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The Cuckold Fantasy: The Fetish and Everything About It

Does the thought of your spouse having sex with someone else turn you on? The cuckold fantasy may sound taboo, but it’s more common than you think!


Cuckolding is something you tend to hear from the “ye olde English” works of Shakespeare and Chaucer, but what does it really mean? To be precise, it is the infidelity of a man’s wife. In the old days, calling a man a cuckold would lead to fights—a stab here and there, and duels resulting in a few deaths. Being cuckolded is thought of as the paramount of shame for a man’s honor. You just don’t want that to happen to you. That’s the reason why you see those cast-iron chastity belts in medieval museums.

While infidelity is something that is universally frowned-upon, you might be surprised to hear that there are certain couples—husbands, in particular—who find pleasure in the extramarital relations of their wives. Some of them even have taken it up a notch to make it into a lifestyle.

Something that is unthinkable to an average person has been creeping into the mainstream—you won’t be surprised to see internet forums and hotwifing *hotwifing is another moniker for cuckolding* clubs with members reaching millions, looking for a place to share their experiences and find other men to have a taste of their spouse. [Read: 7 extremely weird, but really popular sexual fetishes]

Cuckolding as a fetish

Let us quickly explain the dynamics of a sexual fetish: you have something that is not really sexual in itself. It could be an inanimate object *think leather garments, stockings, shoes, etc*, a harmless or even mundane activity *like peeing, shaving, or showering*, a body part, or something degrading and painful. A person who gets sexual gratification from seeing or experiencing these things can be said to have a sexual fetish for that object or action.

Bringing cuckolding into the picture seems even stranger; if you have a cuckolding fetish, your wife is having sex with another man. It makes you wonder what kind of pleasure a man can find in something that usually inspires jealousy, heartbreak, and, in some cases, murderous rage. That’s where the weird part of the brain comes in.

What’s in it for the guy: Masochistic pleasure from the shame and degradation of seeing your wife cheat in your face.

What’s in it for the wife: Aside from getting to have sex with other men of you or your husband’s choice, you get sadistic pleasure from dominating your husband, by having sex with another man in front of him, and the exhibitionist pleasure of having sex with an audience. [Read: Does your wife want to sleep with another man?]

7 things to know about cuckolding and hotwifing

#1 How does cuckolding happen? Cuckolding involves at least three people. However, it is not a threesome or an orgy. In an orgy or a threesome, all parties engage in sex at the same time. In cuckolding, the man is an outside observer and does not participate in the action. He merely watches from a distance as a man or groups of men have sex with his wife.

In most cases, the man just sits back on a couch, sipping whiskey as he watches his wife try the whole Kama Sutra with another man. The wife may just let her husband hear her moans and dirty talk, or she can verbally abuse him by saying that her current partner is way better at sex than her husband. [Read: Threesome rules – 20 things to know before you even consider doing it]

#2 How do people get involved in it? Some couples admit that their fetish actually began from real infidelities. Just imagine the scene: a man discovers his wife having sex with another man, confronts her, and instead of running amok, he tells her that he likes what she’s doing and they should do it again, including him the next time. The rest of the cuckolds admit that they got curious and tried it once at a party—and liked it too much to stop.

#3 How do couples choose the third party? Cuckolding is infidelity with consent. In some cases, the husband is actually the one to choose who his wife will sleep with. Other couples set their own rules for their comfort and enjoyment. Some wives choose their own partner, some get theirs from their online community, and some solicit the services of sex workers who specialize in the fetish. [Read: The complete guide on how to start swinging with your partner]

#4 Mainstream cuckoldry and bigger “members.” As mentioned earlier, cuckoldry has attracted enough sexually-curious couples to form a community of their own. As a result, cuckolding generated a whole new market for sex workers who cater to such tastes. Cuckolds and hot wives have their own gatherings, which share the same format as your regular swinger’s party or orgy.

One common and popular theme of cuckolding, which you can find online, is to find a man with a bigger penis to have sex with the wife. In this theme, the husband/boyfriend plays a sad bloke who watches his wife having sex with a well-endowed man. And for some reason, this scenario, apparently, is extremely popular in the cuckolding community. [Read: Why are men so obsessed with their penis size?]

#5 Cuckolding fetish is like emotional S&M. S&M *or sadomasochism* is a classic sexual fetish, where people get pleasure from inflicting and/or receiving pain. This is the fetish where the whip, furry handcuffs, and verbal abuse are let loose. This fetish requires two people; the sadist brings in the hurt, and the masochist gleefully receives and begs for the pain. Both parties enjoy what is happening.

Putting cuckolding into comparison, the dynamics of pleasure are somewhat similar. First, you have a guy who’s watching his wife having sex with another man in front of him. The guy takes pleasure from the anguish of hearing his wife’s moans in the arms of another man. In this scenario, the guy is the masochist taking punishment from his sadist wife, where instead of the physical pain of S&M, the man gets pleasure from the psychological anguish of being cheated on.

#6 Cuckolding is also similar to voyeurism. Voyeurism is the act of spying on the private activities of people, because of the pleasure derived from it. Cuckolding shares the same frequency as voyeurism, as you have a man who does not participate in the sexual activities, but merely watches. It is like watching porn, but live and featuring your wife as the star. [Read: Sexual voyeurism and the horny rush it gives you]

#7 Cuckolding has an exhibitionist feel to it. While the husband plays the voyeur, the wife plays the exhibitionist. Putting oneself in the wife’s situation, you can imagine the complete dominance you have over the cuckolded husband, as he helplessly watches you moan, grind, and make love to a stranger of your choice. At the same time, you can derive pleasure from the fact that you are having sex with a live audience, and it will definitely drive you to performance level. [Read: Sexy exhibitionism – How to get naked in public]

[Read: Cuckolding fetish and 15 other common and super weird fetishes worth knowing about]

Cuckolding is an acquired taste. It may or may not appeal to you, but the fact that some people find it gratifying tells you that all you need to do is give it a try. Or not. As the saying goes, “Whatever floats your boat.”

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Paul Timothy Mangay
Paul aka Morty is a keyboard-pounding cubicle-dweller based in Manila where he occasionally moonlights as a writer for anyone in need of his mediocre word-strin...
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