Figuring out how to deal with hate and how to stop hating someone can be simple if you understand the real reasons behind it, and use these simple tips.
How to deal with hate
Hate: verb (-ting) dislike intensely. That is all the mention the term gets in the Oxford English Dictionary.
But of course, the connotations, the real implications of the term can hardly be wrapped in two words, nor does that even reveal a shroud of knowledge on how to deal with hate.
In today’s scenario, more things seem to be wrought by hate than any other emotion.
Hate, it seems, is a greater motivation behind strong action than love.
How to stop hating someone?
They say hate cannot exist without love.
And more often than not, hate is strongest when it comes in the place where love once was.
Knowing how to deal with hate is as simple as understanding this fact.
It is exceedingly easy to hate someone, say, your ex’s new girlfriend [Read: Why you can’t find love], or your best friend’s boyfriend who is taking her away from you!
But it is not always love lost that leads to hate. Years of piled up frustration and neglect too can make you start hating someone. So is jealousy.
There are many who end up without knowing how to deal with hate in their hearts, for their siblings, for their former friends, spouses, or colleagues, because they were consumed by jealousy. Or because they feel what was rightfully theirs went to the other person. [Read: An ex’s hate story]
But, hate need not always be because of someone else. It is as much an indicator of your own personality, say psychologists.
If you are among those who are generally unhappy and dissatisfied with life, it’s more likely that you will have a hard time dealing with hate and anger. [Read: Do you feel lost in life?]
Understanding how to deal with hate
If you’ve always thought that you got a raw deal, then in all probability, you will also hate the people who you think got it easy. It could be a result of what you went through in your life. Your past experiences shape what you are today. And all this will only make it more difficult for you to deal with people you hate.
There are people who generalize their feelings, for or because of, one person in an entire group. If you had an abusive father, you may subconsciously hate all older men. Or the reason you hate your boss so much could be because he reminds you of that obnoxious teacher who used to always pick on you, and lose no chance to humiliate you in class, for no fault of yours.
[Confessions: Things I hate about my woman]
[Confessions: Things I hate about my man]
How to deal with hate – Understanding the real reasons
The reasons for hating someone could be various. But that does not in any way change the fact that you have to deal with the people you hate nevertheless. And it is going to harm no one as much as it harms you.
The most powerful argument against hatred is that it is pointless. So you hate that bitch in your best friend’s life. It is not going to make your best friend dump her. It is definitely not going to cause her any sleepless nights.
All it will do is make things uncomfortable between your friend and you. And make you mad. That you hate someone or don’t know how to deal with hate is your problem, not theirs! [Read: Anger management in relationships]
Sometimes, hate can also make you lose a lot. You hate half of your team at work. So you decide not to go to that team get-together and it so happens that, that annoying know-it-all in the next cubicle manages to become best pals with your boss over a few drinks, and sneaks away that coveted promotion right underneath your nose. Who’s loss?
Hatred for one person can also make you have to exclude, or avoid the people you love. Because you can’t stand being around one person, you may have to stay away from those you love, because they don’t feel the same way as you do.
How hate can change your life
You could be so busy hating people, that you fail to see love and concern coming from another direction. You may be too involved in managing all that anger and hate at your ex-boyfriend who dumped you for another girl, that you cannot see your friend, standing next to you all the while, waiting for you to get over the hurt and anger. You must understand that patience can run out eventually.
Even the most loyal friends can give up and walk away, if they see that no matter how much they care for you and love you, you never notice.Learn to deal with people you hate. It can change the way you feel about yourself and the world. [Read: How to be happy in life]
Understanding how to stop hating someone is simple if you can understand that you’re causing more pain to yourself than the person you hate. Find out how to deal with hate with these simple tips on how to get over hate.
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