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FWB to Relationship: 15 Ways to Get a Friend With Benefits to Fall in Love

You want to move your FWB to a relationship, but you don’t know how to do it. Here’s how you can make him fall in love and want to get serious with you.

fwb to relationship make friend with benefits fall in love

The friends with benefits arrangement is usually a mutually beneficial scenario for both parties that entails no-strings-attached sex, and a stress-free way to enjoy the company of the opposite sex. However, when one of you is secretly dying inside because you want your friend with benefits to fall in love with you, or go from FWB to a relationship, but the other person is totally fine with the way things are, it no longer seems like the most favorable situation.

Instead, you might feel stuck and unable to look for love elsewhere because you’re so wrapped up in him. You may simultaneously feel equally incapable of letting go of this unhealthy one-way street. 

Can a FWB turn into a relationship?

You might be wondering if it’s even possible for a friends-with-benefits situation to turn into love – for both people.

As you know, the problem with this situation is that the people get so caught up in the no-strings-attached sex that you sometimes end up feeling stuck with the FWB label.

But now that you are developing feelings for your friend with benefits, what should you do? Can it turn into love?

The short answer is… yes. It can. But it doesn’t always.

First, you need to understand why this guy might prefer to be in a FWB situation over a real relationship. So, let’s take a look at what a FWB situation means to a guy.

[Read: How to tell when a FWB is catching feelings – 20 signs they like you]

What does FWB mean to a guy?

Not surprisingly, a FWB situation is usually great for a guy. If he’s not looking for a serious relationship and prefers to just have fun without commitment, then this arrangement might seem ideal to him.

Why is it good for him? Well, he gets the sex he craves without having to deal with the expectations of having a real girlfriend. You’ve probably heard the phrase, “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” You get the point.

You see, to a guy, a FWB situation means he can have sex regularly and he also gets to keep his freedom, independence, and single status. Plus, he can also keep dating other women because he’s not committed to you or anyone else. [Read: What does FWB mean to a guy – Do guys get hooked?]

This is not ideal for the girl because he’s keeping his options open. He can still have sex with you and hang out with you while he’s looking for someone else that he might want to commit to. That might sound harsh, but in a lot of cases, it’s true.

Most men are really good at casual dating without developing any feelings for the girls. On the other hand, as you know, women aren’t as good at doing that. 

And there lies the problem. While you’re getting emotionally attached and wondering how to move your FWB situation to a relationship, he might just see you as a booty call. That’s why it’s not always an ideal arrangement for women. [Read: Are we dating? 22 cute signs you’re more than just friends or a hookup]

Do guys ever want a relationship with their FWB?

Sure, a guy can fall in love with his FWB. It’s entirely possible. But does that mean that your FWB will? Maybe, but maybe not. It just really depends on him as an individual.

On the positive side, however, sex is a very intimate experience. And science tells us that it creates hormones in both men and women that help create a deeper emotional bond.

So, because of that, it’s possible for a man to develop feelings for you because he’s sleeping with you. And if you spend a lot of time together and are close friends, then that makes it even more likely.

So, if the two of you spend a lot of time outside the bedroom and hang out like you’re true friends, then it will be more likely for the FWB to turn into a relationship. Even though that’s not an official relationship, it’s definitely a level above a strictly FWB arrangement. [Read: How to make your hookup miss you – 26 pros, cons, and ways to hook them]

The key is that he has to see you as a fun, genuine, and good person. Then he’ll be more likely to want to spend more time with you – which makes it more possible for him to develop feelings for you.

When this happens, he’ll have to look at his options and figure out for himself what’s most important to him. Does he want his independence? Or does he want a relationship with you? Once he realizes that you are great together both in and out of bed, he’ll probably decide that you can be a wonderful couple. [Read: The must-know FWB rules to make sure you or your friend don’t end up hurt or betrayed]

So, now we’re going to tell you how to do that.

How to go from FWB to a relationship

There are a few tactics that can help wake him up and get him to think of you as girlfriend material. If you make the right moves and refrain from sabotaging your chances with him, you could be on your way to the relationship you have been secretly yearning for. [Read: 16 signs you’re not yet ready for a serious relationship]

The following tips will put you a step ahead of the game, and have him thinking he was in love with you all this time and just didn’t know it yet.

1. Check the signs

The first thing you need to figure out is if he’s into you in any way, or if he’s just mixing sweat with a new girl every night? You want to make sure he likes you on some other level.

He may even be wanting the same thing as you, but he’s unsure whether or not you are:

a) too promiscuous

b) not into him like that

c) sex-crazed and he was the first thing to come along, or

d) using him to get over someone or make someone else jealous.

When a guy is into his friend with benefits for more than just the benefits, he will show it in a variety of ways.

If he introduces you to a few of his friends, voluntarily tells you he’s not seeing anyone else, spends time with you before or after sex, and never talks about other girls, this is a good indicator.

It’s a bonus if he puts you in a future tense plan, such as suggesting to take you somewhere in the distant future.

While not all of these cues mean he definitely wants a relationship with you, they can signal that he thinks of you as more than just a sex partner. He may just be going with the flow to see how things grow between the two of you before asking you out. [Read: 20 signs that say he’s in love with you]

2. Go MIA at the right time

Shake him up a little bit here and there, and just fall off the map for a bit. You can achieve this by responding to one of his messages the day after it was sent. This tactic makes it look like you are obviously preoccupied with something else that isn’t him.

In his mind, you could be sleeping with someone else, getting back with an ex-boyfriend, or meeting someone new whom you want to date. All of the above could scare him into getting closer to you, for fear of losing your attention to another guy.

3. Don’t be too available

Being too available makes you look easy. Being a friend with benefits already puts you at a slight disadvantage of being seen as promiscuous anyway, but always being available makes you look like a sex toy that keeps coming back for more.

That’s not what you’re going for here if you want him as a future boyfriend. [Read: 35 tempting ways to make a guy want you and dream of dating you]

4. Have your fair share of meaningful conversations

Having conversations that don’t revolve around sex is a good way of letting a guy know who you really are, apart from how you are in bed.

Having a deep conversation or talking about life can help the two of you bond on a deeper level, and it will help keep the relationship from being just about sex.

5. Reveal your true colors

In order to go from FWB to a relationship, show him that you are a good person, and you have standards. Never let him think that you’re desperate or insecure, or that you need sex to fulfill some kind of emotional void.

Instead, show him that you are a caring person, but also an independent woman with sexual needs, who isn’t afraid to get what she wants. This will make you look in control.

6. Subtly hint at your wifey side

Don’t start offering to do his laundry, or preparing him a five-course meal when he says he’s coming over for a quickie. Drop hints like “oh yeah, I forgot to call, I was just making lasagna,” or tell him you’re in the middle of cleaning and have to call him back.

This will show him that you have a traditional wifey side that he doesn’t have access to. If he knows that another guy got the full wifey treatment, but he can’t, this will bring out his competitive streak. He will want to have the same treatment that your ex did. [Read: Wife material – 25 clues guys look for to know if a girl is more than just dating material]

7. Be the best he’s ever had

When it comes to sex, remember that if he’s going to want to keep having sex while in a relationship with you, you’ve got to be the best he’s ever had, or at least come close. Get into it, show your full potential, don’t be lazy, and put in the effort to get what you want from it, too.

Also, make him put equal effort into pleasing you. If he has no concern for whether or not you get off as well, he’s not worth being in a relationship with.

8. Don’t look like you’re trying too hard

Never let him think you are trying too hard to please him, or that you care too much about what he thinks about you.

The less you seem to care about him, the more he will want you to. Give off the impression that you don’t need him, and he will be constantly trying to win your affection. [Read: 15 effortlessly simple ways to stay sexy at any age]

9. Practice saying no to anything you’re uncomfortable with

Don’t feel forced to do anything that you find degrading or offensive. Oftentimes, a man will lose respect for you if you willingly do sexual things that are considered degrading, offensive, discriminatory, or forced without your consent.

Learn to firmly say no, and consider walking away if you feel disrespected in any way. You will earn much more respect by making it blatantly clear what you will and will not put up with.

10. Don’t make him think you’re promiscuous

Never give him the impression that you are having sex with multiple guys in the same week, as he may label you as a whore, and your chances with him could go out the window.

Instead, if he asks, let him know that you’re only sleeping with him right now, but this doesn’t mean there isn’t someone else you may be crushing on. This could instill jealousy and make him fall for you.

11. Always wear your confidence on your sleeve

Always – that is one of the best ways to go from FWB to a relationship. Guys can’t help but fall in love with a confident woman, so never let him think you’re insecure enough to put up with anything, just to make him stay. [Read: High value woman – 20 traits that make men respect and be in awe of her]

12. Be mysterious and unpredictable

Text him back at random times, like 9 am the next day, or 3 pm the following day. You want to look unpredictable.

When he asks what you’re up to, be vague enough to induce an emotional response from him. If you are sitting at home and he asks, “Hey, are you home?” answer with, “not right now.”

A vague response looks incredibly mysterious. He’ll spend more time thinking about where you could be and what you might be doing, instead of being out with his buddies, bragging about how good you are in bed. You want him to think about you as much as possible, and not just in a sexual way. [Read: How to be mysterious and leave him smitten and craving for more]

13. Build a friendship

If you build a friendship with him where he feels he can let his guard down with you, it will form a great foundation for a relationship.

You can joke and laugh, no strings attached, no fights, nagging, or scrutinizing his opinion. He will want a girlfriend like that by his side for the long haul.

14. Show your uniqueness

He needs to think that you are a one-in-a-million kind of girl and that he’s so lucky that he actually has you around. If he feels like you are different from other women in any way, it will intrigue him, and he will want to win you over. [Read: 8 things you should never do to get him to like you]

15. Spend a lot of time with him outside the bedroom

As we said earlier, the only way a guy can develop feelings for you is if he gets to know you beyond sex. The more time you spend with him outside the bedroom doing things like going to the movies, grabbing dinner, or anything else, the more likely he will be able to see you as a potential girlfriend. But let him take the lead – never chase him or beg to see him.

[Read: 20 Signs your friends with benefits is falling for you and is in love]

Going from FWB to a relationship relies on how willing you are to play the game right and make him fall for you. But if you want your friend with benefits to fall in love with you, just make sure he’s worth all this effort!

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Carol Morgan LP
Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...