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How to Cry and Let It All Out: 13 Tips for Some Good Cry Therapy

Life can be hard, and the pressure too much to handle. You don’t need to keep it locked inside of you. Learn how to cry and let it all out.

how to cry and let it all out

Crying helps rebalance your hormones and alleviates built-up stress in your body. If you’re heading to therapy, your therapist will work on helping you to release your emotions in a positive way, which includes crying. So, here are some tips on how to cry and let it all out to get you started.

Maybe I’m biased, but I’m a huge advocate for therapy. Of course, you can talk to your friends and family, but going to a third person, someone who knows nothing about you, is a great way to sort through your problems without prejudice. If you go to therapy, you already know the importance of crying. If you’re new to this, well, let me tell you, it’s good to cry. [Read: Ready for some tears? 20 movies that will make you cry]

How to cry and let it all out

This doesn’t mean you need to wait until your next therapy session. There are things you can do to help you to cry and release some tension. Sometimes, we’re so used to keeping everything inside of us that when it comes to being vulnerable and showing emotion, we clam up and block ourselves. [Read: How to make yourself cry – 10 techniques to get you crying]

Now, there is a time and a place for crying. Perhaps it’s not an appropriate time to show emotion. However, at some point, you should let your emotions go. So, if crying doesn’t come easily to you, don’t worry. There are some things to do to get yourself teary-eyed. Let’s get those waterworks going, people!

#1 It’s scientifically backed. A study found that though people generally decrease in mood right after crying. Around 90-minutes after, people report feeling better than they did prior to crying. This is the first study to show a direct correlation between crying and mood improvement. You can’t argue with science! [Read: The scientific answers for why you’re so emotional]

#2 Forget what people told you about crying. Many people think crying is a sign of weakness, and if you cry, you’re less of a person. However, that’s all a giant lie. This whole “boys don’t cry” ideology is actually emotionally and mentally destroying you.

It’s healthy to cry, it’s healthy to feel emotions. If it wasn’t healthy to cry, the human body wouldn’t be designed with this ability. [Read: 19 inspiring male feminist ideas from around the world]

#3 Why do you hold it in? Before you cry, it’s important to reflect to why you’re unable to cry. Why do you hold it in? Is it because you think you’ll be seen as weak? Do you struggle to express your feelings in general? Finding out why you don’t cry helps you overcome these issues. Once you accept and move past this, you can work on learning how to cry.

#4 Find a safe place to cry. Now, this safe place could be anywhere. Maybe you’re the safest in your kitchen, bedroom, or at your therapist’s. Wherever it is that you feel safe, it should be the place where you allow yourself to let go.

Most of us refrain from crying because we don’t feel comfortable, so make yourself comfortable. If you’re concerned about people hearing you, put music on or take a shower. [Read: 8 ways to get your “me time” in amidst a hectic schedule]

#5 Get focused. Some people cry regardless of where they are, but if you struggle with crying, then you need to get yourself focused. If you’re wondering how to cry and let it all out, start by clearing your head from any distractions. If the TV is on, turn it off. Don’t text your friends or talk on the phone. Instead, just spend some alone time with yourself, but complete alone time.

#6 What’s making you want to cry? You need to focus on what’s causing your feelings of sadness, frustration, and anger. It could be anything, but you know exactly why you’re pushing down these emotions. It’s time to focus on these moments which cause you sadness and focus on how much these situations negatively affect you. [Read: How to find your healing and happiness again]

#7 Start talking about your emotions more openly. Crying is about connecting with your emotions. However, many people are completely out of touch with their emotions. It could also be that you’ve become so used to pushing your emotions down, that you don’t recognize them anymore. Make a conscious effort to start talking about how you feel using phrases like “i feel”, i am”, “it feels”, “I felt”. Then, say the feeling; “I feel sad”, “I feel used”, “I feel angry”. The more you do this, the more you’ll connect with your emotions. You’ll also find it helps you learn how to cry over time too.

#8 Your body is going to react. You’ll feel your body react. Everyone is different, so it could be the feeling of heat or trembling. It depends on the person. But you will most likely feel your throat tighten, which is a sign your emotions are swelling inside of you. This is when you allow your emotions to overcome you instead of fighting this feeling your experiencing. [Read: Take care of yourself emotionally and avoid falling apart]

#9 Let it all out. Once you start crying, don’t stop. Cry and let it all out. Typically, the average length of a solid crying session is six minutes. Now, don’t set the timer on your phone; let yourself cry it out for as long as you like. Your crying session may only last a couple of minutes, while for others it could last longer. It really depends on you.

#10 You’re not going to feel better right away. After you cry, don’t assume that you’ll automatically feel like a million dollars. You need to give it around 90 minutes after you cry before you feel a difference. However, you’ll most likely feel emotionally and mentally lighter. If you’re harboring a lot of emotions, it may take a couple of sessions before you feel better. [Read: 19 signs of emotional damage and ways to get past them]

#11 Use emotional triggers. If you’re unable to cry on your own, try using emotional triggers such as sad films, moments in your life, or emotional music. They can help you trigger your emotions. If you don’t know what your triggers are, well, give it a try. Watch a sad movie like Blue Valentine, Marley and Me, Titanic, or Schindler’s List.

#12 Remember to reflect. It’s easy to cry but harder to reflect on your emotions and think about why you’re crying and what causes you stress. When you feel better after your cry, you’ll think you’re completely relieved. Don’t assume that you’ve figured everything out just yet. Reflect, reflect, reflect. [Read: Are you an empath? The signs you feel more deeply than others]

#13 Use crying in moderation. At the end of the day, regardless of what it is, you want to do things in moderation. This also includes crying. Too much crying makes you feel hopeless. However, crying can be used to process your emotions and move on from them.

Monitor when your crying oversteps the line and when it becomes too much. Everyone is different, so see where those boundaries are for you.

[Read: Living on an emotional coaster and stuck on an unhealthy ride?]

Now that you know how to cry and let it all out, give some of these tips a try. Crying helps you reduce your stress, rebalance your hormones, and makes you feel better.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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