Whether it’s a first time or years into a marriage, foreplay is key to a wild, sexy night. Use these tips to really turn her on with the right moves.
Foreplay is the best way to get a woman hot, and it’s essential to keep things interesting in a long-term relationship. But it’s not as easy as it sounds. First off, every woman is different and what works for one won’t necessarily work for another.
A range of factors and emotions can change what turns her on. Even day to day, things can change. One night a woman might want a long, drawn-out foreplay session, another day she may want to get right to lovemaking. That said, here are some foreplay techniques that are nearly universal, and work all the time!
It starts with a kiss
Nearly all women love a great kisser. A long, passionate kiss can go on for a good couple of minutes, and it’s a huge turn on. Start slowly, kissing her cheek and around the edges of her lips. Bring your hand slowly up her neck and caress her cheek.
Push your fingers through her hair and slightly pull her in towards you. Kiss her lips, slowly at first with short kisses and a closed mouth. After about 10 seconds, very gently pinch one of her lips between yours. You should both feel the slightest wetness of each other’s lips. She will be getting into it now and both your mouths should start to open slightly.
Don’t shove your tongue in or go so close that your teeth bump. Your tongues will occasionally touch but you should not force it. And don’t forget to come up for air, the long kiss should be a series of shorter kisses. Follow her lead, if you can tell she loves it, keep going. If the kisses are getting shorter, then it’s time to move on to the next step. [Read: 10 tips to make every kiss of yours feel passionate and romantic!]
Next up, neck
Communication is important, but that doesn’t have to mean speaking. Pull back slowly and catch her eye. Give a small smile that says you are enjoying this. A hint of mischief in your eye is not a bad thing. Pull her close again and kiss her cheek, then move down to her neck.
The neck is one of the most sensitive and sensual areas on a woman. Even a faint breath can excite the nerve endings. Start as gently as you can, with a short exhale, then graze her skin with your lips. Give a few light kisses before bringing your tongue into the mix. [Read: 20 sneaky things you can do to keep her in the mode immediately]
There is a really fine line here between passionate and sloppy. Wet touches from smooth lips and tongue can excite the senses, but being drooled on is a huge turn-off. Light sucking will send shivers down her spine, but suck too hard and you can cause pain and leave an embarrassing mark. You will only need to suck about as hard as you would on a drinking straw. Keep your lips pursed out so the soft, wet inner lips contact her skin. Be attentive for any cues she gives with her breathing, moaning, or squeezing your shoulder. [Read: 12 things guys do in bed often that makes girls want to fake it!]
Off with her clothes
If you’re not already naked, it’s time to start getting that way. First, a warning: If this is a first time hookup, make sure she is okay with going further. Even if she hasn’t said anything, she may not be comfortable with it. A true gentleman will always ask. If she says no, or seems uncomfortable, stop. And then tell her it’s okay, don’t try to make her feel bad or guilty.
She will probably want to continue, and she will be more trusting because you asked. The experience will surely be better for it.
Everybody, even the smoothest Casanova has had trouble getting a woman’s clothes off at some point in their life. Women’s fashion can have zippers in places you’d never even think to look, and buttons that are just decoys. Bras can seemingly incorporate NASA technology. Don’t sweat it. Take your time, let her help, and stop panicking by trying to get something away in haste.
Boob play, the right way
Bad foreplay usually involves a bit of kissing, followed by awkward breast groping and licking. But don’t blame boob play, when done right, it is one of the hottest parts of foreplay. It’s great for men, because men love breasts. But it’s also a woman’s most sensitive area, besides the obvious ones, of course.
It was noted above that all women are different, and that’s especially true when it comes to breasts. Some women like hard squeezing and sucking, while this can be painful for others. The most important thing is not to hurt her, so start gently. Rub her nipples, and squeeze her breasts lightly. You can suck harder here than on her neck, but you should still avoid leaving a mark where people might see if she wears a low cut shirt.
Remember, you are not doing this only for her. Foreplay is about mutual enjoyment, so don’t forget to savor the moment. If you love the feel of her boobs, feel away. If you are a visual person, steal a peek. Again, try to listen for her cues to find out what she likes. If she wants you to suck or squeeze harder, she’ll let you know. [Read: 9 sexiest foreplay moves you can ever use in bed!]
Work your way down
From her breasts, kiss down along her ribs on the side of her body. Be gentle enough to make her body tingle, but firm enough that you don’t tickle her. Slide a hand down her thigh, but save the best part for later.
Women are often self-conscious about themselves, especially about their naked bodies. As you kiss her and stroke her, tell her how sexy she is. Tell her how much you love her body. A great activity is kissing her on every body part that you find sexy. Later, you can ask her to do the same to you. [Read: How to make out with a girl and make her love every little thing you do]
Another very sensitive area that you should not ignore during foreplay is at her waist. This is the area just up and in from where her hip bone protrudes, below her stomach but above and out from her pubic hair *or where it would be if she still had it*. Light, wet, sucking kisses here will drive her wild.
The last super-sensitive area left is her inner thighs. You can go straight there, or come up for another round of kissing. Kissing her inner thighs in the same soft and sensual way you kissed down her body will have her going wild. She will be more than ready for what should inevitably come after this. And note, it’s not sex, not yet. And if you’re not giving her oral sex very often, you’re doing something wrong. [Read: How to get a girl horny and wet while simply sitting next to her!]
Keep things interesting
Any routine, no matter how sexy can become monotonous after long enough. Be sure to change things up now and then. You can do this whole process lying on the bed one night, then try it standing the next. It will feel totally different. Try it in the kitchen, or anywhere else for a whole other experience.
Use this technique as your base, but change things around. Mix in situational role-play, or dress-up, talk about your fantasies together and try acting some out. Whatever you’re doing, foreplay is essential to get her turned on, and to keep the moment going.
Remember, making love is a beautiful, amazing thing. Foreplay not only makes it so much better and turns her on like crazy, it makes the experience last longer as well. Why would anyone ever want to ignore it?
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I'm a freelance writer dividing my time between the beaches of Thailand and my hometown of Chicago....