The irony and cruelty of who we are attracted to never ceases to escape me. I was five feet eight in sixth grade, no lie… seriously. I either went to every school dance by myself or just dealt with the fact that every guy I could go with was about two feet shorter than me. So, I understood the conundrum—does height really matter in a relationship?
When I see couples where the girl towers over the guy, I am not going to lie. I think two things. First, I think she must hold supremacy over him out of sheer height. The second is “wow,” she must have a healthy sense of self to be secure enough to walk around with someone smaller than her.
Does height really matter in a relationship?
I have always found shorter men attractive. It is my type, which is where the irony comes in play. Every time I find myself with a shorter guy, it makes me feel awkward, larger than I should be, and to be super honest, out of place. So, if you were to ask me, I’d say height does matter in a relationship.
What I found myself doing in relationships where guys were either my height or shorter was either slouching, resolving to never wear high heels, or trying to appear not to be as tall as I really was. But, what about girls who tower over guys, like super tall girls and models? They almost have to be okay with being the taller one, or they have a very limited gene pool! [Read: 12 sizzling tips for couples with a height difference]
The science of the size matter
When you think about the science behind why it matters if a guy was taller than you or not, there are likely evolutionary reasons women want to be shorter. For the survival of the species, men should be the hunters and women the gatherers. But, it isn’t just about bringing home dinner, it is about protecting their family.
When I am out with a man, I like to think if push came to shove, he would protect me and keep me safe. Someone shorter than me just doesn’t give me the same confidence, whether realistic or not. I know some short guys much stronger than any six-foot man I’ve met.
For the same evolutionary reason, men tend to like women shorter than them. Wanting to be the stronger sex because that is the way that the genders were designed, men usually seek out shorter women because they have a height advantage over them. It makes them feel more powerful. In fact, I know many guys who like girls considerably shorter than them. The more height they have, the more powerful they feel. [Read: 15 reasons why you should date a petite girl]
Is it the same for both sides?
What I learned from experience is that a guy is more willing to date a girl taller than him than a girl is willing to date a guy shorter than her. Women are taught they are supposed to be petite. Dating a guy two inches shorter than you does anything but make you feel petite.
For guys, the same is typically not true. In fact, very powerful men of short stature almost always choose women taller. Simply because they are more beautiful and a status symbol in society.
So, I suppose the only time height matters in a relationship rests in the individual and their comfortability. A successful guy with a whole lot of prominence and power already feels powerful regardless of how tall his partner is. A successful man doesn’t need to prove his strength by how tall or short they are. They have different measures. [Read: Attraction theory – What makes you desirable to someone else?]
Why does height matter?
For a guy average in height and just working the day to day, finding a girl about their height or less might be comforting. It also helps them to define who they are and what place they hold, not just in the relationship, but also in society.
As for women, if you are super confident in yourself and know you are pretty and the perfect size, you don’t have to worry about the height of your partner. Feeling confident enough to walk tall in a crowd, having someone shorter than you, doesn’t make you appear larger. Supermodels are a perfect example. No one even cares how tall their significant other is. They fade into the background. [Read: Which type of attraction is vital for true love?]
The short and tall of it
If you consider asking out or staying with someone shorter or taller, and it makes you question whether you have the self-esteem to feel comfortable with it, only you can decide. If there are other drives in you making things not right based on height, it really doesn’t matter if other people think size matters. Only you answer that question for yourself. If you love someone for who they are on the inside, it makes no difference how tall or short they are.
In the end, we love people not for what they present on the outside, although important too. They might be larger than life on the inside regardless of what their “meat suit” shows to the outer world.
[Read: The 11 signs of emotional attraction and why it matters in a relationship]
Stop worrying does height really matter in a relationship and what others might think. In the end, the only one who lives with your significant other is you, so who cares what anyone else thinks!
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A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...
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