Most women have encountered this question—is he attracted to me? You may be talking to a guy, but you can’t seem to figure out if he likes you. He could be really shy, unsure of how to approach you, or he could simply not be interested.
With some men, you know right away where they stand with you, while others make you feel like you’re deciphering a code.
If you’re stuck trying to work out whether someone you’re crushing on likes you back or not, the good news is that there are some signs you can search for.
While it may be harder to figure some guys out than others, it’s rarely totally impossible. You just need to open your mind and know what to look for! [Read: Different types of attraction – Which is most vital for true love?]
The truth is that working out if a guy is really interested isn’t that complex. But, if you don’t know what signs to look for, it can seem like a never-ending puzzle.
If he is shy, he’ll never approach you or outright flirt with you; that’s not his style. He may wait months, even years, before he finds the courage to make a move!
Of course, you don’t need to wait that long. If you have some confidence that he reciprocates your feelings, you can be the one to make the first move instead.
So, let’s get you up to speed with what you need to look out for so you can answer the infamous question, is he attracted to me? [Read: How to flirt with a shy guy – 15 baby steps to get him to talk to you]
You cannot base anything on one single interaction between the two of you. What you need to look for is a pattern. For example, say a guy smiles at you while you’re in line at the grocery store. That’s a good sign, but it still means nothing.
Now, you leave the grocery store and he walks by you and says something. That is a sign. He didn’t need to talk to you, but he went out of his way to do so. [Read: How guys flirt – 15 subtle things guys do to impress a girl]
Now, we’re not saying you need to confess your undying love for him and go down on one knee to propose. But you should take small risks to see if there’s a reaction. You want to do a little bit more than what you usually do.
So, if you like the coffee shop guy, instead of just saying ‘hi,’ ask him how his weekend was. This is a small risk to see if he reacts positively. If he just nods and says, “It was good,” well, he’s not taking a step forward to match the risk you made.
Again, he could be shy, but you’ll notice other signs on top of that if that’s the case. [Read: How to flirt with a shy guy – 15 baby steps to help him warm up]
If you chat away, and he just stands there nodding in silence, he’s not doing anything. If he is attracted to you, he will do something. By something, we mean anything.
He tries to keep the conversation going or start the conversation the next time he sees you. If you literally get nothing back in return, he’s not interested.
If someone likes you, they want to spend time with you. It’s as simple as that. Now, maybe he’s too shy to ask you to hang out, so, feel free to make the first move. If he agrees to hang out with you, that’s a good sign. It doesn’t mean he likes you yet though.
However, if you two continue hanging out, then take it as a sign that he’s attracted to you. Nobody invests copious amounts of time into people they don’t find attractive. [Read: The rules of attraction as explained by science]
When you like a guy, you take the extra time to make sure you look your best, right? So, why wouldn’t he?
You notice he’s wearing cologne; a clean, stain-free shirt; fixed his hair. Though you may not think of it as a huge deal, it is. That is, unless, he’s already into his appearance; then, you can’t really tell if it’s because of you or him.
Because he wants to know more! He wants to know more about you, so he’s asking you what your favorite ice cream is, what your hobbies are—he’s trying to see what kind of person you are.
At this point, he is attracted to you, but if he digs for information, then he’s trying to work out if you’re someone he could see himself with. [Read: 75 flirty questions to ask your crush and make them think of you]
Now, men compliment women all the time, so, we wouldn’t take this one sign with huge importance. It means that they may be attracted to you, but are they interested in you?
It could be that he just wants to get you into bed, which we guess technically means he’s attracted to you. Anyway, the point is, if he notices your new haircut or says that he likes your shirt, it means he’s paying attention to you. [Read: 20 clear signs of attraction in a first conversation]
We don’t mean that he grabs your ass. If that happens, obviously, he’s attracted to you but he clearly doesn’t respect you.
We mean that he touches your arm or puts his hand on your back when you walk past him. These are respectful moments of physical contact, but they really show that he’s attracted to you and values you. That is much different from him just wanting to sleep with you. [Read: How to flirt by touch and use subtle body language to seduce anyone]
It’s not that he’s invading your personal space, but, basically, he’s entering your personal space in a good way. If he’s attracted to you, you notice he sits closer to you than other guys.
Now, you can test this out by moving closer to him.
For example, if you sit next to each other, slide closer to him to show him something on your phone. If he doesn’t move away for more space between you two, it’s a good sign that he’s into you.
If he inches even closer, that’s an even bigger answer to your question, ‘is he attracted to me?’ [Read: 16 giveaways to watch for if he’s attracted to you]
From experience, do you often look into the eyes of a guy who you don’t like? You might look at them, but you don’t do any prolonged glances in their direction. Why? Because it makes you feel uncomfortable and it gives off the wrong vibe.
Eye contact is a very important part of attraction. If he gives you an ample amount of eye contact, that’s usually done when there’s a romantic interest.
Have you ever been around a guy who doesn’t like you? Yeah, he doesn’t even look at you. [Read: What does eye contact mean to a guy? Is he a subtle flirt?]
When you’re around someone who makes you feel good, you can’t help but smile. Smiling is another important sign of attraction and warmth between two people, especially if there’s romantic interest involved. Men and women tend to smile naturally when they’re around someone they like.
But, if he only smiles with his mouth closed, there’s a high chance of him doing so just to be polite. [Read: Is he just shy or not interested? 15 ways to decode his behavior]
If he’s shy, he may not be able to flirt with you, but that doesn’t mean he’s not interested. However, if he’s not the shy type, then he’ll probably try to flirt with you.
Now, flirting is not enough of a sign to show that he’s into you. You might find yourself flirting with many people that you have no intention of being with, probably without even realizing it.
But what happens at the end of your conversation? Does it just end there? Or does he try to subtly ask you out or wish to see you again? [Read: 14 ways to know for sure if a guy is flirting with you]
There’s a high chance that if you share similar interests with him, both of you will find each other more attractive. For example, you tell him you love to watch basketball and then he says he loves basketball too. This is him letting you know that you have something in common.
If he didn’t want to connect with you, he wouldn’t be sharing this information with you. Instead, he would just nod his head and say, “cool.” Then, he’ll try to connect with you based on the things you have in common, to take the conversation further. [Read: How to ask a guy if he likes you without feeling awkward]
We don’t mean this in a controlling and obsessive way. If you notice those signs, then you shouldn’t be trying to figure out if he likes you – you should run away in the opposite direction.
By protective, we mean if someone treats you disrespectfully, he steps in or makes sure you get home safely. That is being protective in a healthy and respectful way. [Read: The damsel in distress – Why all good men find them irresistible]
Despite what you might think, men are emotional. It’s just that often, they simply choose not to show it. If a man decides to share his feelings and emotions with you, this is usually a very big step for him.
It means he trusts you and is most likely attracted to you. Sharing emotions is a crucial factor in connecting with someone. He let his guard down and wants you to see who he is.
We mentioned eye contact, but this is a little different. You probably notice this when you quickly catch a glimpse of him. When you really like someone, you probably won’t be able to stop looking at them.
So, for him, he’s having a hard time keeping himself in check. He may look away quickly or he could even hold eye contact with you after you catch him staring at you. Basically, he’s not just making eye contact, he’s admiring you. [Read: Signs a man is in love – 17 gestures that are louder than words]
When he’s around his friends, he farts, burps, and talks bullshit. But when you’re around, he’s a little more reserved. He’s not burping, he’s holding those farts in, and instead, he’s asking you if you’re hungry or cold.
For sure, he might just be a pretty well-mannered guy, but you’ll be able to tell the difference.
Now, you shouldn’t expect him to pull your chair out for you or throw his jacket on a puddle so you can walk over it—this isn’t the 1950s. But you’ll notice his manners appearing more when he’s around you. [Read: Proper social etiquette – The main rules that redefine modern manners]
When a guy is attracted to you, he’ll subconsciously try to impress you; it’s what evolution has taught him!
He may try to show off his physical prowess by lifting something heavy, or he may go out of his way to do you a favor. It doesn’t matter how small or big it is, if a man is attracted to you, he’ll do everything he possibly can to make himself seem like the perfect example of a gentleman. [Read: What is chivalry? The knight’s code and modern men]
Does he text you good morning or even good night?
Why would a guy do this often, or even every day, unless he’s totally smitten by you already? If a guy goes out of his way to stay in touch, and even initiates conversations just because, chances are he’s trying to impress you.
Social media is a huge blessing for flirty friends. You don’t even have to directly tell someone you like them, all you need to do is share memes with them every day.
And then, in the middle of all those funny memes, he may slip in something complimentary, flirty, or even sexual. Of course, it’s a joke because it’s a meme. But if he’s doing this very often, odds are he’s attracted to you and is trying to drop a few hints to see how you’ll react to it. [Read: Instagram flirting – How it’s secretly ruining your relationship]
Does he linger back and hang around even after all your other friends leave? If a guy tries everything he possibly can to spend time alone with you, that’s a sign. That might mean dropping you off at home, walking you home, or even arriving early if it means he can spend time with you.
He’s clearly fallen hard, and is doing everything he possibly can to slip out of the friend zone. [Read: 34 naughty ways to slip out of the friend zone in no time]
He may not want to ruin it all by asking you out on a date directly. But if you’re wondering, is he attracted to me, ask yourself if he asks you out casually all the time?
Does he text you one evening asking you if you’re bored *because he apparently is* and would like to hang out? Does he talk about a new restaurant he’d like to check out with you?
If a guy is attracted to you, he’s going to casually ask you out often. And somehow, it’s always just you two and no one else on that outing!
There may be a hundred other people in the room, but you’ll know when a guy likes you if he only has eyes for you. A supermodel lookalike may walk by, and he probably wouldn’t even notice her. That’s when you know that you’re at the center of his world.
He’ll also hang off your every word, laugh at your jokes, and find every excuse to be by your side as often as he can without coming off as creepy.
The same way you would be excited to see your crush, he’ll light up when you walk into a room. You can tell if he genuinely enjoys your company as it will shine through in his face and body language.
He’ll seem very happy to see you and will pepper the ensuing conversation with stuff like, “Wow, I’m so glad you could make it,” and “I was worried that I would miss out on the pleasure of your company.” [Read: The biggest signs of sexual attraction to keep an eye on]
A surefire way to tell if he’s attracted to you is to take note of how often he dotes on you.
For example, you’re at a party, and he makes a beeline toward you to say hi. He doesn’t leave your side, he engages you in conversation throughout the night, he always gets you a drink. At the end of the night, he walks you back to your car.
These little actions are signs of his affection. When a man shows that he cares about your comfort and safety, it proves that he’s interested. [Read: Key differences – Protective boyfriend or a controlling boyfriend?]
It’s a fact that people only make an effort to spend time with those they care about. If a guy plans an outing, and invites you and no one else along, he probably likes you.
For example, he will invite you for an excursion that he could very well do alone, such as heading to IKEA to pick out shower curtains. He will find any excuse to get you to spend time with him, even if it’s doing something as silly as furniture shopping.
The invitation is usually coupled with a plea for help or advice. [Read: 15 ways to tell someone likes you for sure without asking them about it]
Paying attention to nonverbal communication is a great way to tell if he’s attracted to you. When standing, if you notice his arms are always at his side, with his open palms facing you, he’s projecting openness and willingness to have you close by.
If his arms are crossed in front of his chest, then he’s not interested. When sitting, if he has his legs open, he’s unconsciously letting you know that he’s interested. Whereas if his legs are crossed, you can count on the opposite. [Read: Does he like me? 41 subtle signs and body language clues to know a guy is into you]
Does he stumble over his words a little or seem a little nervous generally? Maybe he’s fidgeting or blushing? These are all signs of nerves.
The reason he’s nervous? He’s crushing on you and he’s scared of how he’s coming across!
He loves to hear your laugh and thinks that it’s the best way to impress you. So, it’s likely he’ll try to bring out his best jokes or one-liners. Watch out for them and give the guy a giggle for his efforts!
He’s not likely to throw out a stand-up routine, but you’ll certainly notice that if he gets a laugh from you, his face lights up with delight.
Most guys aren’t super-responsive to messages in general, but if he’s answering you pretty quickly, it’s because he’s waiting to hear from you. If you’re still wondering, ‘is he attracted to me?’, the likelihood of a yes is very high!
If you tell him you have a big presentation at work that day, he’ll ask you how it went when he sees you again. He might even message you to ask.
If you tell him you’re going to see a band with your friends, he’ll make a point of asking if you enjoyed it. Basically, he’s remembering what you tell him, and guys only do that when they’re interested in someone! [Read: Are you in love? The clear signs you’re past lust and really in love]
If he’s not interested in you, he’ll only treat you the same as the rest of his friends. But, if he’s treating you very differently, that’s because he sees you with different eyes.
The people around you are sure to notice, and it’s possible they’re nudging you and telling you that he’s interested.
If you’re talking, look at his lips. If he’s drawing attention to his lips, it’s because it’s a subconscious move when someone is attracted to the other person. He’s basically telling you all you need to know without even realizing it!
So, if you notice this and you’re still asking, ‘is he attracted to me?’, you know the answer. [Read: Lip biting – what makes it so hot and secrets to make it way sexier]
Well, there’s no question left to ask, is there?
You’ve been trying to work out the answer to, ‘is he attracted to me?’, and you’re pretty sure that, based on these signs, he is. So, what now?
Think about how you feel. The fact that you’re asking yourself if he is attracted to you basically says that you have some feelings of your own. So, it’s time to be honest about those feelings and work out what they are. [Read: Do I like him? The easy questions to reveal the answer in a minute]
If you like him, go with the flow and see where it takes you. If you show him that you share his attraction, he’ll probably ask you out. Or, if you’re not into waiting and you want to take the initiative, just go on and ask him out instead.
You know you want to!
[Read: How to let a guy know you’re interested in him without appearing overeager]
Now that you know the signs, can you answer the question of ‘is he attracted to me?’ All that’s left to do is look forward to the first date!
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