How to Read the Signs You are Unofficially Dating & Know for Sure

signs you are unofficially dating

Are you in that weird grey area? You’re not official yet, but it feels more than casual. Here are some signs you are unofficially dating.

It’s no wonder that dating is confusing when you think about it. There are so many rules and labels to put on everything! To help you figure out what’s really going on, because I can tell you need it, here are nine signs you are unofficially dating. Calm your nerves, it’s going in the right direction!

Are you, or aren’t you?

You meet and you’re not together, you’re just ‘getting to know one another.’ You start spending all your time together, but it still doesn’t mean anything.

Maybe you become intimate, but you’re supposed to avoid letting your hopes rise. And then you start to avoid seeing other people in a romantic sense, but you’re still not in ‘a relationship.’

[Read: 19 clear signs the two of you are ready for a serious relationship]

How to recognize the signs you are unofficially dating

What is it then? A situation-ship? A weird limbo phase? It’s no wonder that the early phases of dating drive people slightly cuckoo.

#1 You talk to each other about worries and personal things. Let’s be honest, you’re not going to talk to just anyone about how you feel, right? So, if you find yourself regularly confiding in this person with a lot of touchy feely loving going on, then the chances of you being more than casually dating are pretty high. This is one of the main signs you are unofficially dating, but it has to be a two-way thing. Are they confiding in you, too? [Read: These are 19 of the surest signs you could be falling in love]

#2 You regularly make plans. You might decide to go away for the weekend or go to a party in a few days’ time. Maybe you discuss going somewhere exotic in a few months. The point is you’re making plans that are further away than just tomorrow. It means you see yourselves in each other’s lives. If that’s not one of the signs you are unofficially dating, I don’t know what is!

#3 You’re constantly in touch with one another. When you’re not actually together, are you always texting and calling one another? Is there a constant back and forth of funny memes and gifs? While it’s normal in the early stages of dating, if you can add in a few of the other signs I’m talking about, it’s a very good indicator that there is more than just friends/just dating going on. [Read: 9 new relationships tips to avoid the common mistakes new lovers make]

#4 You’ve met friends. If you’ve met their friends and they’ve met yours, that means you’re important to one another without really saying it. Generally speaking, we don’t introduce people to our inner circle who we don’t see sticking around for a while. It’s a good pointer that there’s something more going on here.

#5 You don’t feel the need to date anyone else. These days we date more than one person in the early stages because there’s no commitment there. As long as you’re being safe, you’re free to see whoever you want. However, when things become a little more serious and a label gets placed on the relationship, that all stops.

If you can’t see yourself being with anyone else, if nobody else really interests you, then that’s a good sign. Again, it must be in the other direction too. If they’re not seeing anyone else, that’s one of the signs you’re unofficially dating. [Read: The signs you’re not yet ready for a serious relationship]

#6 You become jealous easily. Again, that early phase is so confusing and fraught with emotions. It’s easy to become jealous when someone speaks to the person you’re dating! If you find yourself with an attack of the green-eyed monster pretty easily, that’s because you see them as more than just a crush. Do they feel the same with you? If so, you’re heading towards official status.

#7 You may have met their parents. This isn’t a given by any means because some people in actual relationships don’t get to meet parents until many months down the line. However, if you have met their parents, it’s a strong signal and one of the huge signs you are unofficially dating. It’s a rare one for so early on but not impossible by any means.

#8 They’re always on your mind. When you do something, do you automatically wonder what they would think about it? And, do you always want to call them first to tell them what’s happened in your life? If so, they’re becoming extremely important to you. It’s one of the signs of more than just dating.

If you find that they do the same for you, e.g. calling you to tell you something that’s just happened, it’s a huge indicator towards an official relationship. [Read: Dating vs. Relationship – 14 signs to know your status]

#9 Your social media feeds are full of one another. Some people don’t really care about social media, but a lot of people do. So, if you fall into the latter category and your social media feeds are full of likes, comments, and tagged photos of one another, the chances of your relationship fizzling out too quickly are pretty slim. That’s one of the big signs you are unofficially dating because you’re showing your beau to the world without thinking twice. [Read: 15 things you shouldn’t do on Instagram when you have a partner]

Is it time for “the conversation”?

How many of these nine signs you are unofficially dating can you nod along to? You don’t need to tick them all off, but if you can relate to at least half, it’s a strong sign that your dating situation has turned from casual to something more serious.

Should you have a conversation about it? It really depends on whether it bothers you that there’s no solid label yet or not. Couples don’t always need to have the sit down “what are we” conversation in order to be solid.

Not everyone feels the need to have a label anyway. It’s about how you feel, how you treat one another, and the boundaries you put in place. However, if you want to be exclusive and you’re not too sure if the other person is on the same page, that’s something you should talk about.

[Read: How to talk to someone about your relationship: The DTR made easy]

Do it in a casual manner and don’t be too heavy when you have this conversation. If someone is a little scared of commitment or they’ve had bad experiences in the past, it’s not hard to scare them and make them back off. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seek the answers you feel you need.

It also depends on how long you’ve been unofficially dating before you have this conversation. If it’s been just a few weeks or a month, wait a while. Don’t start making things heavy at this stage, simply try and enjoy the fun and butterflies without demanding answers and pinpointing where you are on the dating spectrum.

The number one mistake you can have early on in any dating situation is to push things too soon. I totally understand why you might want to get answers, because dating is hard. It’s also fun if you allow it to flow. It takes time, but just let go of the angst and enjoy the dates, the stolen glances, the kisses, and the general enjoyment that can be totally lost if you focus too much on what’s going to happen.

[Read: How to fix a rushed relationship and slow down and have fun]

These signs you are unofficially dating are pretty strong indicators that your relationship is moving towards official and serious status without actual saying the words. Enjoy it!

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...

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