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20 Sexy Ways to Tell a Guy You Want to Have Sex & Not Feel Slutty

You’re hot for him, and you can’t wait to jump his bones. But he’s not making the first move. So, here’s how to tell a guy you want to have sex with him.

how to tell a guy you want to have sex with him

There comes this moment when you feel ready to have sex with someone. It could be a casual desire, after the first date or the tenth, but the point is, you feel that it’s time. That’s great! This means you developed trust with this person and you feel comfortable around them. Now you need to know how to tell a guy you want to have sex with him.

Of course, if he dates you, he’s interested in having sex with you, but he’s not pressuring you—which is good.

Now, in some cases, you may not be dating and yet, there’ll be a moment where he looks at you and you look at him—both giving each other the “I’m ready to have sex” look. If that happens, there probably won’t be much talking.

[Read: How to get a guy to kiss you when you want him to]

Does a guy want you to tell him you want to have sex with him?

As most of us have heard through the years, most people suggest letting the man take the lead in a relationship. However, that is so last century!

Women are liberated, and that includes sexuality too. So, it’s definitely not a bad thing if a woman wants to make the moves first.

Believe it or not, a lot of men like it when a woman asks them out, takes the lead, and does all the things to progress a relationship along. Even if you’re not in a relationship with him, he still likes the fact that he doesn’t have to do all the work. It makes it easy on him.

Many guys are relieved when a woman is more dominant than he is. It can get exhausting for him to always be the one who is texting, calling, suggesting dates, and trying to figure out how to get you into bed. 

Plus, not all guys are confident. Some of them are actually quite shy and don’t know how to ask a woman out or get her to have sex with him.

So, in that case, men really enjoy it when a woman wants to tell him that she wants to get down and dirty with him. [Read: Dominant girlfriend – the pros and cons of dating a woman in control]

So, as you can see, not only do guys like it when you are more forward, they welcome it. If you have been on the fence about how to tell a guy you want to have sex with him, now is the time to go for it! 

[Read: How to prepare for sex – 20 things you MUST do to enjoy it way more]

How to tell a guy you want to have sex with him

Men aren’t mind readers. It’s always a good idea to see if they’re ready as well.

We like to assume guys are always ready for sex, but you shouldn’t assume that. Not every guy you meet is ready to have sex right away. It’s always good to tell him that you’re ready and give him the opportunity to think about it or reciprocate your moves.

We all wanted equality between genders, right? So, this is the first step. Don’t treat guys as stereotyped honry goats, treat them as individuals. Don’t feel awkward, you must have this chat. [Read: 33 sexy ways to seduce a man who’s not yet yours and hook him hard]

The casual and serious ways to ask a guy to have sex with you

There are two ways to approach this.

Do you want to just sleep with a guy? Are you looking for something casual? Do you want to hook up but stay completely unattached?

Or is this a serious boyfriend and a committed relationship?

If you’re in a committed relationship, and are deciding to have sex with your boyfriend for the first time, you need to take the long approach *we’ll get to that below*.

On the other hand, if it’s something casual, you need to keep it casual. There are no rules there *well, except safe sex, obviously!*

So let’s talk about casual sex propositions first, before we talk about how to tell your boyfriend you want to have sex with him.

[Read: Just the tip sex – Why guys use this excuse and why girls always fall for it]

How to ask a guy to have sex with you when it’s just casual

If you’re looking for casual sex, you’re probably *hopefully* experienced enough to separate sex from love and just enjoy it for what it is – consensual sex between two non-committed adults. If that’s the case, read on to know the best ways to get a guy to have sex in the most casual ways possible.

1. First, have the talk with yourself

Before you consider talking to him about sex, have you thought about yourself? Do you want to have sex with him? Are you ready?

Casual sex is common and most of us have done it, but even in those circumstances, it’s important to ask yourself if you actually want to do it. Sometimes we get caught up in the moment and then realize it wasn’t what we really wanted at all. [Read: How to date casually and sleep around without getting attached – 25 hurt-free rules]

2. Tell him in person

The best way to tell a guy you want to have sex with him is in person. That way, you see his facial expressions, and, if he’s ready to have sex, well, you don’t have to wait.

Talking to him in person is always best. That way, you discuss the topic more thoroughly. Also, talk about contraception and emergency plans in case you become pregnant. You may feel uncomfortable talking about it, but you should.

3. Start a sexy conversation over text

If you’ve been texting each other, and getting a bit flirty now and then as well, it’s very easy to subtly drop a few hints and see how he reciprocates. Make a few subtle yet suggestive remarks, and watch how he responds. If he’s into you, he’ll definitely get the hint and make it pretty clear he wants to sleep with you.

Don’t know how to start this awkward, yet sexy conversation? Use these 20 dirty questions to text a guy and seduce him within the next hour!

4. Spend time with him

If you don’t spend time with the guy, how do you expect him to know you want to have sex with him?

This may seem like a no-brainer, but you can’t just text or talk through social media all the time and expect him to get the message. In order to have sex, you need to be with him in person!

So before you ask a guy to have sex with you, make sure you’ve spent some alone time with each other. That’s the fastest way to build sexual tension. [Read: 20 strong signs of sexual tension to know you make each other horny]

5. Flirt with him in person

When you are spending time with him – flirt! Compliment him and sit close to him. Tell him how big his muscles are or how you love the way he smells.

Smile a lot and look at him deep into his eyes. Laugh at all of his jokes and make him feel like a king. He will get the hint after all of this flirting. [Read: How to flirt with a guy subtly without really flirting at all]

6. Touch him

Nonverbal communication is very powerful. In fact, it accounts for about 90% of the meaning of a message.

So, you should use the power of your touch to let him know how you feel. Touch his thigh or the back of his neck while sitting next to him. Whisper something into his ear so you can touch his hair. Touching him will get him aroused too. [Read: 20 subtle ways to touch a guy and turn him on – while hanging out and in bed]

7. Seduce him

Let’s say that you are dating him *or even if you’re not* but you haven’t had sex with him yet. You could invite him over, light some candles, put some romantic music on, and spread some rose petals on the bed. If this isn’t a clear sign for how to tell a guy you want to have sex with him, then nothing is!

8. Hang out and get cozy

When you hang out, you can get cozy and cuddle with him. Hopefully, you have a couch that is big enough to fit the two of you so you can do that.

If you don’t, then throw a pillow and blanket on the floor and invite him down there to join you. Snuggle up close to him and put your head on his shoulder. He will know what you’re thinking! [Read: How to cuddle with a guy – Snuggle secrets you have to know]

9. Sit close to him

You don’t have to be on the couch or a bed in order to close the physical distance between the two of you.

It doesn’t matter where you are, you should try to sit as close to him as possible. When you do that, it maximizes the chances you have to touch him and let him know that you want to have sex with him. [Read: How to make a guy horny and rock hard just by casually sitting next to him]

10. Netflix and chill

Everyone knows what the words “Netflix and chill” means, right? Okay, maybe your grandma doesn’t know, but everyone else does.

So, if you just use those exact words, “Do you want to come over and Netflix and chill?” that is code for “let’s have sex” and everyone knows it. Just come right out and say that to him, and he’ll know that you want to have sex with him.

11. Get him to stay over

You can get creative and find a time or create a situation where you have to sleep under the same roof. If a concert is going to be happening in a town a couple of hours away from you, invite him and then stay in a hotel together.

Or, if you live farther apart, you could invite him over to your side of town, have drinks, and then suggest he stay over so that he doesn’t drink and drive. [Read: 25 seductive moves to turn a guy on immediately and almost effortlessly]

And so there you have it, casual sex 101, if you want to seduce a guy and ask him to have sex with you. If you use any of these moves we’ve shared here, you’ll see that learning how to tell a guy you want to have sex with him would be one of the easiest things to do!

How to tell your boyfriend you want to have sex with him

Now that we’ve discussed how to tell a guy you want to have sex with him when it’s strictly casual, let’s get to the relationship side of things.

You’re dating a guy, things are getting serious and romantic, but he’s holding himself back. You’re ready to have sex, but he’s probably not sure if you’re okay with it, so he’s patiently waiting for the right time.

Casual sex is easy, if a guy isn’t interested, no big deal. But when you’re in love and in a new but serious relationship with someone, everything changes – the stakes are higher and you don’t want to rush things.

If you want to tell your guy you want to have sex, and find out if he’s ready for it as well, just follow these steps. [Read: Having sex with someone new for the first time? The 14 must-follow rules]

1. Ask him his opinion about sex

Before telling him you’re ready for sex, first, ask what he thinks about sex. You don’t know, maybe he wants to wait for marriage!

So, asking him what he thinks helps you decide how to tell a guy you want to have sex and that you’re ready. If you’re ready and he’s not, you’re on two different pages. Then you decide whether you want to wait for him or to move on.

That sounded harsh, but, let’s be realistic. If he wants to wait for marriage and you don’t, you may wait for a long time *of course, unless you’re deeply in love with him, then it’s worth the wait*. [Read: The 12 consequences of having sex too soon]

2. Don’t do it in front of people

This isn’t a conversation to talk about in front of your friends, no matter how close they are. Some relationship topics are okay to talk about in public, but this isn’t one of them. Sex is very intimate and personal. 

By talking about it in public, you no longer provide a safe space for your guy to open up to you and be honest. You don’t know his answer, so, it’s best to do it in a space that is private. [Read: Can a girl ask a guy out before he asks her?]

3. Tell him you’re ready

If you’re uncomfortable with telling a guy you want to have sex with him, maybe you’re not ready yet? There’s really no way around this than to just tell him, “I’m ready to have sex.” That’s what consent is all about.

He may not be able to pick up on your subtle clues, and honestly, communication is crucial. So if you’re not comfortable talking to him about this, maybe you should reconsider having sex with him. [Read: First time sex and the virgin’s guide to nailing it]

4. Ask him if he’s ready

So, when you sit down with him, you’re probably going to tell him, “I’m ready to start having sex,” or “I’d like to have sex with you.” These are strong, assertive, and clear sentences. But, how does he feel? 

So, at the end of those sentences, ask him, “Would you be into that?” or “How do you feel about this idea?” You need to ask him if he’s ready because everyone is ready at their own time. [Read: 26 very obvious signs a man is attracted to you sexually and wants you]

5. Avoid texting about this if you can

Texting works very well, but instead of actually having a real conversation with the guy, you’ll only make him horny and get horny yourself! If you’re deciding to have sex with the first time with this guy, and you want to tell him you want to have sex, maybe it isn’t such a bad idea to just wait to talk about it in person first.

By talking face to face, you can actually talk about all the little but important details instead of brushing them under the carpet and hoping for the best when you hook up with him. [Read: Sexy and dirty texts to send a guy and get him to have sex with you within the next hour!]

6. You can text him if you’re nervous

This may be a contradiction to the earlier suggestion, but if you’re too nervous or just can’t bring yourself to tell him you want to have sex with him, maybe a well-planned text is just the thing you need.

Use these 20 sexual questions to ask a guy to reveal what he’s like in bed. Just ask him a few casual questions over text, and somewhere along the way, slip in a few suggestive questions from the list of sexual questions.

You don’t have to tell him you want to have sex with him right away, but as you text the questions, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to make it very clear that you want to bang him! [Read: How to get a guy to sleep with you without sounding desperate]

7. Write it down

You can always send him a sweet and honest handwritten letter instead. It can be seen as much more personal than a text message and you’ll be able to write everything down rather than sending him a giant essay-length text message. 

Don’t make the note heavy, instead, keep it light-hearted but honest. He’ll be able to read the note somewhere private on his own time.

8. Make a move

Now, this doesn’t mean you should rip his pants off. What we mean is to kiss him and touch him playfully. However, before you go further, check with him and see if it’s okay to progress further. 

So, ask him, “Do you want to take this further?” If you notice he’s nervous, ask him if he’s okay and that you can slow down. [Read: How to make love to a man – 31 hot ways to make him cry with passion]

9. Wait for a special occasion

Sometimes it works best if you wait for a special occasion such as their birthday or a specific holiday. This could be a good time to tell him that you want to have sex. In addition, it makes the event even more special and memorable for him, especially if he wants to start having sex as well.

[Read: The complete guide to tell you how many dates you should wait before having sex]

You think sex is just as easy as 1, 2, 3, but it’s not. Before having sex, make sure both of you are ready. But once you learn how to tell a guy you want to have sex, it’s time to focus on the fun part.

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...