Friendships and relationships are hard work. If you notice that you’re being pushed away in a relationship, perhaps it’s time to stop trying.
People are fickle creatures. One minute we’re happy, the next we’re not. One minute we think one thing, the next we’ve changed our minds. It’s no wonder that friendships and relationships are so confusing, especially when you feel like you’re being pushed away in a relationship!
While there are obvious differences between romantic relationships and friendships, sometimes the rules merge. For instance, if you believe you’re being pushed away in a relationship, it could be a romantic partner or a long-term friend, the situation remains the same. This person is moving away from you for whatever reason. It’s painful to experience.
It’s easy to hang on to this connection because this person means a lot to you. Hanging on to someone that doesn’t want to be there is like waiting for an airplane at a sea port… it’s not going to work.
The only thing you can do is look for the obvious and subtle signs you’re being pushed away in a relationship and figure out how you feel about it. If it’s worth fighting for, talk about it, find out what’s going on. However, if you simply feel that the connection has run its course, whether it’s a friendship or something more, say goodbye and simply move on.
Sometimes people aren’t meant to stay in our lives, they’re only meant to be there for a short time. It’s hard to realize this and even harder to walk away, but hanging on will only cause you more pain.
Signs you’re being pushed away in a relationship: What to do about it
To help you recognize whether this is a situation going on in your life, let’s check out nine clear signs you’re being pushed away by someone. Perhaps they feel the relationship or friendship has simply run its course.
#1 They don’t seem to want to be around you as much as before. Before you jump to conclusions, there are a few other reasons why this might be the case. For instance, they’re stressed out at work or have family problems that they just don’t want to unload onto you. You shouldn’t see this one sign and assume the worst. You should monitor it and see where it goes.
While this is happening, reach out to your friends and spend more time with them, or even spend a little time alone and focus on yourself. It will either right itself and the situation will naturally resolve, or it will become apparent that they feel you’re no longer supposed to be close. [Read: Are you losing a friend or just drifting apart?]
#2 It takes far longer for them to return your calls and messages. Whether a lover or a friend, it’s super annoying when someone who always used to return your calls quickly or messages you back suddenly starts doing the opposite.
#3 The fun seems to have gone. In both relationships and friendships, there is a certain banter. It’s about ‘in’ jokes and things that you both just ‘get’. When they wane, it’s time to sit up and take notice. You can’t be close to someone if the connection has suddenly gone cold. In that case, you should either talk to your lover or friend and work out what’s happening.
But, when combined with some of the other signs you’re being pushed away by someone, accept the situation and simply move on.
#4 You just feel differently around them. Do you get a vibe that something isn’t quite right? Do you feel that they’re beside you but don’t really want to be? Again, that’s another of the big signs you’re being pushed away in a relationship. You might feel that something is missing or that they’re simply there in body but not in spirit.
Both friendships and relationships need both sides to be present in the moment. When it’s not happening, question why. Again, don’t panic if it’s just a one or two time thing, because it could be down to something else. But don’t ever underestimate your gut feeling or the vibe you get from a situation more than once. [Read: When your best friend ignores you – The why and ways to fix it]
#5 The affection has disappeared. This is more for romantic relationships than friendships. However, if you’re not feeling a general warmth from your friend, the same applies. In relationships, it’s often the physical closeness that disappears first. If everything has gone cold, quite literally, think about why that could be. Initiate a little intimacy yourself and see what happens. If the coldness continues, it’s not a good sign.
Let’s be honest, you don’t deserve a relationship that’s cold and unloving. It’s hard to experience because you wonder what happened, especially if everything was fine before. If over a period of time it continues, it’s one of the sure and solid signs you’re being pushed away by this person. [Read: 10 steps to help you reignite the lost spark in your relationship]
#6 You feel like they’re simply doing things to start an argument. When you’re not happy to be around someone anymore *sorry, that sounds harsh, but it’s the truth*, you put roadblocks in the way.
They could ignore or avoid you on purpose, or it could mean that they deliberately start an argument to have an excuse to leave. If this is happening, it’s a cowardly tactic. Again, you don’t deserve it. Be the bigger person, rise above it, and refuse to argue.
#7 They’re spending time with new people and not including you. This is probably one of the biggest signs you’re slowly being pushed away by a friend and one of the most painful. Suddenly you notice they seem to have a new circle of friends or becoming close to someone at work, it’s an indicator that they’re trying to move away from your company and surround themselves with others.
Again, it’s cowardly and unfair. It’s entirely possible to have other friends and still maintain a close connection with your old pals. And it’s entirely possible to have friends outside of a romantic relationship. In the future, they may look back and see this for themselves, but by that time you’ll probably have moved on. [Read: 14 signs your best friend isn’t a friend anymore]
#8 They seem very indifferent. When you stop caring about what’s going on in someone’s life and stop asking them about their day, it’s simply because you’ve moved on in your mind. Your body simply hasn’t caught up yet.
#9 You simply stop talking. This isn’t just about calls and messages taking longer to answer! It’s about just not sharing details with one another. You can pass the time and be pleasant to someone, but you’re not really talking.
Real communication is talking about your feelings, expressing your fears, and helping the other person to feel better when they’re down. If this isn’t happening, whether it’s a relationship or a friendship, it’s one of the major signs of being pushed away in a relationship, for sure.