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18 Secrets to Get What You Want from a Man & Make Him Want to Do It Happily

Your man isn’t capable of reading your mind, so it’s time to stop the mind games. Follow these techniques and tricks to get him to know just what you want!

How to Get What You Want from a Man

So, you’ve been squinting your eyes, furrowing your brow, and focusing all your mental energy to telepathically tell the man in your life what you want. And let us guess, he still hasn’t taken out the trash or planned that surprise weekend getaway, has he? The struggle is real when it comes to knowing how to get what you want from a man or getting him to do something you want!

You’re not alone in hoping telepathic signals could be the magic key in relationships. In fact, it’s a common misconception that many of us subscribe to. But alas, science hasn’t quite caught up with our Jedi mind-trick dreams just yet.

Don’t despair! In this guide on how to get what you want from a man, we’re going to explore why telepathy doesn’t quite cut it, and what actually does.

We’ll also unravel the practical methods to express your wants and needs. No psychic abilities are required, just some good old-fashioned wisdom and wit. Get ready to transform your relationship game!

Understanding the male brain *yes, it’s possible!*

The male brain, often regarded as one of life’s enigmas, is not as mysterious as it might seem. Despite the stereotypes, understanding how to get what you want from a man can be a journey of discovery rather than confusion.

First, let’s talk about gender differences in communication. It’s essential to recognize that men and women may have different ways of expressing themselves. Research by psychologists shows that these differences are often subtle, not stark contrasts as pop culture might suggest.

Insights from psychology shed light on men’s thinking and emotional processes. For example, men might be more task-oriented in their communication, focusing on solutions rather than delving into feelings. This doesn’t mean men are devoid of emotions, it’s just a different approach.

Understanding these differences plays a vital role in getting what you want from a man. By adapting our communication style and recognizing the nuances of how men think and feel, we can create more effective and empathetic interactions. [Read: Men vs. women – 44 psychological ways guys & girls think & behave differently]

Effective communication techniques – telepathy need not apply

Telepathy might seem like a neat trick, but it’s about as reliable as a phone with no signal. What really makes connections click are the practical, tried-and-true communication techniques.

These aren’t just words of wisdom, they’re backed by years of psychological research. Let’s dig in:

1. The magic of using your words

Plain and clear language can often do what mystical powers can’t. Expressing your feelings and desires verbally allows for a shared understanding. Think of words as your superpower, turning vague feelings into concrete thoughts that others can grasp. [Read:

In the language of love and relationships, your words are the bridges that connect your emotions to his understanding.

They dispel confusion, create clarity, and foster a connection that even the most skilled fictional telepath could only dream of.

2. Open and honest communication

The cornerstone of any relationship, being open and honest, creates trust. Psychology discoveries, such as B. Brown’s power of vulnerability theory, teach us that vulnerability leads to stronger connections, so don’t be shy to share your thoughts and feelings.

This candid connection fosters a deeper understanding, transforming mere acquaintances into partners in crime *or love!*.

Opening up doesn’t mean revealing all your deepest secrets on the first date, but it does mean letting your guard down and allowing yourself to be seen. It’s like inviting someone into your emotional living room, it might be a bit messy, but it’s real and it’s you. [Read: How to be vulnerable in a relationship, open up & 28 secrets to grow closer]

3. Assertiveness vs. aggression – finding the balance

Knowing how to ask for what you want without coming across as demanding is a fine art. Assertiveness communicates your needs without trampling over others, allowing for a dialogue that’s respectful and constructive.

Aggression, on the other hand, can shut down dialogue, creating barriers and fostering resentment.

Finding the balance means being clear and firm in expressing your desires while remaining mindful of the other person’s feelings and needs. It’s a practice that enriches relationships and turns potential conflicts into opportunities for growth and understanding.

4. Active listening

Active listening is not just about what you say, it’s also about how you listen.

Engaging actively with what your partner is saying is a vital step in learning how to get what you want from a man, as it builds empathy and shows that you truly care.

This practice goes beyond merely hearing the words. It’s about tuning into the underlying emotions and reflecting them. By really listening, you can understand your man’s feelings and desires, making it easier to communicate your own needs effectively. [Read: 19 ways to be a much better listener in a relationship & read their mind]

5. Understanding body language

A wink or a nod can sometimes say more than words. Understanding these cues adds a rich layer to communication and plays a significant role in how to get what you want from a man.

From a gentle touch to an eye-catching smile, non-verbal signals can convey feelings and intentions that words might fail to express. By tuning into these subtle hints and responding in kind, you create a more nuanced and connected dialogue with your man.

So, next time you’re in a conversation, pay attention to what’s not being said. [Read: Male body language – 48 subtle signs to instantly read a man’s thoughts]

6. Emotional intelligence *EI*

Tapping into emotions and using them in communication makes your interactions more resonant and meaningful. It’s not about manipulation, it’s about connection.

Emotional intelligence, or EI, is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage both your emotions and the emotions of others. When it comes to learning how to get what you want from a man, EI is a game-changer.

By engaging with emotions, you can navigate the waters of relationship dynamics with empathy and insight. It turns an ordinary conversation into a shared experience, where both you and your man feel seen, heard, and understood.

7. Avoiding communication barriers

Recognizing and avoiding jargon, assumptions, or overly complex language ensures that your message doesn’t get lost in translation. When trying to get what you want from a man, clarity is key. [Read: 42 secrets to communicate better in a relationship]

Let’s consider a situational example: Imagine you’re discussing weekend plans with your partner, and you say, “I thought it would be efficacious to synergize our schedules and utilize our leisure time to collaborate on a project.”

What you really meant was, “Let’s spend time together working on something fun this weekend.”

The jargon and complex language might make you sound like a business executive, but it can leave your partner scratching his head in confusion. [Read: 17 confident ways to be more assertive & speak your mind loud and clear]

The heart of communication, especially when you’re figuring out how to get what you want from a man, lies in being authentic and clear. You don’t need to dress up your words in fancy clothing, plain language often carries the deepest meaning.

8. Creating a safe space for dialogue

Encouraging open conversation where all thoughts and feelings can be expressed without judgment is like setting the stage for a heartfelt performance.

Imagine sitting down with your man and wanting to discuss something important to you. If he feels like he’s being put on the spot or criticized, the walls go up, and the conversation stalls.

Now picture a different scenario. You both settle into your favorite comfy chairs, a warm cup of tea in hand, and you begin by sharing something about your day.

You express that you want to talk about something and that his thoughts and feelings matter to you. The walls come down, the ears open up, and the dialogue flows.

Creating this safe space means fostering an environment of trust and respect, where both partners know that they can be open, vulnerable, and honest without fear of ridicule or dismissal. It’s about understanding how to get what you want from a man by recognizing his humanity and treating the conversation as a collaboration rather than a battle.

9. Understanding the art of non-verbal communication

Non-verbal cues can be powerful tools in a relationship, acting as a silent language that you and your man can develop together.

From a shared glance that sparks laughter to a gentle squeeze of the hand that says, “I’m here for you,” these gestures create a unique and intimate connection.

Learning to recognize and respond to these signals can elevate your communication and help you get what you want from a man. However, it’s essential to remember that non-verbal cues should complement verbal communication, not replace it.

While a well-timed smile can be worth a thousand words, clear and honest conversation is still the foundation of any strong relationship. [Read: 18 secrets to get a man to open up, communicate & understand you]

10. Trick him into thinking it’s all his idea *wink, wink*

Now, before you raise an eyebrow, this isn’t about deception but rather about presenting ideas in a way that resonates with his values and interests. It’s a playful nudge, not manipulation, and can lead to win-win outcomes.

A random example, perhaps you really want barbecue for dinner, but you cannot be bothered to do it yourself. It’s too much hassle and you’ve had a stressful day.

On the other hand, you know that he loves barbecue, so something like “That barbecue you did last week was so delicious.” Again, accompany it with a wishful look, “Thinking about it is making me really hungry.”

The chances are that he will link your strong hint and wishful look and swoop in to save the day. The difference here is that he will come up with the idea that you oh-so-cleverly planted in his brain. “I’ll do a barbecue for dinner” is likely to be his reply.

Common pitfalls and how to avoid them

Navigating the landscape of relationships can sometimes feel like wandering through a maze blindfolded. Especially when trying to get what you want from a man, some missteps might lead you astray.

But don’t worry, we’re here to guide you through the pitfalls. With a sprinkle of psychology and a dose of common sense, let’s explore what NOT to do:

1. Mistaking assumptions for facts

It’s a common human tendency to think we know what’s on someone else’s mind. In the pursuit of understanding how to get what you want from a man, this can be particularly tempting.

You might assume he knows what you want for your anniversary or that he understands why you were upset last night.

But assumptions are treacherous ground, often leading to misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts. They’re like mirages in the desert of communication – they look real, but they can lead you astray. [Read: Fear of confrontation – what it is, how it feels & 23 secrets to overcome it]

When you take assumptions as gospel, you close the door to genuine dialogue and understanding. Instead of assuming he didn’t do something because he doesn’t care, ask him openly: “I noticed you didn’t do X, can you help me understand why?”

2. Overlooking the importance of empathy and active listening

Listening is an art, as we discussed above. Engage with what he’s saying, reflect, and show that you understand. It’s not just about hearing words, it’s about feeling them.

3. Relying on stereotypes and clichés – why they don’t help

All men are not created equal, just as all relationships are unique and nuanced. When trying to figure out how to get what you want from a man, it’s tempting to fall back on stereotypes and clichés. You know the ones: “Men don’t like to talk about feelings,” or “All men think about is sports.”

These overgeneralizations can close doors before they even open. They create barriers and inhibit true understanding, turning your partner into a caricature rather than an individual with thoughts, feelings, and desires all his own.

When you approach a person as a stereotype, you might find yourself navigating a relationship based on assumptions rather than realities.

It’s like trying to paint a masterpiece using only one color – you’ll end up with a flat and uninteresting picture. [Read: 15 gender stereotypes about males we need to let go of for good]

4. Avoiding difficult conversations

It’s tempting to avoid those challenging subjects when trying to figure out how to get what you want from a man.

Whether it’s about commitments, expectations, or personal boundaries, ignoring these conversations may seem like the path of least resistance.

However, those tough talks are essential bridges to deeper understanding and connections. They allow both partners to explore what they truly want and need, laying the groundwork for a more fulfilling relationship.

Think about a time when you avoided a tough conversation, only for it to resurface later, often with increased intensity. Now, imagine instead taking a deep breath and saying, “This might be difficult to talk about, but it’s important to me.” Those few words can open the door to empathy, growth, and greater connection.

5. Using manipulation instead of persuasion

It’s tempting to resort to manipulation, thinking that coercing someone into agreement is the quickest path to your goal. But manipulation is a double-edged sword. It might get you what you want in the short term, but it often leads to resentment and a lack of trust in the long run.

Manipulation is like building a house on a foundation of sand – it might look solid, but it will inevitably crumble.

On the other hand, persuasion is about understanding and resonating with a man’s values and beliefs. It’s about building an argument that speaks to him, not at him. It’s the equivalent of building that house on solid ground, with trust and respect as the core materials.

Instead of saying, “You should do this because I want you to,” try framing it as “I believe this is good for us because…” By connecting your request to shared values or benefits, you invite him into the conversation rather than forcing him into a corner.

6. Failing to recognize emotional needs

If you want to get what you want from a man, it’s not just about laying out your own expectations and desires, it’s about recognizing and addressing his emotional needs as well. Understanding his emotional needs means being in sync with his feelings and needs.

When you acknowledge and respect his emotions, you create a connection that transcends mere surface interaction. [Read: 33 emotional needs in a relationship, signs it’s unmet & how to meet them]

7. Neglecting personal boundaries

If relationships were a sport, respecting personal boundaries would be the rulebook. It’s that essential! Whether it’s physical space or emotional boundaries, recognizing and honoring these limits creates a foundation of trust and understanding.

Picture this: You’re driving along the highway of love, and you come across a sign that says “No trespassing.” Ignore it, and you might end up in a relationship wreck. Respect it, and the journey continues smoothly.

Neglecting personal boundaries in your quest to get what you want from a man is akin to ignoring those signs. It can lead to mistrust, resentment, and even a breakdown in communication. [Read: Boundaries in a relationship – 43 healthy dating rules you MUST set early on]

It’s not about building walls but recognizing where the doors are. If you want to get what you want from a man, it starts with understanding where his boundaries lie and respecting them.

But how do you find these boundaries? Simple – ask! A respectful inquiry into his comfort zone shows that you value his feelings and are willing to work within the parameters that make him feel safe.

8. Expecting mind-reading *because telepathy is still off the table!*

Clear communication is key. If you don’t ask, you won’t get. Simple as that! [Read: 42 secrets to communicate better in a relationship & ways to fix a lack of it]

Final Thoughts

It’s time to hang up those telepathic hats and tune into the real world of connection. Learning how to get what you want from a man doesn’t require mystical mind-reading abilities or a PhD in ‘Dude-ology.’ It really comes down to simple communication and understanding silent cues.

Your guy is not a mind reader, so don’t expect him to suddenly take on the mysterious gifts of a superhero in the latest blockbuster.

Unless you’re dating Doctor Strange *and if you are, we need to talk!*, you’ll need to use your words, your emotions, and a good dose of empathy. [Read: How to show empathy & learn to understand someone else’s feelings]

In the quest for understanding, remember that telepathic signals might seem like a handy shortcut, but they’re as elusive as that missing sock in the laundry. Embrace the art of conversation, keep an open heart, and let go of clichés and assumptions.

[Read: 87 secrets to be a really good girlfriend & leave him happily addicted to you!]

Instead of relying on mind-reading powers, embrace the art of conversation. How to get what you want from a man doesn’t require a crystal ball or a wizard’s wand, it requires understanding, empathy, and a willingness to communicate.

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...