I think it’s safe to say that almost all of us have heard a guy say he’s not ready for a relationship but he likes me. Yawn. It’s time for them to come up with better lines, don’t you think?
Sometimes we like guys who don’t like us, or they like us and we’re not interested in them. We’re emotional beings, obviously, it’s going to be complicated in the love department. If you’ve had a guy tell you he has feelings for you but isn’t ready to commit, step back for a moment and take a look at what’s really going on.
Ack! He’s not ready for a relationship but he likes me
Maybe you have only dated for a short time, in that case, I understand why he’s not ready to jump into anything serious. But if you have been seeing each other for a while, decide whether or not it’s worth seeing him.
[Read: The sure signs your guy is a commitment phobe]
We only have so much time on earth *not to sound depressing*, and it’s important not to waste your time on someone who’s not investing in the relationship. So, if he’s telling you he’s not ready to commit to a relationship, it’s time to figure out the reasons why and what you need to do about it.
Women like to think men are simple. You just feed them, show them affection, and you’re good to go. But they’re complicated, don’t fool yourself. If he’s not committing to you, there are a couple of solid reasons why.
#1 He’s not over his ex. Gasp! That’s right, I said it. He’s not over his ex yet. Sure, he may have told you he’s over her, but of course, he’s going to tell you that. If he told you the truth, you wouldn’t be seeing each other. If he’s not over his ex, then he’s not going to want to invest further into the relationship. [Read: The secret signs your guy is not over his ex]
#2 There’s someone else. Double gasp! This is turning out to be a Spanish soap opera. I know this stings, but if he doesn’t want to get serious with you, there may be someone else who’s occupying his mind.
It’s definitely not fair of him if this is the case. The only way you’ll know is through his actions and your gut instinct. [Read: The gut-wrenching signs your boyfriend is into someone else]
#3 He’s happy with the situation. Why would he invest in a relationship when he’s getting everything he wants right now minus the commitment? He’s enjoying the situation you have and he’s not looking to settle down. His friends, work, and hobbies are still a priority over you and he’s not looking to change that.
#4 Commitment phobe. Some guys can’t commit to anything serious. I remember I dated a guy who couldn’t even commit to having dinner. Okay, he could, but if I spoke to him about any future plans, he would start sweating. I’m not even joking. This guy of yours could have a serious case of commitment phobia. And if he does, run the other way.
#5 You’re not the one. Ah, this one is always a bummer. But if a man isn’t committing to you, you’re not the one for him. If a guy really liked you, he wouldn’t be giving you these lame “I’m not ready” lines. He would snatch you up and never let go. If he’s not doing that, then he’s not the one for you. [Read: 15 signs you’re being used by a guy and it’s time to ditch him]
These are some common reasons why a guy isn’t committing to a relationship. Now that you know the reasons, you’re probably wondering what you should do. Good question.
What to do when he’s not ready for a relationship, but he likes you
So, you’ve figured out why he doesn’t want to commit to you, now the question is what are you going to do? Listen, ideally, you should dump him. But I know that’s not going to happen, at least not right now. So here are some other ways to handle the situation.
#1 Dump him. Okay, I have to say it one more time because it’s important. If a guy isn’t meeting you halfway, then you need to let him go. This is your life and happiness we’re talking about. Yeah, it’ll suck for a couple of months after, but then you’ll meet someone who really wants to be with you and you’ll forget all about this guy. He’s not worth your time. [Read: This is how to know when it’s time to break up]
#2 Be clear with your feelings. He can’t read your mind. Maybe he’s just scared or unsure of how you feel. It’s important you lay your cards out on the table and make sure he understands what’s going on in your head. Then, you two can come to some conclusion. Stay together? Be friends? Something has to happen.
#3 Accept the relationship for what it is. He’s probably not going to change and that’s fine. But now it’s your turn to look at the relationship. Ask yourself if this is something you really want. Do you want a casual relationship with him? Does it make you happy? If so, then you’ll need to accept the relationship for what it is. If you don’t like it, then walk away.
#4 Create boundaries. If you are deciding to stick around with him *don’t do it*, you need to create boundaries. What will you accept and what you will not accept. Since he’s willing to make it serious, him sleeping over is probably not a good idea. You need to make sure you keep yourself safe and avoid getting hurt. [Read: 13 reasons why a guy could be acting distant and strange]
#5 Make him invest in you. Listen, it’s something you can do, but I advise against it. You should never push someone into a situation they don’t want. If you want to make him invest in you, he’ll need to want to do that on his own.
Of course, you can get him to do things for you which will make him invest in you. Like changing your car’s tire or helping you assemble furniture. Since he’s putting effort into the relationship, it’ll subconsciously affect him. [Read: Tired of chasing him? Here’s how to make him want you]
#6 Understand he may not be the one for you. I know you don’t want to hear this, but he may not be the one. You’re probably thinking he is, but come on, if he was, he wouldn’t be doing this. It’s okay if the guy you like doesn’t end up being the one.
#7 Spend less time with him. When we like someone, we usually try to spend more time with them. But if you want him to become more attached to you, you need to do the opposite. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. You don’t need to disappear, but limit the amount of time you spend with him. It’ll give him an opportunity to miss you. [Read: Hidden signs we ignore when we’re in a one-sided relationship]
#8 Walk away. Honestly, this is the easiest and best thing you can do. Yes, you can plot and plan away, but you’re really wasting your time. Eventually, you’ll come to see he’s not the one for you and all this hard work will be a waste. So, leave while you’re ahead and find someone worthy of your love.
[Read: He likes you but doesn’t want a relationship? How to deal with it]
So, what are you going to do? I know it’s a hard to hear he’s not ready for a relationship but he likes me, from a guy. You’re worth more than this. Don’t wait for any man!
Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.
Related in LovePanky
Why Do Men Lie? Understanding Why Men Fib the Way They Do
How Guys Text When They Like You: 28 Things They Do Differently
Mansplaining: 25 Ways to Spot a Dick When You’re Talking to One
What Age Does a Man Emotionally Mature? 19 Signs He’s Grown a Real Pair
LOVEPANKY IN YOUR INBOX
Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox!