12 Things You Do that’ll Make Him Think You’re a Stalker
So you really like a guy, but is your affection turning into a crazy obsession? Read these 12 signs and ask yourself if you’re going into stalker mode!
When we women like a guy, we go overboard with our affection now and then. Sometimes, we don’t realize that our actions may actually be scaring him off!
Of course, this doesn’t bode well for a future relationship. The last thing you want him to think is that you’re becoming a stalker of sorts, as people tend to actively avoid stalkers, as opposed to dating them.
Sure, you’re probably not singing love songs outside his bedroom window every night, but you may not realize that some of the more subtle things you’re doing may be giving him the message that you like him a bit too much.
12 signs you’re behaving like a stalker and scaring the guy away!
We’ve compiled a list of the 12 things you might be doing that could lead a guy to believe you’re a stalker, so you can *hopefully* stop yourself from doing them in your day-to-day life.
#1 Commenting on or liking all of his Facebook posts. While it’s fine to friend the object of your affection on Facebook, even if you don’t know him that well, it’s not cool to like or comment on every single status, photo or link that pops up on his page.
For a guy, this is one of the most significant signs that you’re moving into stalker territory. Creep if you like, but let him think you have better things to do besides adding him to your list of close friends and monitoring his feed all day long. [Read: 14 dos and don’ts of friending the guy you like on Facebook]
#2 Showing up at places he’s checked into via social media. Thanks to social networks like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, it’s easy to post where you are or where you’re headed, so your friends can come join you. People generally don’t announce their location in hopes of spending the night alone.
However, your chosen guy may start to get suspicious if, every time he heads to a public place, you suddenly arrive there five minutes later. Feel free to pop in at his hangouts once in a while, but keep in mind that seeing too much of you may diminish your value in his eyes. If you want a guy to like you, refrain from smothering him with your presence. [Read: How men actually fall in love – The 7 stages of love for men]
#3 Frequently walking or driving by his workplace, school, or home. You may need to walk or drive by one of these places to get where you’re going, but don’t do so more often than is necessary. If you don’t happen to see him, you’ll have wasted your time and accomplished nothing.
On the other hand, if he is there and notices you circling the block for the sixth time that day, he may decide that you’re a bit sketchy. If you can’t stop yourself from touring the area, you’ll have to invest in a good pair of sunglasses and a funky hat.
#4 Texting him constantly. Perhaps you’ve been lucky enough to receive a cell number from your love interest. If so, don’t make him regret giving it to you. Remember, daily “Good morning” and “Sweet dreams” texts are normally sent by couples who are already dating, not two people who are just getting to know each other.
Sending them at this stage will just make him think you’re clingy, and possibly headed for Stalkerville. You may be curious as to what he’s doing at every minute, but chances are, he probably won’t appreciate a “So… what are you eating for breakfast?” text on a daily basis, either. [Read: 7 effective steps to stop obsessing over a guy you’re interested in]
#5 Viewing his LinkedIn profile without connecting. Most people have their LinkedIn account set up so that another user can see when they viewed their profile. If you happen to come across your love interest’s page, and you don’t have this feature turned off, bypassing his profile without doing or saying anything will make you look a little odd.
When you think about it, that’s like passing him on the street and tiptoeing behind some bushes, instead of saying hello. Your man of interest will be wondering why you bothered looking if you don’t want to connect, and he may come to the conclusion that you just want to keep tabs on him.
#6 Becoming a *new* patron at his workplace. If the guy you’ve got your eye on tells you that he works at a store, mans the front desk of a hotel, or is a teller at a local bank, you may think this is great, since his job will give you super-easy access to him. Not so fast – if you’ve never entered his place of business before, but start showing up frequently after being told that he works there, you may, in fact, appear to be a stalker.
#7 Getting close to his friends and family members. Even if your intentions are innocent, a guy may think it’s quite strange if you, seemingly out of the blue, become best friends with his friends and immediate family. Sure, his sister might be really cool, and you and his roommate may have the exact same taste in music, but you’ve got to keep your friendships with these people casual until he accepts you into his inner circle himself. Otherwise, he might think you’re using his intimate acquaintances in order to get closer to him. [Read: How to know if a guy likes you when he doesn’t even talk to you]
#8 Pumping people for information about him. Along the same lines, if you’re already good friends with a ton of people who know him, don’t use them as possible information sources with the intent of finding out more about his activities. Don’t ask mutual friends what he’s doing on the weekend, where his new job is, or what his holiday plans are this year.
If you’re not close enough to him to ask him these things yourself, then you don’t really need to know, do you? Plus, if you find out everything about this guy from others, you two won’t have much to talk about when you bump into each other.
#9 Making his interests your own. When you’re looking to date a new guy, you should never pretend to like something that you don’t care for, or take up new hobbies solely because they’re his. Most guys will get weirded out if they meet you at a party on Friday night, and then you unexpectedly show up at their book club, their wine tasting group, and their gym, all within the next week. Moreover, if a guy finds out that you really aren’t as interested in their hobbies as you purport yourself to be, they’ll peg you as kind of manipulative and desperate. [Read: Why isn’t he asking you out? – 17 sure reasons why!]
#10 Talking about him constantly to mutual friends. It’s understandable that when you’re crushing on someone new, all you’ll want to do in your spare time is talk about him. You’ve got to remember to keep this chatter to a minimum with anyone who is friends with the both of you though, since they may think they’re being funny or even helpful by passing what you’ve said on to him.
If he hears the full extent of your blather, he may conclude that you’re insane, and then you can kiss any chance of having a relationship with him goodbye.
#11 Giving him unnecessary gifts. Unless this guy is already your boyfriend, or you’re headed to his birthday soirée, you shouldn’t be buying him gifts, even if you think that hat at the mall will really complement his eyes, or those snazzy folders are just the thing that will help him keep his work documents organized.
Giving him gifts will just make things between the two of you somewhat awkward, and cause a “caution” light to go off in his brain, especially if he thinks you’re getting romantic and he doesn’t see you as more than a friend yet. [Read: 20 reasons why a guy may never ever like you back]
#12 Asking him to hang out after a few rejections. When we’re really interested in someone, sometimes our brains have trouble processing the word “no.” If a guy tells us he’s busy and can’t hang out, we may keep on asking and asking, ignoring the negative response each time.
Unless you want a man to label you as desperate and eventually ignore you forever, you’ve got to give him some space. Accept that he’s tied up with other things, even if you suspect these things could be other women, and try again later – meaning in another week or two, not the next day! [Read: 15 surefire signs he really likes you but isn’t into you]
There’s an old saying, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder,” and this couldn’t be more true when it comes to pursuing a new guy. You should never go out of your way to avoid him, but don’t be constantly in his face or blowing up his phone. [Read: 20 reasons why a guy you like could be ignoring you]
Let him see that you have your own life, and that you’d be happy with or without him. Amazingly, you may then find that he starts to become very intrigued by you. Consider yourself warned that if you push things too hard, too fast, without giving him breathing room, the opposite result will occur. Even if you look like Alessandra Ambrosio’s long-lost twin sister, you’ll see the man ducking and running as you come around the corner.
As much as you like a guy and want to stay within his radar, keep these 12 signs in mind and avoid turning into a stalker without realizing it, or you may just end up pushing him away instead of getting closer to him.