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How to Encourage Him to Make the First Move: 15 Subtle, Speedy Ways

When you like a guy and are dying for something to happen and it just hasn’t is when you need to learn how to encourage him to make the first move.

how to encourage him to make the first move

So why hasn’t he made the first move? Well, maybe he isn’t interested. There is always a chance of that. But if you know he is interested, there are plenty of ways you can subtly or more obviously learn how to encourage him to make the first move.

Why hasn’t he made the first move?

Before you go freaking out about him possibly not liking you, take a breath. There are plenty of reasons he has yet to make the first move. [Read: Does his body language tell me he likes me?]

#1 He moves slow. Some guys just like to take their time and feel things out.

#2 He is afraid of rejection. If he isn’t 100% certain you will accept his advance, he may not want to risk it.

#3 He isn’t sure he likes you. He likes you, but isn’t quite sure how much and doesn’t want to make a move and then regret it. [Read: How do I know if he likes me if he won’t even speak to me?]

#4 He doesn’t know how to make the first move. Some guys just are not sure how to go about it. Should he try to kiss you first or ask you out or hold your hand?

#5 He wants you to make the first move. And then there are the guys that want you to make the first move. Maybe he likes a woman who goes for what she wants or just doesn’t want to be the one to take the risk.

#6 He’s taken. Oops. He may already be in a relationship that you just don’t know about.

#7 He doesn’t want to ruin the friendship. If you are friends, coworkers, or even share a friend group he may not want to stir the pot. [Read: The signs your guy friend is totally into you]

#8 It is awkward for him. Asking someone out isn’t always as smooth and charming as it is in the movies. He may just be a little shy.

#9 You are off limits. Yes, this is misogynistic, but men do still live by the “bro code.” So if you dated his friend, his friend called dibs or anything like that, it could be the reason he isn’t making the first move.

#10 He’s oblivious that you’re interested. And finally, he just has no clue you are even interested.

Now that you know all the reasons why he hasn’t made a move, hopefully, you could narrow it down to your situation. From there, try these methods of how to encourage him to make the first move.

How to encourage him to make the first move

Some men respond well to subtle hints and a change in body language. Others are just clueless. So, see which of these methods speaks to you and go from there.

#1 Flirt. This is the obvious one, but it still had to be mentioned. Flirting is the first step in showing a guy that you’re interested. From there hopefully, he gets the hint. [Read: The best ways to flirt with a shy guy]

#2 Touch him. I don’t mean grope him, I mean brush against his arm, lightly shove him when you’re joking, or even place your hand on his. Even touches as small and simple as these can signal an attraction and chemistry. [Read: How to flirt by touch without making it obvious at all]

#3 Slip it into the conversation. Next time you’re chatting, let it slip that you like when a guy makes the first move. Maybe you’re talking about feminism and say you’re independent and driven, but still, appreciate some romantic traditions like for the guy to make the first move. It may not have occurred to him.

#4 Give him the look. I am sure you know what look I mean. Make eye contact and hold it, then smile, look away and look back quickly. It should look natural. So, if you aren’t familiar with this, test it out in the mirror first because done incorrectly, it can look a little stalkery.

You can play it up even more by making eye contact while sipping on your drink or subtly biting your lip. [Read: 10 subtle eye contact flirting moves that always work]

#5 Get close. You know how you have to stand close to someone in a loud and crowded bar in order to hear them? Well, do that even if it isn’t that loud. Allowing you bodies to touch, even just your arms can ignite a spark.

Want a know a sneaky trick when it comes to figuring how to encourage him to make the first move? Whispering into his ear or just standing closer than platonic friends should give him the signal.

#6 Face him. Body language is the key to subtly making someone aware of your interest. So if you are chatting, face him with your entire body. If you are standing, point your feet toward him. Even if you are sitting beside one another, cross your legs towards him.

These are very subtle gestures but can be more subconsciously effective than you think. [Read: How to finally get your dream guy to make a move on you]

#7 Fidget a little. Not nervously. Just run your hands through your hair or play with your necklace. This will draw attention to your clavicle, your neck, etc.

These little maneuvers are ingenious. You know how when a guy reaches back to stretch and his shirt lifts up just enough you can see just the bottom of his abs? This is the female version of that.

#8 Bring up a movie you’ve been dying to see. A great way to encourage a guy to ask you out is by giving him an idea. Maybe he wants to ask you out but doesn’t know where to take you or what to do. Tell him about this amazing restaurant you’ve been wanting to try or how you haven’t gone bowling in ages.

This gives him a clear opening for, “Well, we should go this weekend.” [Read: All the sneakiest ways to get a guy to ask you out in no time]

#9 Make it clear you’re available. Maybe he isn’t even sure you are single and ready to mingle. He may think you are hung up on an ex or aren’t looking to date.

If you’re wondering how to encourage him to make the first move, casually throw into the conversation that you haven’t been on a date in a while and miss that fluttery nervous feeling.

#10 Be patient. As I said, some guys just need time. Maybe he is shy, maybe he wants to make sure he likes you. Or he just wants to take things slow to ensure you are comfortable.

Don’t rush things. But if the waiting is getting out of hand, say something or move on.

#11 Make it clear you would say yes. Just like us, men are terrified of rejection. And if the reason he hasn’t made a move is due to the fact that he thinks you’ll turn him down, make it clear you’d say yes. How, you ask? Mention you were recently asked out but weren’t interested, but would be open to an invitation from someone else, like YOU. [Read: 30 subtle, obvious and really sexy flirting tips all girls should know]

#12 Give him a tip. Let him know how you would want to be asked out or kissed. Watch an old romantic movie and at the kissing scene say, I wish guys still kissed girls like that. Or mention how you wish you could get a proper date invitation like in the old days. Not a “wanna hang out?”

#13 Ask him when he’s planning to make the first move. Sometimes, you just need to be bold. If you know he knows you are interested but hasn’t asked you out, kissed you, or brought things up a notch, talk about it.

Kindly let him know you like him. You’d be happy if things moved a little faster.

#14 Just be you. You don’t need tricks and manipulations to get a guy to make the first move. In many cases, if he likes you, he will make it known and have no problem making the first move.

So just be you and when the times comes, it will come. If not, move along. [Read: 14 steps to learn to love to be you]

#15 Make the first move yourself. Sometimes our impatience get the best of us and when that happens it is time for you to make the first move. When he hugs you goodnight and turns away say, “wait,” and lay one on him. Or ask him out yourself.

Yes, it can be scary, but hey, we’re in the new age. Anything he can do, you can do better.

[Read: How to ask a guy out like a real, classy woman]

With a lot of these techniques on how to encourage him to make the first move, you are actually the one doing making all the moves, he just doesn’t know it!

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Samantha Ann
My name is Samantha Ann. I am 28 years old. It was always my dream to become an advice columnist, so after years of off and online dating and eventually finding...