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How to Play Mind Games With a Guy Over Text & Stop Him From Using You

If you know how to play mind games with a guy, then it gives you more power. So, if you want to know some strategies, read on to find out.

how to play mind games with a guy over text

Ah, the modern texting game. It’s confusing. It’s a battle of wills. If you let it, it will literally drive you crazy. It might have you wondering how to play mind games with a guy over text.

Men seem to have this game down pat. How many times have you been happily messaging a guy you’ve recently met – at first he messages quite a lot. He messages ‘good morning’, and ‘goodnight’. It’s all good times and smiles – then he goes quiet. We’ve all been there.

Do you wonder whether he’s changed his mind about you? Did you get it all wrong, or is his phone broken, or is he in a life-threatening condition in a local hospital? Every possibility goes through your mind. 

However, the likelihood is that his phone is working perfectly fine, and he’s fit and healthy. Nothing untoward has happened to him at all. He’s just playing games with you.

[Read: Why is he leading you on? How to understand the games he’s playing]

Why do people play mind games? 

Playing mind games doesn’t seem like a nice thing to do. So, why do people do it? There are a variety of reasons, but here are some of the most common ones:

1. It boosts their ego

A lot of people don’t feel very good about themselves, and have low self-esteem. They might put on a nonchalant act, but they really want people to like them.

So, by making you worry about whether they like you or having you chase them, they can enjoy the feeling of being desired. It makes them feel better about themselves.

2. It’s a power play

When they don’t reply to texts or call you back, they know they have an influence over you. They might like that feeling of being in control. They might not have much control in other areas of their lives, so that’s why they feel better when they have the upper hand over you.

3. They see you as a challenge

Believe it or not, a lot of men like a challenge. They enjoy the “chase”, and it’s fun for a lot of guys.

They try to impress you to “get” you, and then when you start liking them, they lose interest. Maybe you are no longer a challenge to him anymore. [Read: How to make a man chase you – 20 subtle ways to get him to fall hard]

4. They like and need validation

Girls aren’t the only ones who need validation – guys do too. If he has low self-esteem, then the validation or compliments you give him make him feel better.

So, if he appears to be uninterested in you, then he enjoys the panic in you over him and gets validation that he’s worthy.

5. They just want sex

Let’s face it – guys like sex. And some of them don’t want a real, committed, healthy relationship. All they want is a hookup, and so they behave in an uncaring way that makes them seem like they are playing mind games. They feel a sense of entitlement and think that sex is a trophy that they deserve after “winning” you.

6. To be the alpha male

A lot of men want to be dominant in general, but especially over women. So, they think that if they play mind games with you, they can keep you in check. They are the top dog, making you submissive. [Read: Dating an alpha male – 10 tips to remember for a happily ever after]

7. They want something from you

A person might want or need something from you, and they think that playing mind games will help you give it up.

For example, if he needs money, playing games could be a way to get you to loan him some without him asking you directly for it.

8. They think it’s fun

This sounds pretty cruel and sadistic, and it is. Some people just enjoy hurting others. They like seeing people squirm. It makes them happy to disturb your peaceful life; these kinds of people have absolutely no empathy.

9. They don’t like being vulnerable

Maybe they have been hurt at some point in their lives and they don’t want to feel that way ever again. So, they are overly cautious with their feelings. They show interest in you, but when you start liking them back, they get scared and pull away. [Read: How to make an emotionally unavailable man fall in love]

10. To test you

Maybe this man isn’t very trusting, and he thinks that playing games with you is the only way to get you to show your true colors.

He wants to see if you are a loyal person, and are serious about him. If he’s doing that, then it’s not about you. It’s about the baggage he has from his past.

Do mind games work?

This isn’t an easy question to answer because everyone is different. But for most people, mind games usually work. Men don’t want to feel bad about themselves, so they play right along to make themselves feel good.

However, if someone is wise and emotionally intelligent, they will sometimes notice the mind-game behavior and refuse to play along. These are the people with high self-esteem. They think mind games are stupid and are too mature to participate in them. [Read: How to play a guy at his own games and make him feel miserable]

How to play mind games with a guy over text

If you’ve ever been text-played by a guy, learn how to turn the tables. It’s time we figured this out and started playing games right back! Leave him wondering what’s going on with you instead!

There are a few ways to do this, but it all comes down to keeping him on his toes, guessing, and very confused. Then, just at the point when you think he’s going to give up, you become your charming self once more.

Now, I’d like to say here and now that I do not generally advocate game-playing in relationships, or with crushes. It can be a waste of time. However, I have been on the receiving end of text mind games in the past – sometimes revenge is a little sweet!

[Read: How to make him regret hurting you]

First things first, have a rapport going with a guy over text. There needs to be a regular amount of chatting back and forth for this to work. You basically get him thinking that everything is fine, nothing to worry about, and he’s got you pretty much where he wants you. However, within this, there are some rules.

Never be the one to text first and never reply immediately. If you do this, in the eyes of a guy, you look over-eager. You might think it’s nice to text first and reply quickly, but that is exactly why I have ended up on the receiving end of mind games in the past! Learn from my mistakes.

When he texts, leave it a while before you reply. An hour if you can, possibly more if you want to be really mean.

However, when you do reply, be your normal self. Don’t be cold or aloof, or you’ll make him think that you’re just not interested at all, and he’s likely to stop texting altogether. [Read: How to play a guy at his own game and make him feel miserable]

The “accidental” text

There is one tactic that usually works wonderfully well every time: the “accidental” text. Of course, it’s not accidental at all. It’s completely intentional, but he doesn’t need to know that!

The “accidental” text bears no meaning to the conversation you’re having. Instead, it was “meant for someone else.” Oops, sorry! Of course, there is no other conversation going on, you’re just playing games with him. [Read: The accidental text… on purpose – How to use it and when to avoid it]

This is one of the best ways to learn how to play mind games with a guy over text. The first thing he’s going to wonder is “well, who was it meant for?” He’s going to think that you’re talking to other guys, potentially. It’s likely to make him jealous.

Now, do be aware that this could go either way. Understanding how to play mind games with a guy over text doesn’t come with guarantees. There is inherent risk attached to it. 

He could easily shrug his shoulders and decide he can’t be bothered with this, or he could decide he’s going play games right back, causing you to end up back at square one. It’s a game of nerves in so many ways! [Read: Guys who play games – How to recognize them and deal with them]

Back to the so-called “accidental” text for a second. You could put “yeah, I really enjoyed it too” and a smiling face, and “accidentally” send it to him. He’ll wonder what you enjoyed and with whom!

When you do this, make sure it’s something you can explain away as nothing. In this case, you could say that you meant to send it to your friend, about the wine-and-nachos night you had the previous evening. Platonic. Nothing to worry about. However, he will have panicked for a second.

If you flirt back and forth, perhaps even casually dating but not actually serious yet, the idea that you could be talking to or seeing other guys could be a wake-up call. In some cases, this could push him to ask himself what he really wants to come of your dating situation. 

Again, it could push you towards something serious. It could just give him the little nudge that he needs!

[Read: How to get a guy to stop playing games with your feelings]

Chit-chat, quiet…

The biggest mind games I’ve had from guys in the past have always come in the form of being super-chatty for a while. Then they go quiet when I reciprocate the chattiness. I mean, what do they want exactly?

You can turn the tables here too. Learning how to play mind games with a guy over text is about doing to him what he’s done to you in the past. Again, I’m not saying I agree with it, but there’s a time and place for everything in life!

In this case, you would be as chatty as normal for a while… and then go a little quiet. Take longer to reply. Don’t reply with as much information as before. Then mix it up, and be super-chatty again. 

It’s a confusing tactic that actually works wonders. By doing so, you keep him questioning what’s going on in your life to make you so distracted. [Read: Playing games in a relationship – When it’s okay and when it really harms you]

When learning how to play mind games with a guy over text, know when to stop and calm things down. Remember, playing mind games is a form of manipulation. I’m not an advocate of that! 

Ask yourself why you want to play mind games and whether or not it’s a healthy situation to be in. I would argue that it’s usually not, but I can understand why sometimes you might just want to return the game-playing he’s done to you in the past.

We play games in general because we’re not sure what is going on. It’s far more sensible to just communicate. So, while the above tips will definitely get a reaction, you should be aware that it might not be the reaction you’re after!

[Read: Why do guys come back when you ignore them? Unveiling their mind games]

Learning how to play mind games with a guy over text is a risky business. It’s something everyone has had happen to them in the past. So if you really do want to use this tactic, use caution too!

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...
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