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11 Most Obvious Signs that Reveal if He’s Just Using You

he's just using you

Do you ever feel like he’s just using you? If you’re unsure of his feelings for you, use these warning signs to avoid heartbreak and pull away in time!

I was in love with a guy for two years who wanted nothing more than to be friends with me. Did he always hang out with me? Yes. Did he come over and eat all my food? Yes. Did he ever pay for anything? No. Are you already cringing? Yeah, I was a fool. The signs of him using me where so clear, but I was so into him I chose to ignore them. Don’t make this mistake of ignoring the fact that he’s just using you, it’ll save you a few unnecessary tears.

How to tell if he’s just using you

If you’re stressing out about your relationship with the guy you like and wondering if it’ll ever become anything more, step back and evaluate the situation. Some warning signs a guy is just using you are right in front of your face.

#1 He only calls you after the sun goes down. The oldest trick in the book. If you notice you never actually see him when the sun is out, he’s either a vampire or is looking for a booty call. Opt for the latter.

If you’re not sure, you can always test this out by asking him to hang out during the day. Does he say he’s busy? Of course, he does. He doesn’t want to talk, he doesn’t want to get to know your personality, he doesn’t want to meet your friends. He wants the booty and only the booty—come on girl, he’s just using you. [Read: 10 booty call moves that may look like true love]

#2 Doesn’t take you out on an actual date. Has he ever asked you out for ice cream or taken you out for dinner? No? If a guy likes you, he takes you out and spends some quality time with you. This doesn’t mean he takes you out to a five-star restaurant, the point is, he wants to spend time with you outside of the bedroom. If he doesn’t take you out on a date, then this guy doesn’t want to invest any time getting to know you unless it gets him off.

#3 Monday to Thursday kinda guy. Is he always busy on the weekends? Unable to ever hang out on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays? Yeah, that’s because he is busy finding other girls. If he only wants to hang out with you during the week, it’s because he’s just using you and isn’t looking at you as a viable option for a relationship.

Sure, you’re great from Monday to Thursday because he isn’t doing anything else on those days anyways, but after that, he’s out on the prowl to find somebody else. You should also be out on the prowl because this isn’t the guy for you. [Read: We accept the love we deserve – Why aren’t you worthy?]

#4 He doesn’t reply to your texts. He doesn’t reply to any texts that don’t start with, “What are you doing later?” It’s not because his phone is dead or that he’s busy at work. He doesn’t care and he’s just using you. He doesn’t want to spend any time having small talk about the TV show you watched last night, or the annoying co-worker you have that won’t stopping inviting you out.

He wants to know when you two can have sex. And if he’s not willing to text you back for a simple text message, then he can find someone else to have sex with.

#5 Avoids the “where is this going” conversation. I know, I hate having that conversation as well and if you have to have that conversation after having sex multiple times, then the answer is pretty clear. Remember this: if a guy wants something, he’ll go and get it. If he wants to date you, he will make that happen.

So, if you’re asking him the “where is this going” question, and he’s avoiding it like a professional dodgeball player, then you know he’s not interested in anything more than what you two already have. If he starts with the, “I’m not sure exactly what I want,” that’s a lie. He’s just using you and trying to stay in your pants while he keeps you on your toes. [Read: What are we? Getting your crush to label your relationship]

#6 Doesn’t invite you out. Do you know his group of friends? Have you ever seen them? If he doesn’t introduce you to his friends, that’s not a good sign. Think about it, when you really like a guy, you introduce them to your friends for approval. Same goes with guys. They want to show their new girlfriend off and get the “okay” from the guys.

If he never invites you out, he doesn’t want you to be introduced to his friends. Why? Because you’re just for sex and he’s just using you. Nothing more.

#7 Doesn’t kiss you outside the bedroom. Of course, he kisses you romantically and sensually when you two are in the bedroom. However, what happens when the lights are turned on and you’re in public? Does he kiss you sweetly on the cheek? Show any form of affection? No?

If he won’t touch or kiss you in public, it’s because he doesn’t want to appear as if he’s taken. He wants to look single. Why? So he can still get other girls. Unless he doesn’t like PDA; however, I would be leery of that excuse. [Read: The science behind craving them more when you feel ignored]

#8 Doesn’t talk about anything personal. Does he know what you’re taking in school? Does he know your favorite color is magenta? Probably not. Because he doesn’t care. He doesn’t need to know this information, I mean, what for? You guys are just sleeping together. Personal information is useless in the bedroom unless it’s sexually related. If he doesn’t want to get to know you, he’s not interested in being with you.

#9 He never pays. Okay, the guy doesn’t have to pay for everything. Usually though when a guy is interested in you, they’ll treat you to a movie or dinner. I know, you pay for your own food, I get that, but if he’s always making you pay, something’s definitely wrong there.

People who double-dutch everything are friends. Strictly friends. But in this case, he got off lucky—he doesn’t have to pay for anything and he still gets booty. He’s just using you and he gets a pretty good deal at the same time, eh? [Read: 17 sordid signs you’re just a hookup and nothing more]

#10 He’s always on his phone. When you’re with him and he’s running off to get his incoming call or answer texts, that’s a big sign you’re not the only one. If he’s interested in you, he’d put his phone away and spend the time with you. Instead, he’s busy arranging his next booty call, which isn’t cool. Also, if he’s always on his phone, this just shows how much he respects you—which isn’t much. [Read: The pain of loving someone who doesn’t love you back]

#11 You have the gut feeling. Ladies, you already know. I can show you all the signs, and you can pick and analyze through it but in your gut, you know the truth. You know what your relationship status is and you know exactly what he wants. You may really like him, but the feeling isn’t mutual.

Letting go of something is hard, and I know from experience, letting go of someone who isn’t treating you right is surprisingly harder. But while you’re wasting your time on him, you’re missing out on a great guy.

[Read: Backburner babe – 14 signs you’re definitely nothing more than a backup lover]

Accepting the fact the guy you like is using you is hard. It hurts your feelings and ego. Once you see he’s just using you, you’ll be able to end the relationship and find someone who wants to get to know you. You know you can do better, girl!

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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