Home  >  Reads for Women  >  How To...

How to Let a Guy Down Easy: Non-Awkward Ways to Say No Kindly

how to let a guy down easy

It took a lot of courage for him to put it all out there, but… The good news is that knowing how to let a guy down easy won’t hurt so much with these ways.

Is there anything worse than having to tell a guy that you just don’t like him in “that” way. Although big and tough, most guys crumble when you tell them that you don’t have the same feelings for them. Men are emotional beings who hide behind their guard, but when hurt, they revert to a puddle. That is why we have these tips on how to let a guy down easy.

Of course, you don’t want to hurt him, but not telling him is hurting him. If you want to let a guy down easy, it is all in the delivery. It is not really what you say, but what he hears.

The strange thing about talking to a guy, they rarely hear what it is that you say, they hear what they want to hear. These are the best phrases to let a guy down easily and tell him that you don’t like him.

How to let a guy down: Top 10 ways to say “no, thanks”

If you don’t want to be rude and hurt a guy’s feelings, these 10 ways of turning him down makes the pill much easier to swallow.

#1 I just don’t think we have a whole lot in common. Pointing out that you don’t have anything in common takes away any feelings he may have about his misgivings, or that he isn’t good enough for you.

If you tell him that, for a relationship to flourish, you think people need to be more similar, he won’t see it as something wrong with him, but something outside of his control. [Read: See a friendship, not fireworks? How to friend zone a guy]

#2 I am just not into relationships. If you don’t want to tell him you aren’t into him, then use the excuse that you just aren’t into relationships. It sounds to him like it isn’t him that you don’t want to be with, but that you don’t want to be with anyone. Letting him keep his dignity and self-confidence intact, he leaves the relationship feeling as if it was just wrong timing and nothing about him personally.

#3 I’ve been hurt before and just am not ready to jump back in. Everyone relates to some traumatic event they have had in their past. If you tell him you have been hurt and are just “damaged goods,” he may actually think he is dodging a bullet.

No guy wants to fall into a relationship with someone who is a wounded bird. That only leads to having someone who is needy, clingy, and needs constant reassurance. If you tell him you have been hurt, it is likely something he can relate to and something he won’t take personally. [Read: Turning him down politely – A guide for nice girls]

#4 My career has to come first. Most guys want a girl who is independent, but they also want to know they are the bread winner. If you are someone who is on track for a high-powered career, he probably won’t think twice if you tell him your work comes first.

If you need a little additional information, make up some position involving you moving or being relocated, and that you wouldn’t want to start things with him and then have to leave or choose between him and a career.

Wanting to have it all in the corporate world won’t make him feel like it is something wrong with him. Telling him you have a path to follow now that doesn’t include a guy is the best way to let him down easy. [Read: The alpha female: 15 alpha you need to unleash it]

#5 I’m just really selfish right now. No guy wants to be with a girl who is selfish. If you say it in those terms and use those words, then he starts to see you in a whole new light. Clearly, if you are selfish and don’t want him, or a relationship with him, then it is all on you.

That won’t hurt his ego or make him think you don’t want him. Being into yourself is not a bad thing, nor is being selfish when you are young. It is the best excuse possible for not wanting to share by being in a relationship with someone.

#6 I think I should really focus on me. No matter what stage of life you are in, there comes a time when you have to step back and take care and focus on yourself. If you tell him being with someone only distracts you from focusing on making yourself a more successful and happy person, he won’t take it as a personal affront to who he is.

There are all sorts of reasons relationships aren’t good for us during times in our life. Make it clear that this is a time in your life where you really think it is better to focus on yourself and that anyone else around would just muck up the process. [Read: Single women: The tour de force taking over the world]

#7 I am still in love with my old boyfriend, and I don’t think it would be fair. No guy wants to be with a woman who is still in love with her ex. The truth is you can’t be in love with two people, especially not if you haven’t let go of your previous relationship.

Let him know your last ex is still on your mind, and you pine for the day he comes back to you. What he hears is that it doesn’t have anything to do with him as a person, but that you are simply not over the past guy in your life. The best part is that there is no way for him to know whether you are telling the truth or not. [Read: 14 no-fail ways to turn down any type of guy]

#8 You’re just too intellectual for me. This excuse probably will not work for most guys, because, let’s face it, most guys are not too intellectual for us. There are some, however, that are more into atoms than girls, yet they still like us.

If the guy who wants to win your heart is a geek, then this is the best way to give him a compliment and make him feel good about himself while letting him down easy. The truth is that he doesn’t have to be intellectual at all, he just has to think he is, and it works. [Read: How to reject a guy and turn him down in the nicest way possible]

#9 I have a five-year plan, and it doesn’t include a relationship. Girls are planners, and most guys know that. If you simply tell him you have a five-year plan, and it doesn’t involve a serious relationship, a romance, or kids, then it lets you off the hook to do anything more than go out on a date or two.

By the time he realizes that you don’t really have a five-year plan, likely he will be digging someone else’s chili, and you will be long gone. [Read: 15 ways to friend zone a guy without leading him on]

#10 You’re too good to, and for, me. Now this one you have to be careful with. If the guy is a two and you are a ten, you are going to have really to play with the words on this one. Finding an angle is important. You can’t simply say “you’re too good for me.” There has to be something about him too “good” or “important.”

If he does too many things for you, then you can say “all I do is take, you are too good to me, and I don’t think it is fair.” If he has found you flirting and confronts you, this is the perfect “you are right, you are too good for me” play at bat. It is all in the way you spin it and make it fit the scenario you are dealing with.

[Read: Get a guy to stop texting you: Perfect excuses and examples]

Knowing how to let a guy down easy is never really easy. You don’t want to hurt his feelings, after all, you know how much courage it took for him to put himself out there. Finding a way to leave his ego intact is the best way for things to go smoothly.

Liked what you just read? Like us on Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

Julie Keating
Julie Keating

A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...

Follow Julie on

Don't Miss this!


Latest in LovePanky


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *