As painful and burdensome as the agony of ending a first love may seem, know this, you are not alone.
We’ve all been there, and as painful as it may feel today, it will all pass and you’ll feel a lot better and happier sooner than you think.
If you want to get over your first love, don’t try to forget it. Instead, cherish it and you’ll find it easier to get over it.
10 steps to get over your first love
As painful as the scar of first love may seem, it will heal. Just follow these 10 steps and you’ll definitely feel better and get over your first love too.
#1 It’s your first love. First experiences are always special and memorable. Don’t hate it or try forgetting it. It’s an experience that’s worth holding on to. The pain may be fresh in your heart today. But soon, you’ll forget all about it as long as you let the wound heal naturally.
A first love is like the first time you travelled to a new city, or graduated, or any other special first time. You remember your first times because it’s a special moment, but the details start to get hazy over time. And just like that, your first love will start to fade and get hazy too. But the harder you try to forget it, the longer it’ll stick to your mind. [Read: How to know if you’re really in love with someone]
#2 It’s not the end of the world. Yes, it hurts. But guess what, you’re still alive and kicking. Getting over a heartbreak is all in your own head. If you can make up your mind to stand up and face the world, you’ll find it easier to cope with the pain.
You had a lot of best friends in your lifetime. But see how you’ve moved away from most of them over the years? Love works the same way too.
#3 Get help from your friends. You’re probably too young for a rebound relationship. But after a break up, your friends can definitely play a big part in your recovery. Spend time with them or speak to a trusted friend about how you feel. Sometimes, even talking about it can help you feel better. [Read: 15 rebound relationship signs to watch out for]
But just a word of caution, don’t overuse the assistance of your friends or throw them around or yell at them like it’s their fault. Your friends are being nice enough to help you. Don’t make them hate you by taking them for granted.
#4 Keep yourself occupied. This is important. Distract yourself from your first love by doing things you really enjoy. Your first heartbreak can feel like critical illness. You’ll feel like you can never get back on your feet again. It’ll feel bad, but you’ll feel better sooner than you think. Don’t be alone if you can. And do whatever it takes to keep your mind distracted from your first love.
#5 Don’t try to get back with your partner. Your first love doesn’t always have to be the true love of your life. Your fairytale romance may come along later in your life. As a young lover, you may assume that you have to spend the rest of your life trying to win your ex back because that’s the way things work in the movies. But this is real life.
If you’ve been dumped, ask your ex to reconsider their decision once if you can’t help yourself. But if it doesn’t work out, don’t ever try getting back with an ex. You’ll never be able to move on. [Read: Signs your ex is still thinking about you]
#6 Look at it as a learning lesson. The first love may have had a sad ending, but you know what, almost everyone’s first love has a sad ending. But at the same time, it teaches you more about relationships and what it takes to have a great relationship. Look at your breakup as a learning lesson and feel good about the experience instead of hating it.
#7 Pick flaws. Now that the relationship is over, spend a few days immediately after breaking up recollecting where things went wrong in your first relationship. Why was your lover upset with you? What did you hate most about your partner? By analyzing your first failed relationship, it’ll help you understand what kind of partner you need, and also more about where you went wrong in love. [Read: 25 relationship rules for successful love]
#8 Avoid your ex. I know you can’t even think of this, but right now you’re in a state of addiction. You think you need your ex, but yet, you know that even looking at your ex lover will only make you feel worse. It’s a vicious cycle.
So instead of looking for ways to hear your ex’s voice or see them again, try to avoid them. No peeking at your ex’s facebook pages, twitter account, or even googling. Nothing at all. Completely avoid your ex. The first day or two can make you feel a hundred times more miserable, but within a week of completely avoiding your ex, you’ll feel a lot better and realize that life can go on happily even after a break up. [Read: How to stop thinking about someone you still like]
#9 Understand what love is. Now that you’ve been in a relationship for the first time, you now know what love is. Until you actually fall in love with someone, you’d never really know what all the fuss is about. Now that you know the bliss love brings and the pain it inflicts when it’s taken away, learn to be more careful about the lovers you choose. [Read: How to love again after being hurt]
#10 You’ll get over it. Time heals everything. You may feel like the world’s collapsing on you right now. But trust me, it will all pass. The pain may hurt you a lot for a week or two, but if you try your best to get over it by using these tips, you’ll be able to overcome the pain and move on, a better person.
Use these tips on how to get over your first love and you’ll feel better soon. You don’t really need to erase the memory of your first love. You just need the strength to get over it and move on. After all, you can always cherish a memory without getting affected by it.
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Alison Ricard loves sunshine, good books and contagious laughter. And when she isn’t writing, you’ll find her sitting in a café, people watching and commun...