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Healthy Testicles: 7 Tests to Keep Your Balls in Check

healthy testicles - how to check your balls

Whether you have a history of testicular problems or not, it always pays to know how to check if your family jewels are in tiptop condition.

Ah, the “family jewels” – the biological hard drive for your progeny, and the literal sperm bank. Most guys are pretty sure they are completely familiar with their fun parts like the back of their hand, but in reality, our nuts feel so unloved and neglected that they probably feel like a 19th century orphaned boy.

Truth be told, since your balls don’t really elicit awesome sensations like your penis does, we tend to take them for granted. The attention it gets would be the occasional scratch and the shuffle when it camps in an uncomfortable part of your boxers.

Despite the popular pubescent apprehensions regarding constantly handling your genitals, it is extremely important to every male to know and examine their own body parts for the sake of their adult health. Genital diseases would tend to manifest at a later age, so an earlier detection could save your life, as well as your capability to produce offspring. As the popular saying goes, prevention is better than cure. And it is better to be accused of jerking off while showering than being a eunuch in your forties.

Why men should check their testicles regularly

One word: Cancer.

Cancer is just one out of many other genital-related diseases that could easily retire your reproductive capabilities and possibly endanger your life if left untreated. If you’re a sensible human being who would want at least a biological legacy or a sense of self-preservation, then it is your duty to regularly cup your pair and give them their due attention.

Aside from these, there are also cosmetic defects like rashes, warts, and inflammation that could seriously damage the appearance of your fun parts. I bet not wanting your genitals to look like a Lovecraftian nightmare in front of a potential sexual partner is motivation enough to take responsibility to check your balls every now and then.

How to check your balls

Checking your crown jewels should be done at an early age, preferably when the body has matured enough during early adulthood *17-years-old and onwards*. Regular examination is needed to take note of any changes that would gradually develop as you age, since lumps and bumps would not appear overnight. [Read: Big blue balls facts everyone’s gotta know]

#1 Check your balls during the night after a hot shower. During this time, the scrotum is most relaxed and tender, allowing you to better feel the insides. Remember to do this gently, and hold your precious crown jewels as if holding a baby chick.

#2 Examine one testicle at a time. Try to feel the general symmetry of each. This means that if one of them has a certain part that you can feel with your hands, the other should also feel the same. This would help you spot unusual features and differences in your testicles better than handling them both at the same time.

Here’s what you should expect to find in a normal sack:

– Your scrotum. The loose bag of skin that covers your testicles. The skin is normally saggy and wrinkled when relaxed, and firm and puffy when cold. The skin should appear normal, and any blotches, discoloration, or roughness should be noted.

– Your testicles, of course. Each of your testicles should feel firm and springy like de-shelled quail egg, and also smooth on the surface. Lopsided testicles are actually normal in most males. No need to be alarmed, except if one of your nuts is about the size of a tennis ball and the other is the size of a quail egg, then that’s the time to book an appointment with your doctor.

– The epididymis. That soft and spongy rope-like structure that runs from the back of your balls upward towards the insides of your pelvic area. This carries the sperm from your testicles to your penis during ejaculation. [Read: 20 easy ways to keep your erection up for longer effortlessly]

#3 Take note of any lumps, bumps, and swelling that occurs. Bumps and swelling would often feel like there’s a grain of rice or a small pea embedded in your testicle. When this happens, note it down, and monitor any further changes – new lumps, increase in size, tingly sensations, etc. It’s important to remember that the bigger and more obvious the lump, the sooner you should see a specialist.

#4 Also check your scrotum. The scrotum should more or less look like the skin on the rest of your body, albeit a little bit wrinkled and hairy. Run your hand through it and look for rough or scaly patches, discoloration, rashes, redness, and other features that are uncomfortable or unusual. [Read: New body trends – plastic surgery for your genitals]

#5 Note any weird sensations. The most noticeable would be pain, constant itchiness, heaviness, or tingling. Male testicles are very sensitive to touch and temperature. That’s why a little ding and a slap on the groin would send you keeling over and rolling back to a fetal position.

It is also the reason why your balls shrink when you take a long, cold swim. Any dull or persisting pain in the lower abdomen and the testicular area should be noted, as well as changes in these sensations.

#6 Note unusual sensations during different types of activities. That is, activities involving your testicles. For example, record any pain that occurs when urinating, walking, sleeping, or during sex. This would help you with a diagnosis in case you would have to see a specialist in the future. [Read: What do women really think of a penis?]

#7 If you’re unsure, you could always see a specialist. A yearly visit to the urologist would be advisable. Your specialist can make a better judgment on your condition and also better inform you if the changes you mentioned should be a cause of alarm or just a normal, superficial change on your testicles.

Medical professionals could also give you advice on how to better take care of your testicles. They would usually advise annual prostate and testicular examination with increasing frequency as you grow older.

Your testicles are the ultimate sign of being a true man. The fact that insults meaning to question manliness translates verbally into statements implying the lack of testicles only proves this point. And that’s why it’s a man’s responsibility to keep track of any changes that would occur to the “family jewels.”

[Read: STDs 101 – the most common types and their symptoms]

Though at times we tend to be paranoid of the subtle changes in our bodies, no harm can come from paying a visit to your trusted urologist for a quick check-up on your testicles. By saving your balls, remember, you save the human race.

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Paul Timothy Mangay
Paul Timothy Mangay
Paul aka Morty is a keyboard-pounding cubicle-dweller based in Manila where he occasionally moonlights as a writer for anyone in need of his mediocre word-strin...
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5 thoughts on “Healthy Testicles: 7 Tests to Keep Your Balls in Check”

  1. Justin says:

    You know, this is something I’ve been thinking about for awhile and I never thought to try a

  2. wannabesuperhero says:

    I had a friend who died from testicular cancer so I make it a point to spread awareness to everyone. Always check your balls guys. If you notice any weird lump that wasn’t there before, HAVE IT CHECKED. You can’t wait for it to become worse. There are lots of people suffering from testicular cancer that are lucky to still be alive right now but wish that they didn’t get cancer. Cancer is stupid and the worst thing you can get because it will kill you slowly. I just wish scientists would find an instant cure for it so that people won’t have to endure cancer.

  3. Patrick says:

    The shower self check is definitely the best way to go about it, since your skin will be loose and ready to accommodate such a check. If you’re doing it in the blistering cold of winter, then that’s not a bad time either, since the shrinkage will usually help you give yourself a more thorough examination lol. But yeah, it’s such a simple check to do and could end up paying dividends in the long run in terms of a lifetime of better health and better prospects for a longer life.

  4. Jef says:

    I was born with two fine, working, sometimes itchy but otherwise healthy testicles. They hurt when kicked, got blue when severely neglected, and looked fantastic. Such is the vanity of Man, I suppose. I got my first Testicular cancer when I was 23, after I left the Marine Corps. I felt a lump, had it checked out, two days later I was half the man I used to be. Honestly life with one testicle was not that hard to adjust to. after the first few days, it did not even phase me, it was honestly the most normal thing on the planet. I had normal testosterone levels, was active in sports, even fathered our son two years ago. Nothing wrong, right?

  5. Lang says:

    Testicular cancer, I survived it in 94. The same thing Lance Armstrong (multiple Tour De France winner) had. Personally, I dont care for his public service announcements, making him sound like he did something great by surviving it. I was lucky enough to have the head of oncology at Chapel Hill, NC as my primary physician when I was admitted and he told me that there is a 95% cure rate. If it was 50/50 and Lance survived, that would be something. But not with a 95% cure rate. Anyway, I was diagnosed in mid 94 by a local doctor who told me that if I didn’t do something soon, I wouldn’t see Christmas (about 3 months away). I had lived with the symptoms for maybe 6 months. Hoping it was nothing serious and would go away on it’s own. (I didn’t know what it was at that time) Long story short, I was told that if the cancer had reached my kidney, there would be no stopping it. And about every inch up my ureter was a nodule. Well 4 rounds of chemo and 12 hours of surgery later, I walked out of the hospital. I never thought about my sex life afterward but in a way, this has made it better. Everything works fine for me. The only difference is that I have no discharge, and it takes a little while longer to reach ORGASM. But on a lighter note: Remember all those things you said you’d give your left ass for? Well, I did, and I’m still waiting. If you’re in this situation, don’t put it off. Get checked out. It won’t go away on it’s own. The symptoms are pain/swelling in one or both testicles. Usually it strikes men in their late 20’s to mid 30’s. Note: whatever side you lose, try carrying some spare change in the opposite pocket. It’ll balance you out and stop you from leaning…. lol

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