The art of idle chit-chat with a guy is not always an easy thing to perfect. So we have 10 ways to keep a conversation going with a guy.
Guys are funny creatures, aren’t they? How nice would it be if you could just talk to a guy like you talk to a girl? Trying to keep a conversation going with a guy is challenging at times but not impossible with some work.
Very few men are given the gift of gab, which makes it difficult to form a relationship with them. Let alone keeping the conversation going after it is already established.
At the beginning of a relationship, you both have so much to say. You want to tell all your funny stories, all your holiday nightmares, and about all the important things in life. The problem is that at some point, you will tell them all.
Ten ways to keep the conversation going with a guy
The worst thing is to one day find yourself sitting next to the man you love and having absolutely nothing to talk about. It makes you want to avoid each other, which only makes it more problematic.
If you want to know how to keep a conversation going with a guy, these are the tips to make the words continue to roll off his tongue. So, what if he isn’t a “talker,” you can get him to open up if you know the right triggers to keep him engaged.
#1 Be silent. I know, that goes against everything you ever lived. Sometimes, the guys in our lives don’t talk because you never give them the opportunity to get the mic. If you want to keep him talking, then let him do the talking. Ask him a question and don’t interrupt or interject. Just sit back and listen. [Read: 10 ways to be a better listener in your relationship]
#2 Continue to ask questions. Okay, every man in the room is probably rolling his eyes with this advice. Guys HATE questions. That is for real. The reason they hate them is because they don’t want to be put in uncomfortable situations like being asked about their “feelings.”
Guys are all over you asking about the difficult situation they bailed everyone out of at work. Ask questions, but always keep them tailored to hear about things he wants to talk about, not things you have to pry from him. [Read: 40 things to ask a guy that’ll leave him crazy about you]
#3 Don’t dig, but guide. Guys don’t like when they feel pumped for information. If they brought up a subject, they must want to talk about it. The key to keeping a conversation going means listening with intention without digging.
When a guy tells you about his day, he is going to go through a specific story. There are going to be parts you can ask him to elaborate on. Listen carefully to where the story is going, guiding him to continue to talk in more detail about the important parts. [Read: Before going further – 30 deep questions to ask your boyfriend]
#4 Keep it light. No guy wants to argue. In fact, their entire intention when talking to women is to avoid conflict *at least most*. Try not to press hot-button issues and avoid things you know make him angry or clam up.
Guys all have buttons, which when pressed, it is like you shut off their ability to make noise. If you want to make a conversation last, keep it light and avoid any opinionated or serious topics that have him shutting up and shutting down.
#5 Do things together. If you want to make a conversation last, then you need to have things in common. If all he ever does is work, and all you ever do is go to PTO meetings or doctor’s appointments with the kids, you certainly aren’t going to have much to talk about.
The less you have in common or the fewer shared experiences that you have, the harder it is going to be to keep a conversation going. It is critical to find things you like to do together and get away to reconnect.
#6 Ask about his interests. Sure, you couldn’t care less about the 1090A he had to finish for a big client early this morning, but he does. In his world, that is about the only thing that comprised his day. If you only want to talk about things that excite or relate to you, then it is going to be a short-lived conversation.
The art of conversation is finding something a person wants to talk about, listen, and then have it veer off into something you would both like to discuss.
The key is to get him engaged. Make him feel as if you care what he has to say instead of just going through the laundry list of things you want to get out, have to talk about, or want to discuss. [Read: 9 conversation no-no’s in a new relationship]
#7 Don’t make it a bitch session. Often, ahem, women… we tend to use conversation time as a “list time.” When we want to talk, what do we start with? Typically, we start with all the bad things that happened either with the kids, the house, or with our cars. Wanting to get the important affairs out of the way, we put it all out there.
What that does is overwhelm a guy, and from that point on, all he hears is criticism and negativity. That may have him finding ways to escape.
If you want to keep a conversation going, then lead with pleasant, positive, and nice things. Save the laundry list for a real list you discuss for ten minutes in the morning, not when you are trying to have a conversation to reconnect. [Read: 14 awkward questions you should never ask a guy]
#8 Include other people. If you are having a hard time having a conversation, invite some friends over for a dinner party. Talking with your significant other doesn’t have to mean you go out on a date and sit and talk for hours on end. There is nothing better than putting some other people in the mix to keep the conversation going.
Even better, once they are gone, you have plenty to talk about. Talk about the people you had over. Inviting other people into your conversation is an excellent way to connect verbally. Although maybe not as intimately, it leads to more conversation in the future. [Read: 13 outrageous, fun, and spunky party themes for adults]
#9 Turn off the distractions. It is difficult to keep a conversation going with a guy when the television blares in the background or one of your phones keeps blowing up.
If you want to keep a conversation going, find a quiet place without continual distractions. When you become parents, that becomes tougher to do. That is why it is necessary to try to spend alone time away from the house together before you forget how to communicate with one another.
#10 Talk about abstract things. Sometimes we live way too much in our heads, mulling over the day-to-day stressors. We have a hard time getting down to a time when we would just talk about our dreams and hopes for the future. [Read: How to stop overthinking: 11 strategies for more peace]
If you want to get the conversation started again, try talking about the future and goals or dreams you have, more abstract than a promotion. Talk about a time when things were easier, or your individual “pie in the sky wants” and couple dreams, like that dream house you always wanted.
Dreams are a powerful tool for conversation. They lighten things and make people touch on the happiness they forgot, hidden under all that daily nonsense.
It is hard when you find yourself with your mate and realize you have absolutely nothing to talk about. Fear not, every long-term relationship goes through a time when they feel as if they have said all that they can say.
If you’re wondering how to keep a conversation going with a guy, remember that guys aren’t always the easiest creatures to talk to, but if you are patient, avoid triggers, and really stop to listen, you may just find that they have a wealth of things to talk about.
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