Home  >  Reads for Men  >  Guy Talk

Big Balls – The Pros, Cons and What Girls Think of Them

big balls

You think you’re big and hairy, hard to carry down south of your boxers… but are big balls normal? Here’s what big testicles really mean.

Do you have big balls? Do girls like big balls? Are big balls normal? These are only some of the common search queries Google is eating up about the world of big balls, and we’re doing our best to give you the answers!

In the words of AC/DC, “Some balls are held for charity and some for fancy dress, but when they’re held for pleasure, they’re the balls that I like best.” This playful song about beloved big balls still resonates with men who have big testicles and 1970s music lovers, alike!

The point? Big balls may not be the subject of a sports night with the guys the way boob problems are the subject of a girl-gabbing Sunday brunch, but they are definitely a subject men are researching online! We’re looking at what is normal in the world of testicles, how girls feel about ball size, and whether your balls are normal. [Read: What do women really think about your penis?]

What is normal, anyway?

Having some other wonders about your downtown twins? Some other completely natural ball-related concerns include having one testicle bigger than the other, one hanging lower, and a loose, tightened, or veiny scrotum. All bodies come in different shapes and sizes, including those big balls of yours! Body positivity aside, the average testicle size is 1 inch wide and 2-3 inches long. So, basically anything over or under these stats would cause your balls to drop *no pun intended* above or below the “norm.”

Pros and cons of having big testicles

Do you want the bad news or the good news first? As it turns out, there are plenty of pros and cons to having larger-than-life testicles. While no man will weigh in at the right whale’s ginormous, one-ton balls, here’s what you’re in for as a human male with big testes.

PROS

#1 The bigger the balls, the more sperm you have. That’s right! If you’re looking to spread your seed and make life, big balls below means you have more sperm to give and more of a chance to impregnate your lucky lady!

#2 Increased sex drive. Given your natural endowment, you may be sporting a higher sex drive.

#3 Self-Confidence. Admit it… your boys are big and you’re proud to show them off. Go ahead–hold your head high!

CONS

#1 Fatherhood may not be your forte. While you may have enough sperm to go around in those big clunkers, some scientists suggest that men with smaller testicles are the ones who make “father of the year” material. Men with bigger balls allegedly have poorer parenting skills than men with a smaller sack. This is linked to a decrease in testosterone.

#2 Promiscuity. Some researchers suggest that men with larger testicles are more likely to cheat. Why? Too much testosterone kicking around! Your personal preference of getting laid may suggest this bullet point belongs in the “pro” section… but we think your partner would disagree! [Consider: Why do people become promiscuous?]

#3 Addicted to alcohol. One study done by the University of Florence suggests that men with big testicles are more likely to be alcoholics.

#4 High blood pressure. The same study says that big balls equal high blood pressure in males.

#5 Heart disease. Research on 2,800+ Italian fellows was conducted for more than 7 years concerning sexual dysfunction. The findings? Men with larger testicles had links to heart disease and other cardiovascular health issues.

Real opinions from real girls

Do women like big balls? This common question stems from the ol’ “bigger is better” notion. We surveyed several different women for their opinions on larger-than-life testicles and here’s what we found:

“I honestly have never noticed the size of my partner’s balls… ever.” – Brittany, 23

“I dated one guy with microscopic balls. Microscopic! I kid you not. Okay, obviously I’m kidding but they were so small I questioned whether he could legit impregnate anyone. You know how those Beta Fish are put in those fish tanks roughly the size of a stick of butter? That’s how I pictured his sperm. Down to the real question: did I give a crap? Nah. We boned anyway and it was G-R-E-A-T.” – Michelle, 19

“I feel like the bigger the balls, the more gross and hairy and smelly they are. Or maybe I just keep dating guys who are opposed to showers. Still, not a fan of balls—period!” – Amanda, 29

“Big balls are great. More to love! My favorite is when they slap against you during doggy. Big, small, who really cares about sack size, anyway?” -Haley, 30 [Try: Sex with an uncircumcised man, myths and all]

When you should be concerned

Still concerned about having big testicles? Stay on top of any health concerns you may have by having regular ball exams. A testicular exam can be performed by your family doctor, or at home, riding solo! Here’s the low-down on how to perform a self-exam.

#1 What do I do? Pro tip: move your penis out of the way before getting down to the boys! Doing one ball at a time, roll your testicle between your thumb and fingers.

#2 What am I looking for? Any lumps, bumps, or changes in consistency.

#3 Practice makes perfect. The more you perform the at-home ball grab, the more familiar you’ll become with your testicles. This will make it easy to discern if anything about your sack has changed. Schedule an appointment with your doctor if you do feel any lumps or changes.

[Check it out: Healthy testicles – 7 at-home tests to keep your balls in check]

When it comes to big balls, penis size, head, shoulder, knees, and toes, there really is no equivocal “normal.” With regular self-checks and the occasional feel from your favorite doc, you should be sitting pretty down south. Instead of sweating over your big balls, enjoy them!

Liked what you just read? Like us on Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

Minot Little
Minot Little

Minot Little is a freelance writer who has been getting paid for spreading her sarcastic take on love, life, and sex since 2010. She is many things that peop...

Follow Minot on

Don't Miss this!

Latest in LovePanky

DISCUSSION

2 thoughts on “Big Balls – The Pros, Cons and What Girls Think of Them”

  1. Virginita says:

    After a HUGE break up I met a girl one night at a punk/goth party. She was a friend of mine’s sister and she was really cute. We were talking about our respective big break ups and were both pretty drunk, so when we both said how nice it would be to have someone to make out with without getting serious we immediately started making out. We would see each other at parties and always have a grope/make-out fest but it never went further than that. One night she came back to my place and it started getting hot and heavy. After we were both nude she told me that she had only been with one guy and that she believed in only having sex with someone you love. I respected that and went down on her, thinking she would reciprocate, but alas no. Turns out she didn’t give head either. Blue balls are a bitch, especially after an awkward hand job. After three or four months of this (during which time we spent much more one on one time that didn’t include fooling around) one night while fooling around she tells me she wants to have sex with me. After four months of her putting up much resistance I kind of respected her stance of only having sex when love was present so I told her no, that I know she was horny but I didn’t want her to violate her own rule. Several times over the next two months she kept trying to get me to have sex with her and I kept telling her no, at first solely out of respect for her rule but then I started to understand that this girl was falling in love with me. She never came right out and said it, but she would constantly tell other people she only slept with people she loved and that same night would try to sleep with me. I really liked her as a person but was way hung up on my ex and still very much in love with her. I just didn’t feel that kind of love for this girl. The night of her 21st birthday I got to the party late. By the time I got there she had already drunk way more than she usually did and had smoked weed (which she never did) so she was completely wild. She made it all of about 45 min with me there before she started puking in the middle of the street, with me holding her hair back. She sat back on the side walk crying and said, “I can’t believe I am throwing up in front of the man I love!!”. Damn. She said it. There was no more question, my suspicions were right. Not a minute or two after she said this she passed out. I picked her up and carried her into the house, stripped her down, and put her in a warm bath to clean her up. Once I got her cleaned up I put her in some pajamas I found and put her to bed on an air mattress in a back bedroom. I figured she was out for the night, so with a heavy heart and a lot on my mind I went out to the party to drink my cares away. And I fucking had a lot of cares. I was hurting someone I really liked just by being around her. I had to break it off the next day. So I drank like my life depended on it. Hours later I went to the back bedroom with the air mattress to pass the fuck out. At that point I am not even sure I could remember what happened earlier. I stripped down (I sleep naked) and jumped under the sheet. I must have passed out because the next thing I remember is a pair of warm, velvety lips awkwardly giving me a blow job. I looked down to see the girl, the girl who never gave head, trying her best to give me a blow job and not doing very well at it. Oh my god I was so horny. Months and months of never cumming once was mixing with the alcohol to make very bad thoughts go through my mind. She said two words “Fuck me”…and I did. Now, this girl had told me she had been with one other guy, so maybe I should have thought about that and the fact she might not be used to sex, much less sex with a person of above average size. I did not think of that. I grabbed her by the hips, went to the hilt on the first thrust, and rode as hard and as fast as I could. I have no idea how long it lasted…probably not very with months of sexual frustration. I was bareback…I hadn’t even brought a condom since we were never going to have sex. Thankfully I had the thought to pull out and I did just in time. Completely spent, I rolled over on the now flat air mattress. She laid there for maybe a minute or two before she burst into tears and ran from the room. I think I passed out right as she left the room. With all the drinking I slept like a log until the next morning. I woke up and looked over to see her laying next to me with her eyes wide open. I remembered exactly what happened and lost whatever bit of drunkenness that was still in me. I said something like “Hey how you doing?”. Her reply? “My cunt hurts so fucking bad.” Ouch. I get out of bed and notice blood on my dick…ouch. We didn’t say two words to each other until right as I left. I told her I felt we had made a huge mistake and had taken things too far. I apologized profusely but said I didn’t think we should see each other anymore. I didn’t see her for a few months when she showed up at my door at 3am. Before she even came in I asked if she was pregnant…she wanted to know who I had spoken to. Oh shit. Turns out she wasn’t sure if she was or not. She had missed two periods but had a negative test. We talked for a bit…I had to actually say that I did not love her at all…I saw her kind of break in front of me. She said it was a relief because she never loved me either so now she could go. She disappeared for over a year…I never found out if she was pregnant or not. Now for the worst part, as if all of that wasn’t bad enough. I was talking to a fiend shortly after we had the pregnant talk. He said that was a pretty fucked up way for someone to lose their virginity. What? No. She had sex with a guy before me. he said, “Man you believed that shit? She didn’t want to scare you off…I am pretty sure you were the only person at that party who didn’t know she was a virgin. You got her cherry.” My heart broke. Oh my god it explained so much…I just sat there with my mouth open feeling as bad about myself as I ever had. How the fuck did I not see this? Am I so naive as to believe whatever people tell me. No wonder she ran from the room crying, no wonder I hurt her so bad…physically and emotionally. I just drank myself to oblivion that night…I still feel like the biggest piece of shit in the world for it. I never wanted to take someone’s virginity…I had made it to 26 without doing so, so I thought I was in the clear. Apparently not. Over the years she will contact me on social media sites and she used to call and leave messages when she had my number. A group of guys who view her as a little sister almost beat the shit out of me at a concert one night (rightfully so) and she had a drinking problem for a long time. I know she is sober now and doing better, but I will never forgive myself for that stupid night. I have always wanted to tell her how sorry I am, but have never known what to say at all. I feel at this point it is better to not involve myself in her life…she was very obsessive for a period of time.

  2. Dee says:

    I find the balls more of a visual turn on than the penis. Yes big is attractive

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *