Many women have admitted to planning their big day even before finding the right guy. Men behave very differently. Only once they have determined that they have found their ideal woman will they even start thinking about settling down. Even then, it may take them years to finally pop the question. This can be very frustrating for women, especially those who sense their biological clock madly ticking away.
Sure he may say he loves you, but that alone is not an indication that being with you forever is part of his grand plans. There is no denying that if you poke and prod too hard, you may send him running off into the arms of the next sexy charlatan who comes along. [Read: 5 ways to know if you’re with an emotionally unavailable man]
Patience is key when it comes to getting married, not just for him but for you as well. You should never rush into it no matter how badly you want to have that dream wedding.
Even celebrities are not immune to waiting for a man to be ready. Hollywood megastar Harrison Ford made Calista Flockhart wait seven years before proposing to her. Even England’s Prince William dated Kate Middleton on and off for eight whole years before asking her to marry him. If Kate can do it, so can you!
14 ways to know if he wants to be with you forever
So how do you know if the man you’re with wants to marry you? Be on the lookout for these 14 signs below and it may give you an inkling into whether or not he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.
#1 He pampers you. Sure, being sweet can mean that he’s just a generally sweet guy. However, keep in mind that guys don’t pamper women whom they have no interest in being with. They can be pretty obvious in their ability to see the long term validity in treating their women like queens. If he makes the effort to make you happy and pamper the heck out of you, he definitely wants to keep you in his life.
#2 He hints at having kids. Whether he casually brings up having kids during a random conversation or dedicates an entire coffee date to this subject, if he hints at having kids then he is probably really serious about you. He may not say, “I want to have kids with you” but you can be sure that when your man is comfortable enough to talk to you about starting a family one day, he is unconsciously auditioning you for the role of wife and mother.
#3 He uses the word “we.” When a man peppers his sentences with ‘we’ instead of ‘me’, he already thinks of the two of you as a team. Whether it is referring to the present or far into the future, it’s always a good sign when he refers to you and him as a single entity. It means that he see himself going through life not as a swinging bachelor, but as your partner.
#4 He talks about the future. Another indication that he wants to marry you is if he speaks a lot about the future. Whether it is deciding where to spend Easter two years from now or whether you want to coordinate next year’s Halloween costume together, it’s always a good sign when he naturally assumes that you will still be in his life.
Not just that, you should revel in the fact that he wants you to play an active role in it. Once a man starts making future plans with you, it proves that he is very comfortable being with you and foresees himself sticking around.
#5 You share interests. Although they say that opposites attract, it’s more practical to end up with someone with shared interests. Whether it’s your shared love for Star Wars or obsession with base jumping, it’s always great when you find someone who enjoys the same things you do.
Weekends and holidays will not seem like someone is compromising or sacrificing what they want to do for their partner. Men tend to believe that common interests play a huge role in long-term relationship success.
#6 You share assets. Whether it is buying and sharing the new iPad Air or purchasing a home in both your names, sharing finances and assets is an obvious sign that he intends to keep you in his life for a while.
It could be something as serious as opening a joint checking account together or something simple yet meaningful like inviting you to go halfsies on his grandmother’s 80th birthday gift. This shows that you’re pretty much seen as a permanent fixture in his life.
#7 His family loves you. Do not underestimate the importance of being loved by his family, especially if he is close to them. Their opinions matter, and if they love you, there is a higher chance that he will want to make you a part of the family.
If you are a bitch to his mother or have on more than one occasion insulted his brother, you can be sure that they will not be forgiving you anytime soon and you can probably kiss that imaginary 2 carat ring goodbye. What the family thinks matters to a man. So if you got off on a bad start with them, go make amends now. [Read: What to do when you’re meeting his parents for the first time]
#8 His friends are married. No matter how grown up your man is, peer pressure accounts for a lot when it comes to big life decisions. Most men only start thinking of getting married when they see their homies dropping like flies, and by dropping, I mean walking down the aisle.
It puts his life into perspective and will get his wheels turning on whether he is ready to do the same. If most of his friends are married or are planning on doing the same, you can expect him to follow suit once he sees the good side of settling down through his buddies.
#9 You get a pet. Getting a creature together is a wonderful sign that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, or at least the next 3 to 14 years depending on what type of pet you get.
Jokes aside, sharing the responsibility of caring for something is an indication that he sees himself with you in the long run. It is also a wonderful gauge for both of you to see if you guys can cope with the weight of being accountable for something other than yourselves.
#10 He values your opinion. When a man asks for your opinion, you can chalk it up as him valuing your presence in his life. I do not mean silly decisions like where to eat for dinner but rather, the bigger decisions like if he should move across the country for work or if he should sell his loft and invest in a larger space.
When he invites you to share your input on carving out his future, you can be certain that he sees you in it. Once a man factors you into his life goals and starts determining what is going to be best for ‘us’ as opposed to ‘just me’, you can expect that he’ll make it official soon enough.
#11 You live together. Living together first is one of the smartest decisions that a couple can make before tying the knot. If he invites you to move in or to get a place together, he has already decided to keep you around for the long run. If everything goes well after a couple of years, you can probably expect him to pop the question. [Read: 10 ways to make living together a breeze]
#12 He doesn’t run from the tough stuff. A man who sticks around and shows true grit through tough times is a man who takes you seriously and does not want to lose you. Whether it’s holding your hand through a serious illness, helping you get back on your feet through a financial crisis or just being a solid shoulder to cry on, a man who can stomach the tough stuff is someone who truly loves you.
If he can stay strong and be with you through your darkest hour, he will be able to make it with you through anything. Love is not just about sailing through fun times. Seeing how he captains your ship through stormy weather is a great way to tell if he wants to be with you long term.
#13 He gives you the “you are the one” speech. Whether he did it intentionally or it just slipped out, once he starts hinting along the lines of you being “the one”, you can probably be sure that you are indeed “the one.”
Men don’t take these words lightly! Telling you this means that he has stopped thinking of other women, that he has forgotten about being a lifelong bachelor and that he has finally found the woman he wants to start the next chapter of life with. [Read: 14 signs your guy means it when he says “I love you”]
#14 He trusts you completely. Whether it’s with his ATM card or with is heart, once a man fully trusts you, it is a clear indication that he sees himself potentially creating a future with you. Moreover, once he takes your thoughts and opinions seriously and confides in you no matter how embarrassing the problem, you can be sure that he values you being in his life and fully trusts that you will take care of him in every sense.
[Read: 11 sure signs to know if you’re with a real keeper]
[Read: 10 surefire ways to know if he wants to marry you]
These signs can help shed some light on where your relationship may be headed. You don’t need all 14 signs to be sure, as each man has different ways of showing his devotion to you. But if you see a lot of these signs in your relationship, you can be sure that your guy wants to be with you forever.
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