You’ve found someone you really connect with. You can’t stop thinking about them. You want to spend every single second together, and you’re sure that this is The One. Slow down. Seriously, chill out, or learn how to fix a rushed relationship.
Rushing into a full-blown relationship is not a good thing. Officially.
Sure, I get it. You want to solidify things. You want to put a label on it and get past the uncertain part of a new relationship and into established territory. Trust me, I understand. Remember, there is a reason we should go through those weird yet still very wonderful early stages. We get to know one another and don’t lose ourselves in the midst of being part of a couple.
If you rush past all of this, you’re sure to end up stuck.
[Read: How fast is too fast in a relationship and timing it all perfectly]
The 8 important suggestions to know how to fix a rushed relationship
Learning how to fix a rushed relationship isn’t easy, I’m not going to lie. When you’ve rushed things, rewinding can be difficult. It’s far easier to speed things up! You’ll probably hit the point where you begin to argue a lot, simply because you don’t actually know each other as well as you thought you did.
One *or both of you* will start to feel pushed and even suffocated. Basically, you need to put the brakes on for a while and let some time pass.
Now, this is a risk. When you do that, there is the chance of drifting apart. But if that happens, the relationship wasn’t meant to be in the first place. If you reconnect after slowing things down, you’ll probably find that you learn some strong lessons from the experience. And your relationship will be stronger as a result.
[Read: 18 tips to fall in love slowly like you’re in a fairytale]
If you want to know how to fix a rushed relationship and salvage things before they truly hit a roadblock, let’s explore a few potential options.
#1 Ask yourself why you rushed in the first place. The first thing you should do is a little soul searching. Really ask yourself why you felt the need to rush things. Was it you who rushed or was it your partner? If it was your partner, why did you go along with it?
There are many reasons why people feel the need to rush things. It’s normally due to either low self-confidence or because of a bad experience in the past and a need to get the new relationship on solid, established ground. Both reasons aren’t particularly healthy. Before you can work on learning how to fixed a rushed relationship, identify your reasons and be totally honest with yourself in the process. [Read: How to stop making the same mistakes in relationships]
#2 Talk things through. The problem with rushed relationships is that communication is normally not great. You haven’t taken the time to get to know each other and feel totally comfortable with talking about difficult topics, so it’s likely that this is something that fills you with dread. However, it’s something you have to do.
Be honest and admit that you feel like the relationship has been rushed, but that you want to try and salvage things over the longer term. Regardless of who was the one doing the predominant rushing, be sure that you’re both on the same page and that neither of you feels like the other one is trying to get out of the relationship. That’s really not what is going on here.
The fact you’re trying to learn how to fix a rushed relationship says that you want it to work. The more you communicate honestly and openly, the greater chance you have of making things work. [Read: How to communicate in a relationship and experience a better relationship]
#3 Think about whether you need to take a break from the relationship. Before you panic at the word ‘break,’ wait! Taking a break isn’t doesn’t always have to be an option. Even if it is, ‘break’ doesn’t mean ‘break up’.
A break means slowing things down, taking a step back, and simply allowing the relationship to flow naturally. There is no need to rush things and push things in a specific direction. If you connect, it will flow where you want it to anyway. [Read: How taking a break in a relationship works]
#4 Spend some time doing things with friends and focusing on yourself. When you rush a relationship, the chances are that you neglect other areas of your life. This normally means you don’t spend as much time with your friends anymore. You start dropping the hobbies that meant so much to you before, and you pour all of your attention onto your partner.
Now you want to learn how to fix a rushed relationship, it’s time to hit rewind on all of those things. Start spending more time with the people you have neglected. Spend some time focusing on yourself too. Consider this an intervention! A wake up call to put things right and start again with everything in the right place, on an even foundation. [Read: How to slow down a relationship and take time to enjoy the romance]
A healthy relationship means having other things in your life apart from your partner but also placing them as a priority. It’s a balance. And it’s one that will be totally out of whack if you rush things.
#5 Don’t confuse your partner. Again, this is about communication. Make sure that you’re clear and don’t send signals that are all over the place. Let your partner know that they’re a priority to you, but you must take a step back to slow things down and salvage the relationship. Let them know you’re doing this because you care about them so much.
If you say that then continue being full on, you’re sending mixed signals. If you say that then totally ghost them, you’re sending mixed signals. Be consistent! [Read: How to take a relationship slow but not so slow that it ends]
#6 Focus on your own healthy boundaries. Relationships need healthy boundaries. These boundaries ensure that you don’t lose yourself in the relationship, and you’re not just putting up with things that you’re not comfortable with. They also ensure that the relationship has space to grow, at the right time.
Take the time to think about what your boundaries are. Don’t be afraid to communicate them with your partner. However, do remember that your partner will also have their own boundaries that you should discuss and accept.
When a relationship is rushed, most boundaries are crossed. It doesn’t make for a long-lasting or healthy union. [Read: New relationship boundaries and 12 lines all new couples must draw]
#7 See this as a learning curve. You’ve rushed things for a reason, or you’ve allowed yourself to be rushed. In that case, what can you learn from it? Rather than seeing the situation as something bad and becoming convinced that your relationship is doomed, assess the situation for learning opportunities. Use it as a tool to help you develop in the future.
What you learn will either help to strengthen your relationship as it fixed itself, or you will put those lessons to good use in future relationships. Either way, it’s win win. [Read: How to love someone: Your easy guide to grow closer and love deeper]
#8 Give yourself time to see how you feel. It’s a good idea to have a time frame in your mind that you can revisit. For instance, now you know how to fix a rushed relationship, you can put those elements into place. Perhaps in a month or two, you can look back on how much progress has been made or what has changed and assess how you feel about it.
Without doing this, it’s very easy for time to just pass by and you won’t be able to really learn from it or understand how your relationship has changed.
[Read: Is your relationship moving too fast? Here’s how to pinpoint the right speed for you]
All is not lost! Putting on the brakes and learning how to fix a rushed relationship takes time. It also requires a conscious effort on both sides and a need to communicate honestly and openly.
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