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21 Tactics & Qualities to Persuade People & Get Inside Someone’s Mind

If you want to know how to get into someone’s mind, then you will need to know how to persuade people. It’s an art, but it’s not difficult if you know how.

how to persuade people and get into someone's mind

Have you ever known someone who is able to get anyone to do anything they want? You might even just sit in amazement thinking that they have some special powers that you could never obtain. You might think, “Am I really that different from this person?” Not at all. But if you want to know how to persuade people and get inside their mind, there are a couple of qualities you have to have.

The three ways to persuade people and make them give in effortlessly

If you want to know how to get into someone’s mind and persuade people, you first need to know the nuts and bolts of what persuasion really is. The bottom line is that persuasion is all psychological.

There are three basic ways you can persuade people.

1. Emotion

Playing on someone’s emotions is the easiest way to persuade people and get inside their mind.

For example, you have probably seen a lot of TV commercials with hungry children or abused animals. They are trying to get you to donate money to feed and save them. [Read: Emotional manipulation – 14 ways people mess with your mind]

So, when you see all of those sad, emotional images of starving children and abused animals, it makes you want to cry. It’s awful to see other living beings treated that way. Because you are emotionally moved, you are more likely to give them money so you can help save them.

In personal relationships, a lot of people rely on using emotion to persuade someone even if they’re not doing it on purpose.

For example, guilt is a powerful feeling, right? No one likes to feel guilty. So, if your partner or friend tries to make you feel guilty for doing *or not doing* something they want, then you are more likely to comply. [Read: How to subtly make someone feel guilty and sense the pain they caused you]

Fear is also a powerful emotion. Think about all the political advertisements that say or imply that “if you vote for this candidate, then they will get us into a nuclear war!” Okay, that’s a slight exaggeration, but you get the point. 

The point is that if you play on someone’s emotions, it’s very easy to persuade them. However, it can be abused and not ethical if you do it in a negative way.

2. Logic

On the opposite end of the spectrum, you can also persuade people if you use logic and rationality. It’s another good way to get inside someone’s mind. While it’s easier to persuade them using emotion, some people aren’t as easily “fooled” by people trying to prey upon their emotions.

In this case, you should appeal to their logical side. For example, let’s say you have a married couple and the wife thinks they need a new car, but the husband doesn’t think they do. But the wife has her heart set on buying a brand new expensive car. In order to persuade her husband, she would have to appeal to his logical side. [Read: Psychological manipulation – 16 signs and tactics real manipulators use]

In order to do this, she should point out the fact that the car gets really good gas mileage, it has a 100,000-mile warranty, and the monthly payment wouldn’t make them go broke. Those are all logical reasons. He might be convinced by those points.

You see, if she had used the emotional strategy to get him to agree to buy a new car, then she might have pointed out how safe the car is for their children. If they are in an accident, the chances of them being injured or killed are really low. Or, she could say how other people will admire them for the kind of car they have. Those are all emotional reasons to buy a car.

Logical and rational messages are good for persuading someone who is a logical, rational person. However, if someone is more emotional in nature, then the emotional approach will have a greater impact on them. [Read: 18 Signs of a manipulative woman that can leave you lost and confused]

3. Your character

The last way you can get inside someone’s mind and persuade people is by them admiring who you are. If that sounds confusing, don’t worry. It’s actually pretty simple.

Think about when you were in high school. If one of your best friends tried to convince you that it was a good idea to go throw eggs at a car for fun, you might think about doing it. Why? Because you love, admire, and respect your best friend. Their opinion matters to you.

But if someone you hate – your “enemy” – tried to persuade you to do the same thing, you would automatically refuse to do it? Why? Because you don’t like that person. Why would you ever let them persuade you to do something? [Read: How to be charming – 15 adorable habits of really likable people]

Now, in this example, let’s say that you wouldn’t normally think of doing something like egging a car. And that’s why it’s kind of difficult for anyone to persuade you to do it. So, the more you like and trust someone, the more likely it is that you will be persuaded by them. The less you like someone, the less likely it is that you will be convinced.

That is the reason why advertisers use celebrity spokespeople in their advertisements. If a famous movie star, sports figure, or singer gets on TV and tells you that you should eat more McDonald’s hamburgers or wear a certain cologne, people are more likely to do that – just because they like the person who is telling them to do it.

So, you can see how likeability is an essential thing when it comes to persuading people.

As you can see, these three ways of persuading people are all very powerful in their own way. If you want to get into someone’s mind and persuade them, you will have to figure out which one of these they will respond to the most. But keep in mind that you don’t have to use just one of these approaches. A combination of all three is the best – if you can figure out how to do it. [Read: How to talk to people in a charming way not matter who they are]

Other tips for how to persuade people and get inside their mind

If you have a persuasive friend, watch them and you’ll be able to see that they have some of these qualities that’ll be listed below.

Persuasive people aren’t from special creation, they just know how to pull the right strings and know the right things to say. So, this is something that can be learned. If you want things to go your way, this is how to persuade people.

1. Have confidence

If you want to know how to persuade people, you won’t be doing it if you’re unsure of what to say, if you think you’re not attractive enough, or if you think no one will listen to you. Because you’re right.

If you believe that about yourself, it’s going to show. Persuasive people are confident, and that’s why people listen to them. They’re leaders. [Read: How to build self-confidence – 16 ways to realize you’re worth it]

2. Really listen

Another way to get into someone’s mind is to listen – but like actually listen. Sure, persuasive people may be charismatic and charming, but don’t think their ears are clogged with their own thoughts.

It’s rather the opposite. They’re highly in tune with what people have to say because that’s how they gauge their audience’s emotional and mental state. So, if you’re not a good listener, learn to become one.

3. Build relationships

Persuasive people are highly likable. You want to be their friend and they’ll never shut you out from obtaining that relationship.

If someone isn’t emotionally invested in a persuasive person, then they won’t be able to persuade them. Be the guy. [Read: How to be more social – 19 ways to genuinely connect with others]

4. Know when to shut up

They’re not going to fight every battle. In fact, persuasive people know which battles to enter and which ones to walk away from.

Persuasive people aren’t the ones to argue with people until they give in. That’s not the strategy… instead, go silent.

5. Back off sometimes

If you appear too desperate, you won’t be able to persuade. People can smell desperation a mile away, and urgency never gets people on your side.

You have to know when to back off and give people their space to think things over. If you don’t, you’ll lose the persuasion battle. [Read: Emotional manipulation – How people mess with your mind]

6. Don’t push

People who are pushy are never going to win over anyone. Have you ever been to a store where the clerk won’t leave you alone?

You probably decided to just walk out instead of going through the shop. They suffocate you. If you want to persuade, you can’t be pushy.

7. Sound secure

Whether you’re trying to sell something or get people to join you on a belief, you have to know what you’re talking about. Now, you can’t sound like a know-it-all… that’s arrogance. And that’s another thing people can’t stand.

However, you should know your product, and have the answers ready to make even a 12-year-old understand what you’re trying to convey.

8. Be empathetic

Empathy, in essence, is getting inside someone else’s mind and feeling what they feel. Persuasive people are empathetic. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t be able to relate to their audience and they wouldn’t be able to persuade anyone.

If you want to know how to persuade people and get into their head, you have to be able to understand where they’re coming from and what they need. [Read: Useful life tips – 9 sure ways to be a lot more charismatic instantly]

9. It’s all about timing

Timing is crucial. Will you be trying to persuade someone who just lost their dog? No. It’s all about timing. You need to figure out who you’re going to persuade and choose the best time to do it. It could be over some drinks or while you’re walking your dog.

10. Speak the same language

This ties into empathy. If the person you’re trying to persuade likes to swear a lot, you blend yourself into the way they talk. If they talk with a formal tone, you talk with a formal tone. Match them. Become them.

11. Don’t knock people down

First of all, that’s generally a lame power tactic. Knowing how to persuade people isn’t about making them feel beneath you.

It’s about making them feel that they can accomplish something great. If you make fun of them or knock their self-esteem, well, you’re an amateur.

12. Know who to persuade

Everyone can be persuaded. However, some people you won’t be able to persuade in the short term. What you have to do is spot the people who can be persuaded at that time.

Then after that, you can focus on those who will take a longer time to persuade. [Read: 9 ways men manipulate and control their girlfriends]

13. Be honest

Persuasive people have no problem telling you the truth about yourself. In fact, it works in their favor, as you’ll then see them as honest and genuine people, which means you’ll open up to them and trust them. See how that goes? You’ve probably had a couple of those experiences happen to you.

14. Be persistent

Persistence pays off, that’s for sure. Persuasive people will usually stick to their gut and keep going for what they want.

They’ll show their worth and their hunger for something which makes them highly persuasive. So, if you see something you want, just keep biting at it to get into their mind.

15. Reciprocate

Now, persuasive people aren’t throwing themselves out on a limb and doing things for you that are really above and beyond.

But they know when to give in a relationship, and when to ask for something back. Any kind of relationship should have an equal balance of give and take, and persuasive people know this truth.

16. Make that person interested

Persuasive people love themselves, and they’ll listen to anyone who is talking about them. So, to be persuasive, you have to be able to talk about that person. That way, you’ll get their attention immediately, and they’ll be interested in the conversation.

17. Nod or shake your head

Want someone to agree with anything you say? Just keep nodding your head up and down as you say whatever it is you want to say. They won’t even realize it, but they’ll find themselves agreeing with you.

On the other hand, want to convey a negative idea that you want to be declined? Just shake your head left and right as you suggest it, and presto, they’ll realize it’s a bad idea too!

18. Try to make them think it’s their idea

This strategy isn’t always easy, but it’s ridiculously effective. Think about it. When you have your own idea, you automatically like it, right?

But when someone else suggests something, you might have to think about it a lot more.

So, if you can get the other person to think the idea is their own, then you will probably succeed in persuading them almost 100% of the time.

[Read: How to hold a conversation and make people love talking to you]

Now that you know how to persuade people and get inside someone’s mind, put these steps into use. It’s actually not that hard, you just need to keep your ears and eyes open, know your target, and shoot.

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Carol Morgan LP
Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...