Male moaning isn’t something we talk about as much as the female version. But, it happens! Learn why your guy doesn’t moan and how to change it.
Sex is an expressive form of communication, where people use their bodies and their minds in the most intimate ways possible. Most people require only a comfortable flat surface and two warm, clothes-less bodies, but many choose to use props and sounds. Moaning is a way of communicating your enjoyment during sex, but why do we hear fewer guys moaning than girls?
The sounds made during sex are either words, in the form of dirty talk, or moans that communicate that they are having an extremely good time—fake or otherwise.
But as a girl, the most you can usually hear during a sex session is your own vocalization, and the sound of your male partner’s breathing.
Now, that doesn’t mean that male moaning doesn’t happen. It’s simply that we think more about the female moan.
Despite that, there are ways you can encourage your guy to make a little more noise, if he wants to, and the different types of moans to listen out for. [Read: Sex sounds – How to moan and look & sound even more sexy in bed]
Why men should moan more
When a man chooses not to moan, it’s not that big a deal. It’s the same with women – some women just don’t like to make much noise during sex because they’re too busy concentrating on the sensations. It’s fine either way.
Still, it can be a conundrum, especially when you’re the type of person who gets off on hearing their partner moan.
But all said and done, it’s more common for men to refrain from moaning, for a variety of reasons. [Read: How to sound really sexy in bed and arouse your partner]
Why is it an issue for some men and women? Is moaning really that important? The answer to that is, yes. And no.
It’s okay if a man doesn’t express himself vocally in the bedroom, because he might be the type who doesn’t like moaning or thinks it’s unnecessary. But it can be necessary for some partners, because it could be an important part of their sexual routine. So why should men moan more? For starters, it’s because of these reasons.
1. It arouses your partner.
2. It gives your partner an idea of how you’re feeling.
3. It can increase your pleasure.
4. It can help you orgasm on command.
5. It makes you more vulnerable and open.
So, why is male moaning pretty rare?
We have come to the conclusion that there is no scientific basis as to why most men don’t moan during sex. In terms of people’s opinions, however, it seems that there are a few general reasons why men don’t moan. [Read: Why do women moan during sex and all the reasons that’ll surprise you]
1. Concentration issues
In order for a man to prolong the moment of his ejaculation, he either has to rein himself in or train himself to last for a long time.
For some men, concentrating on keeping his orgasm in check can be hard when he’s moaning. That’s why some men prefer to bite their tongue and focus more on their partner’s pleasure, instead. [Read: 34 sex secrets and easy moves for men to last really long in bed]
2. Self-consciousness
Moaning is not as simple as it sounds. Some people are very sensitive about the type of sounds they make during sex.
Some moans don’t sound sexy at all, which is why some people might be iffy about trying it out with another person in the room.
3. Perception of masculinity
It’s not a widespread belief, but many men still think that moaning is a sign of weakness, because you are expressing yourself in a way that signifies you’re giving in to the pleasure from your partner.
That’s totally a good thing, which is why it boggles the mind to think that you’re supposed to suppress your basal instincts, using grunts instead of sensual sounds. [Read: Masculine traits – 21 healthy and unhealthy manly characteristics]
4. Inexperience
Some people who have never tried moaning during sex may find it difficult to start for that very reason. They have no idea how or when to start, which makes it difficult to do so when you’re in the throes of passion.
5. Second-guessing
Just like with inexperience, it can be difficult for a guy to initiate the act of moaning when he’s not sure how it will be received, or how he’s supposed to do it.
There’s no right or wrong way to moan, but knowing that there’s a chance it could be unattractive can stop a guy in his tracks.
6. Societal norms
Men are not known to be vocal in the bedroom. Even in porn, you rarely hear guys moan. Grunt, yes. Say demeaning and borderline illegal things to their partner, also a given.
Moaning, however, is rarely added in the sound bytes. [Read: 25 most common porn myths almost all people still believe]
7. Desensitization
Some men don’t really find moaning all that useful. No matter how much they try or test variations of moaning, it won’t sit well with them. It could be because they’re just not triggered by it sexually, or they just don’t find it sexy at all.
8. Personal preference
For many women and a lot of men, moaning can intensify your sexual experience. When someone doesn’t see it that way, that’s just probably how they’re built or programmed. [Read: Sexy words – Your guide to making dirty talk sound so much sexier]
How can you get your guy to moan more?
Remember that you can’t force your guy to engage in male moaning if it’s just something he’s not down for doing. But, if it’s important to you, there are ways you can encourage your guy to make a little more noise in the sack.
1. Talk to him
The easiest way to get someone to do something is to ask them directly. If your fella doesn’t want to, respect his decision.
If you really need to be with someone more expressive in the bedroom, it’s probably time to consider where you see the relationship going. [Read: 40 worst things to say to a man before getting it on in bed]
2. Make him feel comfortable about it
Tell your partner what he can expect and ask him if he’d like some tips on how to get started. Assure him that he has control over the situation, because that can ease him into the idea of trying something new, without knowing the outcome.
3. Create a safe environment for him to start moaning!
In order to do this, make sure that you can promise your partner a nonjudgmental and open environment where he can express himself fully.
Do it in private. Make sure the curtains are closed. Add a little mood music, as well, to soften the beginnings of your partner’s first foray into moaning.
And finally, don’t joke about it after sex or snort our laughing midway when you’re having sex! [Read: Do you emasculate your man? 14 things women say or do that break a man]
4. Remember that it may come down to baby steps
If it doesn’t work out like you expected the first time, you can always try again. That’s 90% of the fun in this exercise.
5. Try a little dirty talk
Talking in a sexy voice or saying naughty things can help your partner transition into moaning. He doesn’t even have to stop talking dirty. He can just add a little moaning in the mix, and that will sound just as sexy. [Read: A guy’s guide to talking dirty to a girl without turning her off]
6. Turn up the pleasure a little
If all else fails, try to take the reins and make him feel so good that he can’t help but moan. There are a variety of things you can do, like using toys, trying new positions, or giving him the works during a blowjob. [Read: How to give good head – The biggest guide and 50+ blowjob secrets]
Even when your partner doesn’t moan during sex, your sex life isn’t doomed. It just means that your partner is set on expressing his pleasure through other means.
Take a look at his eyes, his lips, his body movements—those are just as expressive as the sounds coming from his mouth.
The different types of male moaning to listen out for
It’s not all bad news! There are plenty of men out there who do moan, in fact, there are different types of male moaning too.
It could be that your guy is actually moaning, he’s just doing it in a way that you don’t recognize because it’s not how you would generally moan. [Read: How to have a sexy voice – 17 ways to make your listener fall in love]
Let’s check out a few types of male moaning so you can figure out whether your guy is being more vocal than you realize.
1. Breathy sighs
These are different from normal sighs; they’re breathy, quiet, and almost undetectable in some ways but they’re a sure-fire sign of passion.
2. Sharp intakes of breath
Does he breathe in very quickly every so often? That’s a form of male moaning! He’s telling you that he’s just experienced a peak second of sexual pleasure and he’s waiting for the next wave to hit.
3. A change in his voice
If he talks to you during sex, perhaps if he asks if you like what he’s doing etc, listen to his voice. Does it change? Is it a little huskier perhaps? Lower?
That’s a form of moaning, albeit very well hidden. His voice is changing under the strain of holding in all that pleasure! [Read: How to talk dirty to a guy and sound really sexy]
4. Long exhales
If your guy takes longer to exhale, it’s because he’s concentrating on not blowing his load too early! It’s a sexy sound and one that tells you he’s seriously enjoying himself.
5. Mmmmm or ooooh
We hear this in regular life, e.g. when someone likes food and they say “mmm”, but it can be used very effectively in sex too! If your guy is ‘mmmm’ing away, it’s a form of male moaning and he’s loving every second. The same goes for the odd ‘oooh’.
6. Grunting
Women don’t tend to grunt during sex, so when a guy does it, it doesn’t fit into the regular moaning pattern.
However, grunting noises are very common for men during sex. Listen out, because they might be very quiet. [Read: What do guys like to hear in bed the most?]
7. Yeah
He might whisper this to himself, but if so, he’s encouraging himself on, he’s loving it and he’s moaning away in his own head.
8. Swearing
Some guys swear during sex and that in itself could be classed as a form of male moaning. He does this because he can’t quite believe how good it is.
Be sure to check out whether your guy is doing a few of these male moaning moves and you’re not really noticing. Just because he’s not screaming or moaning in the same way that you do, doesn’t mean he’s not moaning in his own way!
[Read: 22 very common reasons why women fake an orgasm in bed]
And don’t forget about yourself; if your man doesn’t moan in bed, you can moan as much as you want, which is just as good a deal as your partner doing it!
