If there was one thing I couldn’t stand when I was dating, it was texting. Sure, there were some great texters and kept the communication fluid, but then there were others who didn’t know how to keep a conversation going. If you’re in the second group, you probably want to learn how to be a better texter.
Now, face-to-face communication is always best, but texting does come in handy when there’s some separation. Sadly, I would judge some of my dates based on how they would text. If they weren’t interesting to talk to over text, I assumed they weren’t interesting in real life *which we all know isn’t true*.
How to be a better texter everyone loves texting with
As I got older, I became a worse texter because it became a nuisance for me. My thumbs would cramp, I was tired of typing out something I could say in thirty seconds. And slowly, I became a bad texter. My replies became shorter, and if I could, I would phone people instead.
[Read: How to step out and live your life to the fullest]
Not everyone communicates the same way, and it can cause a problem. You may want to talk on the phone while the other person would rather text or vice versa. So, it’s important to have the basic skills for different types of communication, including texting.
Maybe you think you’re not a great texter or have been told by someone. Though it may not be your type of communication, it’s time you learned how to be a better texter—an all-star texter.
#1 Respond. It’s fine if you forgot to reply, but if you aren’t replying because you don’t feel like it, it’s rude. No one likes being ignored. If you’re busy, let the other person know. At the very least, acknowledge the other person’s text message. Then reply to the message when you feel like it. [Read: Simple tips to keep you from being rude in any situation]
#2 Set clear expectations. If you’re starting to date someone and not a big texter, let them know. It’s important to let the other person have a clear understanding of how often you’ll text every day. If your job is very busy, let them know you can only reply during breaks. This will remove any anxious thoughts from the other person.
#3 Talk about texting with the person you’re texting. If this is someone you’re newly dating, it’s important they understand your text styling and what it means. It’s easy to misinterpret things via text, so they should be aware of your style and what it means. Maybe you’re someone who loves to use emojis, but they don’t. [Read: Follow these 12 texting habits in the early stages of dating]
#4 Initiate the conversation. If the person you text is always the one to start a conversation, why don’t you step out of your comfort zone and text them first? Don’t wait for someone to text you first if you want to talk to them.
If this is someone you’re interested in, I know you think you’re “playing the game.” But if you like someone, why play a game? Just text them if you want.
#5 Respect their boundaries. Sometimes we forget that there’s an actual person on the other side of the phone. So, we can overstep our boundaries without really thinking. But remember when the line is for yourself and for them. Sending a dick pic may not be the best way to strike up a conversation with someone you just went on a first date with. Get what I mean? A good texter is a respectful one.
#6 You can do better than a one-word response. If you aren’t interested in talking to the person who’s texting you, let them know this. Don’t torture yourself or them with one-word responses. Firstly, it’s rude. And secondly, why are you wasting your time on this person if you clearly don’t respect the conversation. Save yourself and them the hassle. [Read: Dry texting and the real reason behind those one-word text responses]
#7 Don’t talk deep over text. Don’t have any deep conversations over text message. This is what face-to-face contact is for. When you’re texting someone, you cannot see their facial expressions or hear their voice, and these are essential for deep or serious conversations. Keep your conversation via text light and easy. [Read: 15 text conversation starters for the shy that work like a charm]
#8 Text with a purpose. Sure, text them because you’re bored, but it won’t make for an interesting conversation. Instead, text the person because you have something to say. That’s really what makes someone an interesting texter; whether or not they bring something exciting to the table. If you want to know how to be a better texter, have something entertaining to talk about.
#9 Text because you want to. Here’s the thing, if you don’t want to talk to this person, the conversation won’t be fun for either of you. You need to want to text this person. The minute you want to talk to them, you invest yourself in the conversation. People can immediately see when someone doesn’t want to talk to them. [Read: How to not be a boring texter that bores anyone who texts you]
#10 Use GIFs. With texting comes GIFs, so you might as well use them. Sometimes you won’t have anything to say, but you just want to talk to this person. Send them a funny GIF. It makes any conversation suddenly more interesting.
#11 Meet in person. Texting is a great tool to use when you’re not with this person, but remember it’s not a replacement for face-to-face contact. Always keep in mind when you text someone, have a goal to move the text conversation to a real face-to-face one. [Read: These positive personality traits can change your life forever]
#12 Know when to call. Some conversations can stay on text, and it’s perfectly fine. But then there’s a time when you should pick up the phone and talk. If it’s taking hours to agree where to eat or your conversation is becoming more intense, just call them instead.
[Read: How to start a conversation over text and keep it going]
And that’s pretty much all it takes to know how to be a better texter! If you find you’re still not where you want to be with texting, relax. This isn’t a race; it takes time. Just pay attention to the way you text, and use these tips to keep the conversation going.
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