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How to Get Your Best Friend Back: 11 Calm Steps to Win Them Back

Your best friend is who you tell anything to and don’t feel judged. Sometimes a friendship sours. These 11 ways to get your best friend back helps heal.

how to get your best friend back

Did you have a big fight with your best friend? Or have they been hanging out with someone else lately? These things happen. However, just because you two are in a slump doesn’t mean the friendship is over. There are ways to get your best friend back.

How to get your best friend back – 11 ways that work

In fact, you can still save the relationship and get your best friend back. You just need to figure out how. So, don’t go burning all your memories and photographs in a rage, here are some helpful tips for getting your best friend back.

#1 Assess what happened. Did you two just fizzle out or was it a fight that resulted in you two splitting up? This may sound like a breakup, and it actually is. Your best friend is your pea in a pod, so obviously this is upsetting. You need to evaluate what happened and figure out where it went wrong.

If you’re not sure, you can always talk to someone you trust about the situation and see what they think. Sometimes it’s easier to get a third party opinion on the matter to see if you did something wrong. They also help you realize where your behavior was inappropriate. [Read: Are you losing a friend or are you both just drifting away?]

#2 Give them space. Sometimes, they just need a time out, some space on their own without you hunting them down. I know you probably think talking right away is the best way to fix the situation but for some, it’s not. So, take some time off from them and wait to see if they message you first.

If they don’t, message them after a week of not speaking. If you tried to contact them earlier and they don’t respond, give it more time. They’ll reply when they’re ready.

#3 Put yourself in your best friend’s shoes. Sometimes it’s hard to understand why your friend isn’t speaking to you, but they’re your best friend for a reason. You know them, you know what they’re like. What you need to do is put yourself in their shoes and see how they’re feeling. Maybe you said something very hurtful.

Take some time to think about. This tip goes great with #2 because, during that time out, you’ll have the time to also think about how they’re feeling. [Read: Good friends are like stars – 18 ways to build lasting friendships]

#3 Make amends. Someone has to apologize. Whether it’s you or them. If you don’t think you did anything wrong, well, evaluate whether or not you need to apologize. Sometimes it’s better saying sorry and saving the friendship.

Even if you didn’t think what you did was wrong, someone will have to be the bigger person and take that step in order to move past the situation. So, if you want to be friends again, you’re going to have to say you’re sorry. [Read: 16 things you need to give up to have a happier life]

#4 Don’t get defensive. Listen, whatever the reason is, you may feel the need to get defensive. Maybe your friend is hanging out with a girl you don’t like, and of course, it’s going to look like you’re jealous, because you are.

So, before you start swearing and telling her that her new friend is a skank, just take it down a notch. This isn’t going to get her back. In fact, your best friend is probably going to distance herself from you. So, take a deep breath whenever you feel like you’re going to say something you regret.

#5 Let them speak. I know what it’s like when you’re on a roll and really trying to make your point clear, you basically end up swallowing the conversation. So, let them speak. I know, I know, you have a lot to say, but this is your best friend.

Just calm down and listen. And when I mean listen, I don’t mean waiting for your turn to talk. Be present in the moment. If you let them talk, it shows them that you care and want to fix the situation. [Read: How to fight fair with someone and grow closer]

#6 Talk about what you need to change. If your fight was because you drink too much, then you need to make some changes in your life. Or if you criticize your friend too much, just back off. If you want to get your best friend back, these are things you need to change, and you need to tell your friend that. It shows you’re aware of your actions and how they affect your friend.

#7 Put in some effort. Now that you finished discussing the situation and everything seems like it’s in the clear, put some effort into the relationship. Give your best friend a call or text something about your day. It doesn’t have to be an important text, and it can be small talk. Anything to help you move on from what you experienced. This also shows your interest in rebuilding the friendship. [Read: The 8 kinds of friends everyone needs in their life]

#8 Go out. So, that awkward part is over and done with. Now, you need to get your friendship back to normal. Do everything you normally do with your best friend.

Go for a walk, watch a movie, go to the mall. Whatever it is, just make a plan and do something fun together. If you stay quiet after making amends, it puts you both in a weird spot and keeps you dwelling on the past.

#9 Be persistent. If your friend ignores you and doesn’t let you speak to them, be persistent. Okay, that doesn’t mean call them every hour and leave 30 voice mails on their phone. If you really want them in your life though, you won’t give up on the friendship. I know the situation may be sticky, but listen, that doesn’t mean you can’t fix the relationship. [Read: How to avoid the awkward tension after an argument]

#10 Remind them of a memory. Sometimes people get wrapped up in the negative mindset that they forget about the positive memories they shared with you. Remind them why you’re best friends. Maybe you have some funny pictures or memorabilia to make them think about the good times they shared with you. You need to show them these things.

#11 Do something special for them. Maybe their favorite treat is red velvet cupcakes. Why don’t you bake them some? Or maybe their favorite band is coming to town to play. Go see it with your best friend. Who cares if you don’t like it. You’re trying to save the friendship!

Do something that shows them you care and that you want it to work out. [Read: 18 insightful reasons why you don’t have any friends]

#12 Be public with it. Okay, you don’t need to make a sign saying, “we’re best friends again” and display it at City Hall. But, if you want to get your best friend back, post things on their Facebook page or like their statuses and photos.

This is actually a pretty good way of saying sorry. Don’t overdo it by liking and commenting on everything. But even posting a YouTube on her page can do the trick. Thank god for Facebook, eh?

[Read: 14 signs your best friend isn’t your best friend anymore]

A best friend isn’t easy to find and once you have someone that knows you like the palm of your hand, you don’t want to let them go. So, follow these steps, and you’ll get your best friend back.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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