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Cuckquean Guide: Do You Like Watching Your Man with Someone Else?

Everyone talks about cuckqueans, but do you really know what it is? And if you do, do you know how to be a cuckquean? We’ve got the answers for you.


There’s a new sexual term every day for acts we’ve being indulging in for ages! You may have heard of the term, cuckquean, but do you know what it means? You probably knew that a cuckold was a man with a wife who has sex with other men, but there’s a female equivalent too – Enter the cuckquean!

Now, if you consider trying to be a cuckquean, be mentally prepared. It’s not as easy as it sounds. Why? Because we’re used to a societal norm when it comes to sex and relationships. Are there other types of relationships rather than monogamy? Of course. Are they mainstream? No.

Let’s go through all the details one by one, so you can get familiar with the idea of a cuckquean, what it means, who they are, and why they enjoy certain sexual acts.

What is a cuckquean?

Okay, so you have a general idea. But let’s make it more clear here. A cuckquean is the opposite of a cuckold.

To simplify, a cuckquean is a woman with a husband who has sex with different women. To a cuckquean, the act of watching her husband engaging in sex or any kind of sexual activity with another woman arouses her, and turns her on. Oh, and this is completely consensual. [Read: The cuckold fantasy – The fetish and everything about it]

But all cuckqueans aren’t the same. There are various degrees of a cuckquean, from the tamer end to the fetishist end of the spectrum:

1. The accidental cuckquean

She knows her husband is having an adulterous or illicit relationship with another women, and she doesn’t mind. In fact, she is secretly aroused by this idea that her husband is sleeping with someone else.

2. The participating cuckquean

In this type of scenario, the woman derives sexual pleasure from watching her husband have sex with another woman in front of her. Sometimes, the woman could participate in the sexual activity and indulge in a threesome with her husband and the other woman.

3. The fetishist cuckquean

On the other end of the spectrum, we have the extreme fetishist cuckquean who gets aroused, not just by watching her husband having sex with another woman, but by being verbally abused and humiliated by both of them while she’s watching them have sex.

So as you can see, the term, cuckquean, isn’t a simple definition because it can vary all the way from the tame to the wild.

Do you enjoy fantasizing about someone else with your partner? Click the link to understand how to talk dirty and explore this with your partner.

Why do these scenarios arouse a cuckquean?

There are many reasons why someone in love with their partner, could find the whole idea of watching their partner have sex with someone else arousing. And here are a few great reasons why it happens.

1. Compersion

Selfless love, anyone? Compersion is the joy you feel when you see someone else happy. Have you ever loved someone so much that just watching them enjoying a sexual activity with someone else makes you blissfully happy? No? Doesn’t happen to you?

Well, it’s true, and most couples who find the idea of a cuckold or a cuckquean appealing generally fall in this category.

2. Jealousy

Everyone knows jealousy makes you desire something a lot more. We make people jealous to get their attention all the time. And this works along the same lines. How would you kickstart your sexual excitement if you’ve been in the same relationship for ages, and don’t feel a tinge of jealousy anymore?

Bring someone into bed, and watch them have sex with your partner. To a cuckquean, this jealousy can transform into sexual passion, which can help keep their sex life alive.

Confession: My first accidentally threesome that changed my life forever!

3. Submission

Some women enjoy the idea of losing all power in a sexual power play. Being ordered around and made to undergo humiliation frees them off any responsibility during the act. And watching their partner being satisfied by someone else, it’s liberating and arousing at the same time.

4. Taboo

Okay, the world may slowly be inching towards non-monogamy, but we’re still primarily a self-imposed monogamous species. If a woman secretly fantasizes about threesomes, especially with another woman and her husband, it makes her a cuckquean. Does it make her weird though? Of course not, because a threesome with another woman isn’t just a fantasy for men, it’s one of the most common fantasies for women too. [Read: The most arousing sexual fantasies to try in real life]

5. Sexual fantasy

Plain and simple. Sometimes, a woman becomes a cuckquean because she enjoys bringing her and her partner’s sexual fantasies to life. Have you ever had a threesome? Do you want to? Whether you do it in real life or just leave it as an unattainable fantasy, the fact that a woman is interested in it makes her a potential cuckquean, even if it sounds strange to accept it.

[Read: How to get your partner to open up about sex and speak their mind]

The roles and participants around a cuckquean

In the cuckquean subculture, the man usually takes on a dominant role while the woman is submissive. Now the cuckquean engages in sexual activity with her husband and the other partner, but it doesn’t always happen.

There are three participants in a scenario that creates a cuckquean. So let’s understand what those participants are called.

Cuckquean – You know who she is, the wife.

Hothusband – This is the opposite of hotwifing in a cuckold relationship. This is the husband who participates in the sexual act with another woman in front of his wife.

Cuckcake – With a very cute name, enters the woman who sleeps with the husband in front of his wife.

[Read: The 20s dos and don’ts when you have a real life MFF threesome]

Is being a cuckquean a fetish?

Of course, it is! But then so is anal sex, having sex in front of a mirror, public nudity, PDA, or just about anything else that’s slowly finding its way into mainstream sexual activity. Just because someone calls something you enjoy a fetish, doesn’t mean it’s somehow dirty or perverted.

Think of it this way, anything beyond the missionary sex position was considered inappropriate and perverted several decades ago. We’ve come a long way now, and it’s only a matter of time before things that were once taboo become “normal”.

For the most part, a cuckquean relationship is a heterosexual relationship. So, the wife will only have sex with her husband. It can be bisexual, so the wife may engage in sexual activities with the other woman and husband or only with the other woman.

But that’s usually the extent of that, the husband usually won’t engage in sexual activities with another man.

[Read: 20 extremely weird sexual fetishes that most people would say borders on crazy!]

Is it the same as swinging?

Lines always start to blur when you look for specifics in fetishes. If you follow the strict rules of being a cuckquean and enjoy getting insulted by your husband and his lover while they have sex in front of you, it’s not the same as swinging.

If there aren’t any rules when it comes to what you can and cannot do sexually, things can start to blur here too. This really depends on what you and your partner like, but if all three are having sex, this is just swinging. However, it can include humiliation, BDSM, orgies. It really depends on the couple. [Read: Soft swap – How to ease your partner into the swinging lifestyle]

How to become a cuckquean – What you need to know

So, if you want to try out being a cuckquean, go for it. However, before you go into it, you need to ask yourself a couple questions and prepare yourself for it. Maybe you’ll really like the experience or maybe you’ll find out it’s not for you.

But before you get to that part, it’s time to really look at what it takes to be a cuckquean. It’s always good to be prepared.

If you’re curious about it, then you talk to your partner about it. Let them know how you feel and see what their opinion is on it. If they’re not comfortable with it, don’t push them. Leave them to think about it for a while and then ask them again in a couple weeks. You need to have a mutual consensus on it, or else you’re simply cheating on your partner.

[Read: The most common fetishes + the super weird ones!]

Things to know and rules to follow to give this a try

Before you talk to your husband *or wife* about cuckqueans, here are a few things both of you need to always keep in mind to make sure everything goes smoothly when you bring someone else into bed.

1. Set boundaries

If your partner wants to try this out, the most important thing is to set boundaries. You may not think you need to set boundaries, but boundaries are necessary.

When you’re in the middle of the act, sometimes we get carried away and that’s why those boundaries are there. So, make sure you set them. [Read: Threesome tips – 20 rules to keep in mind before entering one]

2. There isn’t any cheating involved

Many people think this is a form of cheating. It’s not. If they think this is cheating, they just don’t understand the concept. But don’t judge, it’s hard for people to wrap their heads around this. I mean, at first, it will shock them that you want to have sex with other people but also be with them.

3. The minute their permission is not given, it’s betrayal

This is when it becomes cheating. If there’s no permission granted, and you go ahead and do it anyway, well, you just cheated. This only works if your partner agrees to do this. If the boundaries are not followed, this is betrayal to the agreement you made.

4. Have a strong understanding of your sexuality beforehand

If you want to try this out, make sure you have a strong sense of yourself. Know what you look for sexually and know where the line is. The last thing you want is to develop feelings for the third person you’re sleeping with. [Read: Are you lesbian or bisexual? How to understand your true desires]

5. Test it out with your partner

If you both agreed to do this and you’re both new at this, you probably don’t know what to do.

Do create some general boundaries beforehand, however, you’ll notice what you do and don’t like during your first cuckquean experience. Maybe you want to be more submissive or maybe less, so throughout the experience remember the things you do and don’t like. [Read: How to date kinky girls: 19 ways to go from vanilla to spice]

6. After your first time, sit down and talk about it

This only works if you fully communicate with your partner. You need to know how they feel and what they like and don’t like.

So, after the first cuckquean experience, sit down and have a serious talk with your partner. That way, you’ll be able to define the boundaries. They learn how to please you and vice versa.

[Read: 20 intimate questions for couples to build trust and have great sex]

7. Find a third partner

The best way to do this would be to join a swingers group. You’ll have people with all different levels of experiences and they patiently show you the ropes.

Plus, these groups are very well organized and have a high standard for health and safety. You’ll learn how to safely have a threesome and prevent any STIs from occurring.

[Read: Why dating someone with a fetish can make your sex life so much hotter and fun]

Now that you know everything there is to be a cuckquean, you’re well prepared. Have fun and enjoy this new experience!

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...