Click here to read the introduction on how to deal with hate and have a better life instantly.
Hate is a very strong emotion. And it’s also the easy way out.
Sure you can just say that you hate that guy who rejected you, dumped you, or hurt you, and feel all satisfied and strong.
But the bad news is, it’s a feeling that won’t last too long, and it is not exactly going to make the object of your hate die of despair.
It most certainly won’t help you get over the hate you have for this person.
But yes, it will slowly take its toll on you.
How to get over hate
According to psychologists, hate, like any other negative feeling, can take a serious toll on your mind.
It can cause stress and related problems, like lack of sleep and irritability. It can affect your immune system and even make you anti-social. No kidding.
[Read: 14 simple anger management techniques]
And of course, it doesn’t take Sigmund Freud to tell you that excessive hate can cause severe mental distress.
But of course, all these reasons won’t hold well in the heat of the moment. You will be faced with people whom you can’t help but hate. Well, you’re not expected to love everyone you meet anyway. And it’s perfectly alright to hate a few people too. But it is the excessive, uncontrollable hate that creates problems in your life.
So what do you do once you see red? How do you get over hating someone? To begin with, accept what you are feeling. Acknowledge the fact that you do hate someone. Next, find out the real reason for what you are feeling. [Read: How to overcome regret?]
How to get over hating someone
Is it that one really irritable habit of that person that you hate or is it the person as a whole? If it is just that one habit, can you work around it? If you hate the person’s very existence, why is that? Is it because that particular person treated you badly? Or is it because he or she reminds you of someone who had treated you badly?
And most importantly, is it worth such a strong reaction of hate from your side? The more you analyze your feeling, the more you’d realize that it is not worth it. Try spending some time thinking about how to manage hate towards people in your life that you can’t stand. And ask yourself a question. Is hating someone really worth it?
Is it worth all the attention and thought you’re giving them, when they probably don’t even realize all the plotting and whining you’re doing behind their back?
How to get over hate – The real problem
Understand that the hate is your problem, so you have to work it out. Confront the feeling, and then get over it. Don’t hold on to it. Remember that by hating someone, you are still letting them control your feelings, making them get one up on you. There’s no point getting mad, get even by refusing them the satisfaction of affecting you so much. If you’re still mad, throw something like a harmless pillow at a harmless wall for instance. Well, then move on! [Read: Why do men hate talking on the phone?]
Getting over hate – The bottom line
Bottom line? Hating someone has no real therapeutic value. It’s like getting drunk. It helps you push away reality for a few glorious hours while you plot and fantasize about how you can get your revenge. But then, there is the lousy morning after and a terrible headache to wake up to because, quite frankly, your life hasn’t changed one bit. If you really do want to wake up to a better day, it’s up to you to decide your limits of hate and frustration. How much of it is worth it, and how much of it isn’t. So don’t stop hating someone, but learn to draw the line and never let your hate for someone grow into an obsession.
[Read: Annoying girlfriend habits that guys hate]
[Read: Annoying boyfriend habits that girls hate]
By learning how to get over hate and by creating ways to get over hatred, you are actually creating a better life that revolves around you, instead of someone who doesn’t even care about your existence. Knowing how to get over hating someone can actually be the best way to ever get even in the first place.
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