Just like a relationship, a long-distance friendship can struggle. But if you are willing to put in the effort, you can stay close friends.
You and your BFF could be separated for a number of different reasons. Maybe they got into a school far away, or their family moved. They might even get a job thousands of miles away from you. For that reason, it’s important to know how to maintain a long-distance friendship.
Can it actually last? How strong does a friendship really have to be to survive such distances? It can be a little scary thinking your best friend might be taken away for good but have no fear. As long as you know how to keep the friendship alive, you’ll be just fine. [Read: What makes a good friend]
Friendships take a lot of time and effort
Long-distance friendships require more work than local friendships, but this doesn’t mean they are all work and no play. This is your friend, and you love them. Keeping up to date and making time for each other without physically seeing each other should still be fun.
Friendships are not just these simple little things we have in our lives. Our friendships make up a huge part of our happiness. Without them, you’d be really lonely – even if you have a significant other. Friends are just on a different level completely.
But that means you have to try a lot harder to keep your friendship active if you can’t see each other as often. You have to take steps to make sure you don’t lose out on a fantastic friend. [Read: 18 ways to build lasting friendships]
Can a long-distance friendship work?
This is something you may be asking yourself if you have a friend with plans to move away. A long-distance friendship can work well.
Because you live so far from each other, you should take the time to make sure you’re catching up. Distance doesn’t have to take away from your friendship at all. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so as long as you give this relationship the care and attention it deserves, it can still be golden.
Long-distance friendships are known to be rather strong and can absolutely flourish. [Read: Ways to break up with a friend]
How to make a long-distance friendship work
Making a long-distance friendship work will be an adjustment. It will be different than your relationships with friends nearby. You can’t just drop by their house at the drop of a hat, but that doesn’t mean your relationship has to suffer.
It’ll take some trial and error to see what works best for you and your friend. You’ll have to do a lot of things you’re not typically used to with them. Luckily, we have all the tips you need to make a long-distance friendship last for years on end.
1. Text and call regularly
This is extremely important. You have to stay connected in the same ways you did before. Just because they live far away doesn’t mean you need to cease all forms of communication. In fact, you need to do it more. Be on top of it, and make sure you chat regularly.
Check in on how your days are going. Talk about your social life, work, and family. Just because you aren’t face-to-face doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep sharing the things you’ve always shared.
2. Become pen pals
Your friend lives far away, and you can’t do the stuff you used to do to bond. Writing letters as pen pals is a perfect way to do that!
It’s definitely a bit slower than sending a long text, but handwritten letters can be a lot more touching and intimate. People love to get stuff in the mail, especially letters from friends. Print out some old photos and add those in, too.
You can bond and share deeper stuff when writing. It doesn’t have the urgency of a text. It’s more about sharing than quick back-and-forth exchanges. You can really open up in a letter. Share secrets and talk about life. It’ll be nice to have those memories later on. [Read: 15 things good friends do]
3. Snapchat frequently
Snapchat is a fantastic way to communicate in small bursts that feel more connected. Even if they’re half a world away, they’ll feel like they’re right next to you when you can see their face. This will help you feel close and connected with your BFF.
Send photos of your food or when you’re cooking their favorite meal. Snap some cute pet photos, or show your daily outfits.
4. Video chat
Another way to stay connected is to video chat. Talking on the phone and texting is fun, but it’s not the same as a face-to-face conversation. This isn’t exactly that, but it’s as close as it gets when you have a long-distance friendship.
You can have quick video chats just to ask a question or for some advice about what to wear on a date. You can also plan out longer chats and virtually share a meal. [Read: Using video chat and other ways to make long-distance work]
5. Watch movies on the same nights
This is to maintain some sense of being there with them. If you used to go to the movies a lot as friends, keep doing it. You don’t have to be sitting right next to each other to see a movie on the same day. This really helps you both feel like nothing has changed, even when you’re far away.
If you both love a show, watch it while video chatting or just text during the commercials.
6. Send each other funny memes
For some reason, this helps friendships more than a lot of other things. We often don’t have much happening in our lives that’s worth a phone call or video chat.
That means you might not be talking as much as you were when you saw each other more frequently. What you can do instead is send each other funny memes. You can keep each other entertained from far away. If you don’t have time to chat or just don’t really have much to talk about, sending a funny meme shows that you’re thinking of them. [Read: 48 funny and sarcastic things to send your friends]
7. Talk about major world news and events
You can’t just partake in small talk and expect your friendship never to change. If you talked about this major stuff before, keep talking about it. It’s important to maintain a strong emotional connection when you have a long-distance friendship, and talking about touchy subjects will do just that.
You can grow your bond and really get to know each other better by discussing more difficult subjects.
8. Update them on your life and vice versa
Even if it’s a small thing and you don’t think it matters, still talk to them about it. When they lived closer to you, they got to see and hear a lot about your life just by being in it.
Chances are, they’ll be happy to hear about it no matter what. This is another thing that creates the illusion that you’re still very close.
9. Reminisce about fun things in the past
To keep your friendship alive, remember all the good things. Not only will it make you both really happy, but it’ll make you strive to have those times again. When you have that motivation, you’ll put forth more effort to keep your friendship strong.
Send over your past photos that pop up online. Tell your friend when you run into someone from your past. Sometimes you block out certain memories because they’re embarrassing, but reminiscing with a friend can make you look back and smile instead of cringe. [Read: 50 nice things to say to your BFF to brighten their day]
10. Maintain connections with their family if you were close
If you could walk into their parents’ house and grab something out of the fridge when they lived near you, keep doing it. Obviously, you may want to send a courtesy text, but you should still have a strong relationship with their family if you did before.
11. Take trips together
Visit them whenever you can. You can even plan vacations and meet halfway. Even though they live far away, you still want to see them in person now and then. This gives you time to catch up and normalize your relationship before going your separate ways again. [Read: Life lessons you’ll learn on a road trip]
12. Don’t let too much time pass
Things get busy. Because you don’t see each other, you may just overlook texting them for a few days. It happens, but try not to let too much time pass. That’s how you drift apart without realizing it. Even if you just send a meme or funny video, you’re keeping in touch.
13. Send gifts
You don’t need to spend a lot of money, but sending them little care packages is so sweet. If you still live in your hometown and they live further away, send them little treats that are known in your region. You could send them that sweater of yours that they always loved or even a book you read. [Read: Ways to get your best friend back]
14. Plan dates
Just like a couple, plan out dates. You can easily let your long-distance friendship get lost in the shuffle if you don’t make time. Plan to have a nice, long video chat once a week or so. Cook a meal together, or order each other’s take-out and surprise one another with something new and exciting.
15. Do everything you would do if you were able to see each other
You can obviously only do this to a certain degree. The point is to not let things change just because an address did. Send each other pictures, text about your relationships, or call them drunk and tell them you love them. Make sure they know nothing is changing just because you’re no longer in the same zip code.
[Read: Survival tips for every long distance relationship]
The truth is that maintaining a long-distance friendship is a lot like making a long-distance romantic relationship work. You have to actively do things to stay connected and strengthen your relationship every day.
