Revenge Sex: My Own Experience and Everything I Learned from It

Have you ever had revenge sex? Revenge sex may be the perfect payback for a cheating lover, but you need to know a few things about how it works first.

revenge sex

Revenge sex is one of the sweetest ways to get back at a straying lover.

It’s like hitting two birds with one stone.

You get back at your horny lover.

And you get to have sex with someone you have a crush on.

Sounds fair, right?

I mean, after all, your cheating partner deserves it, don’t they?

What is revenge sex really?

How did you feel the last time you caught your partner cheating on you with someone else?

Did you feel like a complete idiot for being so loyal and truthful while your lover was making out with someone else?

Did you wish you could have cheated on your partner just to show your partner how much it hurts?

Now after catching your partner, if you did have sex with someone else just to get even with your partner, then that’s the clear definition of revenge sex.

Experiencing revenge sex firsthand

I am a nice guy, and have always been loyal in my actions. But after four years of being in love with a girl, I caught her cheating on me. With my best friend! [Read: What do you do when your drunk girlfriend kisses another guy?]

I was furious. And as soon as I found out the truth, I avoided her and her calls. She cried and begged me to take her back. But I was mad with rage. Really, she was banging my best friend behind my back *now ex best friend* and that made me feel so stupid.

After a lot of failed persuasion, she said she’d do anything to get me back and that she was really sorry.

And then she said something shocking. She told me she’d convince her best friend to sleep with me so we can get even. Her friend was really hot and I’ve always liked her. I pretended like that idea was ridiculous and out of question, but almost immediately I was quickly aroused by the whole idea. [Read: What should you do when you start liking someone else?]

After a while of fake negotiation, I agreed to it.

I had wild, passionate sex with her best friend who was more than willing to help my girlfriend get back with me *surprise surprise!*.

My girlfriend’s friend and I had sex, and then I got back with my own girlfriend. But then, I realized that I didn’t get back with my girlfriend because I loved her. I got back because it was an irresistible deal. I used my girlfriend to sleep with her best friend.

I had always loved my girlfriend and couldn’t believe I had stooped so low. I was never the kind of guy who’d go sleeping with someone else just like that.

Passionate revenge sex at its best

The revenge sex was a high that I just can’t explain. It felt powerful and made me feel good again. But once I had revenge sex, I knew that things could never be the same again. I didn’t love my girlfriend anymore. In fact, it pushed me away from her. The whole negotiation to have sex with her friend made me feel sick in my throat.

Cheating was one thing, but revenge sex felt like premeditated murder!

If you’re swapping partners or swinging, that’s on mutual consent to explore new sexual options. On the other hand, revenge sex is different.

Revenge sex is only a way to satiate your ego and to nurse your ego and confidence back. It’s only a sneaky way to bring the balance back in the game of love. She cheated, so I had to cheat, even if I didn’t intend to. [Read: Affairs in a relationship and the games both your egos play in it]

3 things I learnt after having revenge sex

#1 People can stoop to any extent to get back what they had. My girlfriend wanted me back, so she was willing to do anything just to get me back.

#2 You’d do anything to get your ego back. When you’re cheated on by your partner, you feel shattered and your ego is bruised. You may not realize what you want, but somewhere deep, all you’d want is revenge and payback. And what better way than revenge sex.

#3 Most of us just need to find a good excuse to cheat. I didn’t want to cheat on my girlfriend, but when an opportunity presented itself, I couldn’t help but get aroused. How many of us can stay away from temptation when it so willingly comes your way?

Not too long ago, an attractive friend of mine caught her boyfriend cheating on her. She ended up having sex with another guy who liked her and had a huge crush on her for a long time. And she did that the very night she got to know her boyfriend had been cheating. [Read: 25 reasons behind why women cheat so easily]

It’s shocking how we throw all the love away in a moment of haste just to balance the egos and reassure yourself that you can do anything your partner does, if you choose to. Revenge sex is your way of telling yourself that you can get anyone you want if you choose to. You don’t need your partner anymore.

Making out with someone else just to get revenge is just a game of egos and dominance in the relationship.

People who indulge in revenge sex don’t do it out of love. They do it out of hate. You’d want to hurt your partner for hurting you, wouldn’t you?

Revenge sex doesn’t make things even. It only pushes both of you apart. If what you feel is hate instead of sadness, then your relationship is based on egos and dominance instead of love.

Love hurts, it doesn’t hate. [Read: Reasons behind why love hurts so much when it goes bad]

Secret revenge sex

Revenge sex is far more common than you think. In fact, it’s the first thought that comes to anyone’s mind if they’re capable of getting attention from anyone they want.

Go ahead and have revenge sex if it makes you feel better. If you don’t have sex with someone else, you may end up feeling bitter because your partner got to experience a lusty fantasy while you get the attention but don’t do anything about it. And once you have sex with someone else, feel good and forget all about it. Don’t tell your partner about it and make sure they don’t ever get to know about it later. [Read: Should you ever confess to cheating on your partner?]

This is a risky call, but this road is the most common one taken by many lovers. Most people just end up having revenge sex, feeling better about it and end up forgiving their partner too. By cheating, the power is back to neutral in the relationship again.

This is definitely not the right way to go about it, but go ahead if you can’t hold yourself back. You may hate yourself for it, but at least you got even in love, right?

[Read: I cheated on my boyfriend and feel a lot better now]

A better alternative to revenge sex

Forgive your partner. It’s a better alternative.

Or end the relationship. It’s the other alternative.

I did love my girlfriend a lot. And I would have forgiven her after a few days. It was only my crushed ego that made me feel weak and small, because I felt smaller than another guy who got to sneak in and have sex with my girlfriend behind my back. Perhaps, had I not slept with my girlfriend’s friend, we would still have been in a happy relationship.

But now, the relationship is over because I realized the shocking things I could do just to get even. It made me understand that ego was too deeply involved in my relationship to ever have a blissfully happy love life with my girlfriend. [Read: The good and bad sides of cheating and not cheating]

An eye for an eye

We’ve heard this line before. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

When I first had sex with my girlfriend’s best friend, all I thought was, “so what if the world goes blind, at least I get my revenge!”

But now, all blind and lost without love, I wish I could have saved my eye. Revenge sex with my girlfriend’s best friend was fun, but it was never worth losing sight of the bigger picture. [Test: Will you ever cheat on your partner?]

Have revenge sex if you must, but try to understand the foundation of your relationship and think about what matters and what you really want from the relationship. It’ll make all the difference to your next step.

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Anonymous Fella
Anonymous Fella
An unnamed guy with a great story and an idea to share, the Anonymous Fella is the secret voice that wants to be heard, but prefers to be masked under anonymity...