When my son was in travel baseball many years ago, there was a couple that had four children. What you would expect is either a team effort trying to wrestle four small children or at a minimum, one coaching while the other ran around after the other three. What was apparent and not cool to the rest of us around, was that being in female led relationships, was totally okay with the guy.
He used to show up with two kids in a wagon, one running to get on the playing field and the littlest strapped on his back like a backpack. Trying to smile, we would all ask, “Where is Suzy?” which was really a jerk move on our part because we all knew what the answer was. Not here.
Female led relationships – 50 signs that scream you are in one
So, we would joke about what went on in their house, like her saying “Hey Todd, the laundry isn’t going to do itself,” while he lived his non-joking life of looking miserable. If he was a stay at home dad that would make sense, but he had a full-time job, and she didn’t.
The whole thing was nonsensical to the rest of us who were typically ball field widows whose husbands got to coach when they wanted, golf when they wanted, and had very little responsibility for child rearing at all.
Although somewhat envious of Suzy, years later I look back at it and realize I don’t think I could be comfortable leading my husband by the nose, although he would insist that I am. In my world, I juggle and struggle, and my husband is mostly oblivious to what goes on in my day or our household unless it directly involves him.
That is the way I like it. He has his thing and I have mine. The strangest part is that Todd had absolutely no idea that his marriage was different from everyone else’s.
If being in a female led relationship is what you want, well, all power to you! But if you believe you’re holding the reins, take a look at these 50 signs of typical female led relationships and ask yourself if you see most of these signs in your relationship.
#1 You do the dishes, not just once, but all the time. [Read: 20 things happy couples never do in a relationship]
#2 You are constantly angry because dinner is cold, and she is late again.
#3 You have to check with her before you buy a car, or anything really.
#4 You pick up your own socks.
#5 You spend more time picking up kids and carting them around then she does.
#6 She doesn’t check with you when she spends money, like big money.
#7 The phrase “wait until your mother comes home” is a threat.
#8 You are all about the clipping coupons.
#9 Guys night hasn’t happened since you met.
#10 You can’t remember the last time you got to do anything for yourself.
#11 She gives you an allowance when managing the joint account. [Read: First year of marriage: Surprising truths no one talks about]
#12 You not only know where the washer and dryer is, but like I said: “Todd, the laundry isn’t going to do itself.”
#13 She’s on a girl’s weekend every other weekend.
#14 Your honey-do list never, never, never ends.
#15 Your wife corrects you every time you reprimand the kids.
#16 You feel like you moved back in with your mom.
#17 You have memorized the phrase “yes, dear.” [Read: Selfish people – 15 ways to spot and stop them from hurting you]
#18 Before you answer a yes or no answer question, you look over to see which way her head is turning.
#19 She shushes you.
#20 All of your credit cards are in her name because she wants it that way.
#21 Men activities or the mere talk of them are a no-no.
#22 You haven’t seen anything on television that isn’t reality TV or a Lifetime movie since y’all started dating. The remote has a “do not touch” sign on it, and you wouldn’t dare! [Read: 11 types of girls you should avoid dating at all costs]
#23 She tells you when you have had too much to drink, and that is usually after one.
#24 You wanted one child, and you look around, and there’s like four or five.
#25 You can’t do anything right, like EVER!
#26 She not only picked out the engagement ring, but she also set the date, hired the band, and planned the proposal “surprise.”
#27 Anything that veers from “ask your mom,” are feuding words.
#28 She drives even when you are sober.
#29 What wifey wants… wifey gets! [Read: 20 signs your wife has a control freak inside of her]
#30 Happy wife, sane life.
#31 You find that it is easier to say sorry when right than to deal with ever being right… about anything.
#32 When you tell the dog to get off the couch it just stares blankly at you, when she does, it hops to!
#33 You go to her family’s house for every occasion and see yours solo.
#34 You have to race home on guys/girls night out, so you get home first or the night is ruined.
#35 You sit down to pee, so you don’t accidentally get any urine on the seat. [Read: Do you have a mangina, pussy? 30 things that scream yes]
#36 You actually know how to fold a fitted sheet, ‘cause she showed you umpteen times.
#37 You know that there is a place for everything and everything better damn be in its place.
#38 She not only has a birthday, she has an entire birth month.
#39 ESPN means “Each Spoon Placed Neatly” in your house.
#40 No way you are going to your best friend’s bachelor’s party… ain’t even asking!
#41 Blow jobs are like giving flowers. You give way, way, way more flowers than she does.
#42 You go to great lengths to get your porno fix and not let her find out. [Read: 10 things to do to become manlier, but not aggressive]
#43 You quit social media because she insisted after seeing girls on your list.
#44 You can’t leave the house without her dressing you.
#45 She never leaves your side at a dinner party, not because she wants to hang out, but so you don’t say anything stupid.
#46 You hate cats, but you have five of them. [Read: 15 types of bad girlfriends who’ll make your life a living hell]
#47 You wanted a truck, but you embarrassingly sport around the neighborhood in your minivan because she “likes” it.
#48 She talks no differently to you than she does to the kids, one and the same.
#49 She talks about you like you are a baboon, and it makes you uncomfortable. But, hey, it’s all about keeping the peace, right? [Read: How to say no: Stop please people and feel awesome instead]
#50 You have her period date programmed in your phone just as a heads up to hell.
There is nothing wrong with a female-led relationship if it works for you. But, if you are starting to feel a little less like a man and a little more like a child, it might be time to speak up.
[Read: On the flip side, 11 real reasons why a female led relationship is awesome]
When in a relationship, there is a spot that everyone takes whether submissive or dominant. If it works for you, then screw it. If it isn’t working for you, then trust in your love enough to say something.
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A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...
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