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How to get your Man to Open Up

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How do you get your man to open up and talk more about his feelings, and not close up all the time? Unlike women, men don’t like opening up to questions, especially if they’re scared of how you’ll react to their answers.

Click here to read the introduction: Questions you should Never ask your Man!

How to get your Man to Open Up

In the introduction, you’ve read about those happy questions that men absolutely hate. So if someone comes by and tells you to pop those happy questions when he’s least expecting them, because this is the only way to really find out if he loves you, don’t listen to them.

For god’s sake, it’s easy for a man to say the answer you want to hear all the time.

The next time you ask him why he fell in love with you (for the umpteenth time), he might stare into your beautiful eyes and say “For the great person you are.”

Now is that really going to make you feel better?

Or would it have been better if he said something remotely closer to the truth like, “You were the best looking girl I ever knew, and your boobs rocked my world! I wanted to ride you real bad!”

Sounds crude doesn’t it? But now ask yourself, knowing your man, which of these two answers are more convincing?

So if you really want to get him to open up and know about your man’s feelings, then stop popping the same questions again and again, woman. How many times do you want to hear the same answer?

Or are you just hoping that it’ll change, and one day, at long last, you can catch him as he blurts out something wrong! Perhaps you are. Perhaps that’s why men feel so awkward when they come face to face with those ‘nails’.

The Toothpicks

Now these are things that men don’t dislike. These are softer and more nicer versions of those dreaded nails. These ‘toothpick’ questions convey the same question, but in a straightforward manner.

In a way that your man would not feel threatened, and yet, would love talking about them. This way, you can still know whether he still loves you, if that’s what you want to know in the first place.

The ‘toothpick’ questions are less like questions and more like discussions. Here, you would pop the question and add in a few lines of the answer too. This takes the pressure off your man, and at the same time, gives him the opportunity to add in a few lines, now that he knows what you’re thinking.

Toothpick questions

Do you ever wonder how our lives would be if we hadn’t met? I can’t even image what I’d be doing, maybe I’d be a scuba diver, or I dunno… dating someone else?… Gosh, I have no idea! What about you?

Just imagine a genie popped up and granted you three wishes, what would you ask for? I would ask for…

Do you remember how much we used to hold hands when we first met? We wouldn’t even let go of each other. We were like little rabbits, weren’t we? I wonder why we don’t do that anymore.

The best approach to get him to open up

Now do you get it? The toothpick questions were simpler and more involved. Your man doesn’t have to feel like he’s in the hot seat anymore. It’s more like a discussion rather than a questionnaire.

The ‘toothpick’ questions involve him a lot more, and he does what he does best, gives suggestions and solutions. Men actually enjoy these questions, and would love to go on talking about the sensitive issues that they would otherwise avoid. So the best thing that you should do is to involve your man in a discussion rather than force him into one.

And if you’re still not convinced, then just tell him directly about what you want. As much as women undeniably love putting up an act or sulking, men just wouldn’t understand it, and the both of you would just end up getting frustrated and annoyed.

So give your man a break and let him have a chance to share the experience of love with you, instead of choking him with confusing “fun” questions.

Very soon, you’d probably get him to open up and find him initiating a conversation about your relationship and the happy moments you’ve had together. All this, just as long as you avoid nailing the hell out of him!


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Have your say!
  • Kris Smythe
    January 9, 2012 | Permalink |

    I asked my husband these questions and all he said was “I dunno…”

  • Luese
    October 12, 2013 | Permalink |

    Thank you for this post, my partner and I fight every second day because I always have a question to ask him regarding our love and relationship. I thought I was being smart to catch him with the wrong answers,. And he always say ‘don’t ask too many questions or you’ll get too many lie’ and then I’d start saying ‘so you’re lying, you don’t mean what you said!’ And it goes on.. I didn’t know this is a typical male reaction and my man does not have any ‘understanding’ issues as I thought. Thanks again for this post.

  • sorcha
    May 18, 2014 | Permalink |

    I need to try this with my potential crush, Aiden. We made a bet that I could get him to open up by the end of the week. Fingers crossed that this will help!

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