21 Ways to Stroke a Guy’s Ego & Make Him Feel Like a Man When He’s Down

If you want to know how to make him feel like a man when he’s down, you need to learn how to stroke your man’s ego. It’s easier than you think! 

how to stroke your man's ego and make him feel like a man

Ah, the famous male ego. Easily damaged yet extremely powerful. Learning how to stroke your man’s ego will put you in control. The other positive point is that this will also make him feel like a man and boost his confidence.

Of course, there is no space for ego in a healthy relationship. In this case, we’re not talking about an inflated sense of self or having a head so big it won’t fit through the door.

We’re talking about the male ego and his need to feel like he’s making you happy. He wants to feel like he’s protecting you and being the alpha male character.

Whether you actually want him to be an alpha male or not, the male ego has a need to think that way. If you want your relationship to flourish and for your guy to feel like a king, you need to learn how to stroke his ego with ease. [Read: What is peacocking? The many types and why guys show off around girls]

What does ‘stroking a guy’s ego’ mean?

First things first, before you can learn how to stroke your man’s ego, you need to know what it means. Basically, every guy has an ego. Some are larger than others. By stroking his ego, you’ll also make him feel like a man.

Why does he need that? Guys just do. They want to be the alpha. They want to be protectors, but sometimes life pushes them down. When you’re stroking a guy’s ego, you’re helping to boost his confidence and make him feel capable and strong.

It’s easy to assume that guys always feel that way. At the end of the day, they’re human. Life happens, and things can make all of us feel low. [Read: How to help someone up when they’re feeling down and depressed]

Why should you stroke your man’s ego?

Why? As a partner, it’s your responsibility to build your man up when he’s feeling low, just as he would do for you. The goal isn’t to make his head huge and unbearable. It’s to subtly remind him that you think he’s amazing.

Everyone wants to feel that their partner adores them and thinks they’re great, but guys also want to be seen as strong, protective, and capable. They want to know that you see them that way.

If you want your man to be happy and for your relationship to be positive, learning how to stroke your man’s ego just enough is key.

Of course, don’t go overboard. An over-confident man is even worse! [Read: How to deal with a depressed person]

How to stroke your man’s ego when he’s feeling down

For whatever reason, men don’t typically like to discuss their feelings and the things that are going wrong in their lives. As frustrating as that may be, there is one thing that they all have in common that we can use to make them feel better – the need to feel manly.

What better way to stroke his ego than to emphasize these characteristics in him? [Read: The things you say or do that make your man feel less manly]

1. Show him that you need him

Men love to feel like we can’t do things without them, even if it’s as simple as opening the pickle jar. It not only makes them feel wanted and needed but also plays up their strength, making them feel good about their physical shape.

A lot of men put their worth into how much we need them. If they’re already feeling down and out, showing them that you need their strength will make them feel secure again. [Read: The real reason behind why men love damsels in distress]

2. Compliment the work he’s done

Just like a woman loves to hear that her eyebrows look fantastic *and we know we slave over them to achieve perfection*, a man likes to hear that the heavy shelf he hung up looks perfect in the walkway.

When he feels like his skills are being put to use and that he’s doing a good job, it greatly lifts his spirits. We know – it sounds cliché, but give it a try and you’ll see how true it is.

3. Tell him that he’s special

Every man wants to hear that they’re not like others. Telling him that no one else could possibly do something as well as he can will go a long way in making him feel better!

Saying something along the lines of, “no one has ever done _____ as well as you. That’s really unique and interesting,” will be sure to lift his spirits and get his ego back in check. [Read: 25 compliments for men they’ll never ever forget]

4. Be flirty with him

Make sure he feels like you still want to hop into bed with him, even though whatever has happened is making him feel upset. Knowing that you still want him will make him feel better about any situation.

Giving silent compliments is a great way to flirt with your man. Grab his butt or biceps, or run your hands along his sexy abs. Spanking him as he’s walking by and following it with a wink is a great way to show your appreciation for him. [Read: 25 ways to make your guy feel appreciated and cared for]

5. Distract him

You can do this in any way that you think will work. Take him to the mall, a car show, a concert, or to do anything that he’s into. Taking his mind off of the thing that has him in a rut will make him feel better in no time.

6. Provide support

Men don’t normally like to talk about their issues and what is making them feel upset, but that doesn’t mean you can’t let them know you’re there for them.

Even if he doesn’t want to talk about the problem, it will make him feel better knowing that you realize he’s upset and will be there for him. He’ll also appreciate that you’re not pushing him to talk about it.

Giving a man his space will give him time to self-reflect and figure out the issue on his own. It will also make you look like an awesome, understanding, and supportive significant other, and he will recognize that. [Read: Obvious hints guys give when they want more space]

7. Give him a sexy back rub

Get a scented oil and tell him that you want to make him feel good. Not only will the actual massage relax him and make him feel great, but he will feel better just knowing that you want to rub him down with oils.

It may also lead to a little something else that will make him feel better in different ways. Wink wink! [Read: Foreplay moves for men that really, really work!]

8. Do him a favor

Don’t say anything about it. Silently doing something that you know he will like is enough to lighten his mood and make him feel good. He will see that you not only realize that he needs a pick-me-up but that you’re willing to put in the work just for him.

That alone will make his ego skyrocket.

Things like cooking his favorite meal, doing his laundry, tidying up his place, and other favors will give him a break and reduce some of his stress. He’ll find appreciation in what you do for him. [Read: 67 sweet yet romantic gestures that show love in the biggest way]

9. Tell him he’s great

If you want to learn how to effectively stroke your man’s ego, occasionally tell him how great he is in a powerful way. Don’t do it all the time.

There’s no need to tell him that he’s the best at driving, cooking, cleaning, etc. Just every so often, tell him that he’s great and that he’s an expert at something important to him. [Read: 25 ways to be the best girlfriend and leave him addicted]

10. Make him think that great ideas are his, even if they’re yours

Again, don’t do this all the time. You need to have credit for good ideas, too! Do it when you want him to think that something great is his idea so that he’ll be more likely to do it.

For instance, if you want to go away for the weekend but you’re not sure if he’s going to go for it, twist it around and say that there’s a show on in a place that he always wanted to see. He will probably say that you should go together. Boom! You’ve come up with an idea and basically made it seem like it was his.

Okay, so it’s manipulative to a degree, but not negatively. It’s a good way to learn how to stroke your man’s ego and still get what you want! [Read: Proven strategies to manipulate people that actually work]

11. Tell him you feel safe around him

A man wants to protect his partner. It’s almost like it’s ingrained in his inner psyche. Telling him that you always feel safe and protected when you’re with him is going to do a lot of ego-boosting!

You don’t have to play the weaker one in the relationship to say this or make him feel this way. It’s actually more of a compliment for it to come from a partner who is independent and strong. He’s going to feel like you really mean it. [Read: 20 adorable ways to sweet-talk a guy and steal his heart]

12. Build him up in front of your friends

You have to do this authentically, but complimenting him when he and your friends are all in attendance is a great way to make him feel good. It’s going to be like a peacock puffing out his feathers!

Less is more in this instance. Just one compliment backed up by a quick example is enough. Don’t go on and on, or he might feel embarrassed, and that will have the opposite effect. [Read: 30 special compliments for guys to make them blush and make their day]

13. Make him proud of you

This one might seem odd, but a way to stroke your man’s ego is to be yourself. Be strong and independent, and make him proud to be with you.

Most men don’t want to be with partners who are overly needy and rely upon them for everything. That’s not the type of relationship that you want, either.

Being yourself, sticking with your dreams, working hard, and spending time with your friends while prioritizing him will all work in your favor. [Read: 17 easy yet powerful ways to be a really good girlfriend to your guy]

14. Pay enough attention to him

You’re not going to do anything for your guy’s ego if you don’t pay him any attention. That doesn’t mean that you should drop everything for him when he walks into the room, but you should give him the amount of attention he deserves. You should make sure he feels like he’s a priority in your life.

By doing that, you’re stroking his ego because he knows he’s doing something right in the relationship. [Read: 40 secrets on how to make your boyfriend happy and lucky to date you]

15. If he’s comfortable with it, show him affection in public

This one might not be on the list for your guy because not everyone enjoys PDA. If your guy isn’t adverse, showing a little affection in front of other people can make him feel like he’s on top of the world.

The key word here is ‘little.’ Do not jump on your man in public. It’s frowned upon! Just a small peck on the cheek and a smile or holding his hand will be enough.

By doing this, you’re showing him that you don’t care who knows that you’re together and in love. He’ll feel great! [Read: 15 ways public display of affection can save your relationship]

16. Be his cheerleader

In a relationship, you should be your guy’s biggest cheerleader and supporter. By doing that, you’re learning how to stroke your man’s ego with ease. He’ll be more confident if he knows you’re by his side, too.

However, if you don’t agree with something he’s doing, it’s up to you to tell him. Be an authentic supporter and not a fake one. [Read: How to make your boyfriend happy over text and make him love you more]

17. Let him know that you love to be with him

If you want to make your guy feel great, just tell him that you love to be with him. It’s simple and extremely effective! Whether you realize it or not, every guy is wrecked with doubts over whether or not they’re doing everything right in a relationship.

Are they ‘enough’ for their partner? They worry that you wish you were with someone else. By telling him that you love being with him, you get rid of all those worries and boost his self-confidence at the same time. [Read: Small but powerful gestures that show your love]

18. Teach your kids to admire him

If you have children, teach them to admire him as a man and for everything he does for the family. This taps into his need to protect, and there is no stronger urge to protect than the one that belongs to a father.

19. Tell him he’s the best kisser ever

This is a lighthearted one, but telling him that he’s a fantastic kisser will not only make him smile but boost his confidence, too. Whether he will admit it to you or not, he’s probably wondered a few times about his kissing prowess. You can lay all of those doubts to rest! [Read: 30 types of kisses and what they mean]

20. Compliment his car

Yes, we know, it’s cliché, but some guys are crazy about their cars. It’s almost as if the car is their baby! If that’s the case with your guy, compliment his car using as much knowledge as you can muster.

It’s probably not going to cut it to just say that you like the color, but go for it if that’s all you can come up with. He’ll be pleased you noticed, and complimenting his car is like complimenting him!

21. Put him in charge of the directions

Sorry, but this is a man thing. By putting him in charge of the directions, you’re showing him that you feel safe with his ability. You’re entrusting him with the responsibility to get you safely from point A to point B.

Do your best to hold in any criticism when he takes a wrong turn or if you’re not sure that you’re actually going in the right direction.

He will get you there in the end, and that’s the trust you need to show him if you want to learn how to stroke your man’s ego. [Read: How to tell how your partner feels and learn to read their mind]

Boost your man’s confidence and your relationship

When you make him feel like a man, he will have more confidence in himself. His self-worth will increase, and he will feel like he is doing his job as your partner.

We all have these needs, and you don’t have to totally understand them to know that they’re there.

Ultimately, you know your man better than anyone else, so you will already have all the secrets to making him feel better.

[Read: 15 sweet ways to make a guy feel needed and wanted in the relationship]

Use these tips to learn how to successfully stroke your man’s ego – just be careful that you don’t stroke it too much, or you’ll have another problem on your hands!

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...