If you’re wondering how to get a boyfriend, well, that’s the easy part. You can find any half-decent guy on the street and start dating him. But getting the guy you desire, and one who’s perfect for you, is the hard part. Want to know how to get any guy you like to ask you out, and pursue you? Read on.
Good boyfriends are a rare breed these days. With social media, dating apps, and a million other ways to meet new guys, you’d assume things should be way easier. But surprisingly, it really isn’t anymore.
A couple of decades ago, the only people who went looking for boyfriends were kids and preteens. But now, you could be a teenager, a hottie in your 20s, 30, or 40s or even later, and you could be contemplating over the same question – how to get a boyfriend!
Why is it so hard to find a great guy these days?
As with anything else in life, you really need to understand why you’re experiencing this problem before you go looking to solve it. Now hold on, before we go any further, I don’t mean YOU are the problem! But we do need to understand what’s wrong with the world of men, and why YOU aren’t finding the guy who’s right for you. [Read: Unlucky in love? How to turn things around and get lucky instead]
For a long time, making a move on the opposite gender has been the domain of men. Gentlemen have asked ladies out to a dance, men have asked women out on dates, and guys hit on girls and flirt with them. But slowly and gradually, and thankfully, the playing field has finally opened up to both genders.
So now, it isn’t just about waiting for the perfect guy to find you and approach you while you sit bored in a corner of a ballroom. You need to get out there, and make your own moves too! And if you don’t send out the right signals by making a move, another girl will do that, and in all probability, snag a great guy away from you before you bat your eyelashes at him.
First, believe this. You don’t need a man to complete you.
It’s the honest truth, a man cannot complete you. He cannot give you the life you’re dreaming of. He can’t answer your prayers. Nor can he bring all your fantasies to life – be it exotic vacations, or designer bags to flaunt on Instagram. Finding a boyfriend is about finding a partner to share your life with, not someone who’ll bring the world to your feet. [Read: Why do I crave male attention? The need to be desired and your mind]
If you’re looking for someone like that, you’re better off looking for a lamp to rub and a genie to pop. Of course, there are many girls who look specifically for guys who’ll make their lives easier. But unless you’re a gold digger with an single agenda in mind, look for a guy who’ll treat you with respect, not someone who pays you to have sex with. [Read: How guys spot gold diggers and avoid them like the plague]
Are you truly ready to commit?
Dating multiple guys is very different from looking for a serious boyfriend. So before you go looking for one, make sure you’re actually ready to commit and prepared to “settle down” with one guy. Do you have what it takes to commit to a serious relationship? [Read: 16 signs you’re not ready for a serious relationship with a guy]
If you’re not ready yet, enjoy dating multiple guys, swipe left and right, and just enjoy the game of dating and casual sex for a while. Jumping into love when you’re not ready will just hurt you, the guy you date, and leave you with a bitter taste in the mouth. [Read: How to enjoy being single and live the life you really want]
What are you looking for in an ideal boyfriend?
Let’s be honest. What do you expect an ideal boyfriend to be? You could have a long checklist of requirements, and that’s a great way forward! [Read: 25 signs and qualities that make a really good boyfriend]
But now you need to ask yourself what you bring to the table yourself. Of course, you don’t need the exact same traits you’re looking for. You’re looking for a partner, not a twin. BUT you need to remember that the guy you’re looking for also has his own set of checklists he’d like to tick off too. So if you want a great guy, be prepared to be a really great girl yourself. [Read: 19 easy ways to be a great girlfriend for a guy]
How to be the irresistible girl all guys desire
You may have found the perfect guy in the world, and you may be wondering how to tell him you like him. Or perhaps, you may be completely clueless and waiting for a really nice guy to approach you and ask you out.
Either ways, if you’re interested in knowing how to get a boyfriend, you need to know how to become irresistible to guys in the first place. Be the girl who’s irreplaceable by other girls, and you’ll be the girl all guys would dream of dating.
So what catches a guy’s eye and makes a girl stand apart from all other girls? We have lots of articles to help you there, but you could start with this one – 13 things about a girl that always catches every guy’s eye!
Here are a few other things that can change the way guys see you, and make you irresistible.
#1 A great personality. You wouldn’t like a guy who doesn’t have a great personality. So why would a great guy like you if you don’t have it either? Now if you really want to know how to get a boyfriend who’s fancied by all girls and admired by all guys, you need to build yourself a personality.
You need to be cheerful and nice, but at the same time, you need to create an aura of confidence around yourself. Don’t be the best friend who’s slaving over other girls, and don’t be the clown or someone who can be pushed around easily by everyone.
You need to be confident and carry yourself with grace and panache. Be likeable and friendly, and yet, be someone who’s taken seriously. [Read: How to get guys to notice you and fall for you instantly]
#2 Appear unavailable even if you’re single. Honestly, single doesn’t ever have to mean available! You could be single and living your life.
A little secret you need to remember, no guy desires a girl who’s easily available. Play hard to get. Talk to guys but keep them at a distance. Don’t be a pushover and don’t let anyone take you for granted.
Never run errands for guys. Learn to be unpredictable when you’re talking to guys. And at times, even fussy and moody. As much as guys say they want a girl who can get along “like one of the guys,” they still want a fussy princess. Honest! There’s something about a girl’s feminine moodiness and unpredictability that makes a guy want to pull his hair out, and yet, fall harder for her! [Read: The ultimate guide to being more feminine and girly]
You know the rules of playing hard to get, so play them and play them well. BUT remember, playing hard to get should completely stop the minute you go from flirting to dating a guy as a serious potential. [Read: How to play hard to get with a guy and make it work for you]
#3 Look your best! Now good looks are an added advantage if you want to know how to get a boyfriend. But the real key to getting a great boyfriend is not good looks, but knowing how to look good. [Read: How to look fabulous and appealing when you’re trying to get attention]
Most of the glamorous celebrities and models don’t really have the prettiest faces or bodies, but it’s the way they carry themselves and groom themselves that makes them look so stunning and desirable.
Stop focusing on your flaws and pay attention to what’s good about you. And accentuate that. And before you know it, you can dazzle any guy with your poise, confidence and the way you carry yourself. [Read: How to look pretty and sweet and catch any guy’s eye]
#4 Try to get active on social media. Look, we live in a digital age. And we’re constantly bombarded with other people’s photos and videos. And we’ve reached the point where being out of sight is being out of mind. It sucks, but it’s true!
Get active on social media, and post updates regularly. Not just so cute boyfriend-potentials can see it and drool. But staying active on social media forces you to have more fun in life and get out there. It’s a double win!
Remember, all of these changes we’re talking about, you need to do it for yourself so you can become a better, more fun and more adventurous version of yourself. Not with the sole intention of winning guys over! [Read: How to get a guy’s attention on Instagram without using your body]
#5 Be positive and optimistic. The world is bad enough already, without having to date some sad and gloomy person who walks around with rain clouds hanging over their head.
Enjoy every moment, and and try to look at the world with optimism instead of mild boredom. Of course, that’s if you are interested in dating a guy who comes into the relationship with a ball of energy, fire and optimism himself.
After all, you get what you give. And if you want a great guy who’s always happy and charming, and optimism shines out of his rear end, you’ve got to bring something to the relationship as well. [Read: How to be more positive and increase the quality of your life]
What you need to do to find the boyfriend of your dreams
Now that you have a fair idea on how to better your own personality and become a better version of yourself, let’s move on to finding the guy who’s perfect for you.
#1 Send out the right signals. Are you ready to date someone? Don’t hide that thought. If a friend wants to set you up on a date? Go for it *if you trust your friend, that is!* You don’t have to shout out your single status from the rooftops, but be open to meeting people. And let people around you know that you’re open to meeting great guys too.
#2 Go out more often. You won’t meet the man of your dreams and the soulmate of your life sitting at home, watching Netflix in your PJs while wolfing down a glass of wine in the middle of the afternoon. Go on out there, meet friends, and then meet their friends. Attend parties, say hello to people, and extend your social network. It’s a double win for you! [Read: How to make new friends as an adult – 15 ways to do it right]
#3 Be approachable. It’s easy to sit down at a coffee shop with your face hidden behind your phone screen. Make yourself more approachable to the right kind of guys. [Read: 13 charming ways to be more approachable to guys]
#4 Don’t be an attention whore. There’s a thin line between being approachable, and bring too needy. Don’t cross that line. While an occasional thirst trap on social media is interesting, a girl who’s constantly fishing for compliments, batting her eyelids at every guy on the street, flailing her hair about like she’s possessed, or behaving like a full-blown diva is a huge turn off to almost every guy. [Read: 13 wily traits of an attention seeking woman you need to avoid]
#5 Don’t run after men who aren’t showing interest. Yes, you want the perfect boyfriend. And you’re sending out all the right signals. But if a guy you like isn’t reciprocating, don’t pursue him. If he likes you, he’ll make a move.
Maybe he likes someone else, maybe he’s already in a relationship, or maybe he thinks you’re not his “type” of girl. It doesn’t matter. Just don’t pursue someone who isn’t showing any signs of interest in you. It’s a total waste of your precious time, and not to mention, it makes you look pathetic. [Read: 20 reasons why a guy loses interest in a girl when she’s too eager]
#6 Don’t tolerate men who flake or expect you to just go with the flow. You know your worth, so respect yourself. Don’t go on several dates with a guy hoping he’ll fall for you soon, when he makes it clear that he has no intention of having a serious relationship with you.
If you want to know how to find a boyfriend who’s perfect for you, only date guys who respect you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
#7 Get online. Aren’t you on dating sites already? Joining a dating site may have been awkward and desperate a couple of decades ago. But now everyone’s online! Just dip your feet into it and see how it goes. Really, what have you got to lose? [Read: 15 online dating tips for women to super-boost your dating game]
Where do you meet great guys?
The big question on a single girl’s mind! Where are all the good guys? Where is your dreamy future boyfriend hiding? Well, honestly, the odds of you meeting the perfect guy at a club are pretty slim.
Guys and girls go to clubs to have fun for the night, not to look for a partner for life. If you want to know the full list of perfect places where great guys are almost always available, use this list: The 33 best places to meet attractive, fun and eligible men who would be perfect for you. Seriously, there are places full of really nice men, you just have to go there!
How to make the perfect boyfriend potential pursue you
Now that you know what you need to do, and what you shouldn’t put up with, and where to meet the perfect boyfriend for you, here are a few things you should never forget in your pursuit of the perfect boyfriend.
[Read: How to let a guy know you’re interested without appearing overeager]
#1 Let him know you’re interested. Do you like a guy? Then send out the right signals only to him. Look at him now and then, and let him notice that. Smile a bit, flutter your eyelashes or run your hands through your hair coyly, just above your ears.
But never overdo it and make yourself seem like you’re completely smitten by him already. Stare at the guy you like for a few seconds and ignore him for a while. Make him want you, make him work for you, and never let him know that you want him already. [Read: Tired of chasing? How to make a guy want you instead]
#2 Make him crave for your attention. Let him crave for your attention and make him come to you. The secret behind knowing how to get a boyfriend all girls desire is to draw him and confuse him, and never letting him know he’s got the upper hand in the flirty game.
Never make it obvious by telling all your friends and giggling like he’s your school crush! Stare at him deeply now and then, and ignore him for a few days. You hold the reins in this game, and he’ll come running to you in no time. [Read: How to make a guy fall in love with you – 21 ways to charm him completely]
#3 Learn to be sweet where it matters. Once you have his attention, make him come to you. Smile at him when you’re at the other end of the hall, but ignore him when he’s close by. That would confuse him, and yet, make him crazy about you.
Don’t flirt with too many guys, assuming it would make him jealous. It could make him think you’re just seeking attention. You can be rude to any guy though, who tries misbehaving around you or tries to hit on you when the guy you like is around. Ignoring other guys who hit on you makes the guy you like want you even more! [Read: 15 classy ways to make any guy go crazy over you]
And when he finally works up the courage to ask you out, be sweet with him. Make him feel special, and let him understand that he’s being treated nicely.
Don’t overdo it, but make him feel warm and fuzzy for having a conversation with you. And if he ever talks about you staring at him or smiling at him from across the hall, deny it outright and get fussy.
Never let him know that you accept making the first move, at least until you guys start dating seriously. Always make it look like it was him and him alone who made all the moves to talk to you. That’s how you play fussy, sweet and hard to get all at once! [Read: Sneaky but powerful ways to get any guy to ask you out even if you liked him first]
#4 Don’t put out too soon. I know, I know, I sound sexist here. If a guy can sleep with a girl on the first date and it’s considered okay, why can’t a girl do that?
Of course, you can! But here’s the catch. I’m not saying you shouldn’t sleep with guys on first dates if you want to. I’m just saying, avoid sleeping with guys on the first few dates if you genuinely intend to date them and see them as boyfriend potentials. [Read: 30 facts about guys that can help you read his mind]
#5 Don’t ignore your own life in search of the right guy. This is important. Everything that you are, and all the reasons why the guy you like finds you interesting, is because of the life you’re leading. In your pursuit of the perfect boyfriend, don’t throw everything aside so you can spend time with a guy. Lead your own life, and let a guy only be a small part of your life.
[Read: How to attract men in a way they just won’t be able to resist!]
If you just follow these simple moves, not only will you know how to get a boyfriend, you’d also know how to attract the attention of any guy you like, and make him fall really hard for you!
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