Moving in with a guy is a huge step, one you usually don’t think will be that hard. You know the old saying, men are from Mars, women are from Venus…
I live with a guy. No, he’s not my boyfriend but still, he’s a guy. When it comes to living together, it’s great. There are definitely some things we both do that drive us nuts. But, when moving in with a guy you date, it’s a little different. This isn’t just someone as a roommate, this is the guy you date and possibly spend the rest of your life with—depending on how this goes.
Now, I’m not saying that the relationship is doomed if you experience a rough couple of months, it’s going to take time. But there are some things that you probably want to know before you even move in with them. You may think that you are solid together but being under one roof changes things.
Trust me, some of these tips for moving in with a guy are going to be ones that you write down or set as reminders on your phone. It’s not hard, but you need to know some helpful tips.
#1 Remember there are two of you. When you live on your own, things are different. You leave your dirty underwear on the floor, you let the garbage overflow, and you don’t do the dishes for weeks on end. But now there are two of you, be conscious of the other person and the way they keep their home. They may be cleaner or messier than you which is something to be aware of. [Read: 15 traits that sets selfless love apart from selfish love]
#2 Don’t hide anything “unsexy.” Listen, you have a period. You’re going to be using tampons, pads, or diva cups. Sometimes you wear unsexy underwear. There’s no point hiding these things. If he’s not comfortable with the idea of you being a woman, this is a problem. If he can’t handle a couple tampons then is he actually mature enough to live with you? [Read: The 14 steps you take to unfake your life]
#3 Find the balance. One of you will be cleaner or dirtier than the other, this is just how it goes. In my house, I’m the mess while he’s the clean freak. You just set standards for yourself so that the other person isn’t disgusted by the way you live or choked by how much bleach you use to clean your house.
#4 You should feel comfortable. There are going to be small things to iron out along the way, but you should feel comfortable the minute you move in together. You shouldn’t feel that you should sleep with your makeup on or you can’t go to the bathroom because he’ll hear. You want to feel like it’s your home.
#5 Take the small things with a grain of salt. There are going to be things that piss you off. Maybe he leaves his clean clothes on a chair or he leaves the toilet seat up, but don’t freak out. These things aren’t dealbreakers. Trust me, if annoyed by these things, he’s annoyed by the little things you do too, so it goes hand in hand. [Read: 15 tips to not be selfish in a relationship]
#6 Moving in with a guy doesn’t mean your relationship will be perfect. This means you even put in more work to make sure your relationship continues to grow. What happens with many couples is they end up being roommates rather than partners. Make sure to keep passion going and that you work on your sex life with them.
#7 Communication is key. Just because you live together doesn’t mean your communication gets better on its own. Make sure you stay connected and communicative. Now that you live together, learn each other’s schedules, and even stay in contact with little things like who cooks dinner or feeds the dog.
#8 Keep a deadline in mind. Listen, if you want to get married then be realistic with your partner. If you live with them, and after a year it isn’t working out, end it. You have goals and dreams. So, if it’s not working out with your partner by a certain time, be true to yourself and do what you know is right.
#9 Go out with your friends. Here’s the thing, once we move in with our partner, we sometimes get into the zone where we only hang out with them. But this isn’t healthy. You need your own night out with your friends just like they do. It’s easy to get lost in being at home and watching Netflix with your partner but don’t forget your friends, they need lovin’. [Read: 13 fun ideas for a girl’s night out]
#10 Make an agreement with him. Will you split the rent 50/50? How will you pay for food? Who will do the laundry? Who cooks? Who cleans? I know these things seem trivial, but sort them out before even thinking of moving in together. If you don’t talk it out beforehand, you may be in for an unexpected surprise. Like you become the maid.
#11 Move in because it feels right. Not because you feel you should or you think it brings you one step closer to marrying them. Those aren’t good reasons. In fact, it brings you great disappointment if it doesn’t happen. The reason should be that you want to be with them and take the relationship to the next step.
#12 Learn how to fight smart. You live together now. It’s not like before when you had a fight and you just hung up the phone and talked to each other three days later. Now, you sleep in the same bed. Learn how to pick your battles and discuss things that bother you in a mature way. [Read: How to flight fair in a relationship and grow closer]
#13 It’s all about compromising. He may not want to watch Private Practice with you, but he will because on Friday night he gets to pick the movie. See what’s going on here? Compromising. Of course, you won’t like everything they do, but neither do they. So, learn to do things that you don’t want to do because it’s going to happen more often than not.
#14 Know that you’re going to eat more. Most women, when they move in with a guy end up gaining weight. Why? Well, men just eat more in general compared to women. I know, sucks for us while they get to maintain their body weight after eating two bags of chips. Point being, be prepared. [Read: 12 simple, daily self-love habits to keep you confident]
#15 Be prepared that it may not work out. Of course, I want you to work out but moving in together is a huge step, and not everyone is ready for it. Plus, not everyone handles the living habits of someone opposite them. So, hope for the best, but be prepared for it not to work out. So, have a back-up plan even if you don’t want one.