Do you want to ask that guy if he likes you but don’t know how to do it right? Learn how to ask a guy if he likes you without risking your ego.
There’s nothing more embarrassing than assuming that someone likes you and making a move only to find out that you’ve judged it all wrong. If you don’t know how to ask a guy if he likes you, it’s easy to get humiliated.
The key to protecting your ego is learning how to ask a guy if he likes you the right way. If you ask the right way, you’ll have proof to work with before you try and move things to another level. And we’re talking about actual proof here, not just seeing what you want to see!
When you’re attracted to someone, it’s easy to mistake the slightest smile for flirtation. You want them to like you back, so you cling to every single potential sign that they give! However, seeing things through that lens makes it easy to get things wrong. [Read: 75 unique signs to tell if a guy likes you and read his mind]
Of course, sometimes people lead you on. They make you think that they like you, only for the truth to hit you when you try and take things to another level. Avoid those people.
However, if you learn how to ask a guy if he likes you and find positive signs coming your way, that means that he’s crushing right back on you. [Read: Is he into me, or is he just being nice? 20 signs to know for sure!]
Why should you ask someone if they like you?
If you think you’re getting signals from a guy, but you’re unsure, it might be time to ask him if he likes you. Why is it so important to ask, and why should you do it before you take things further?
Asking somebody if they like you can seem terrifying. Even if you do know how to ask a guy if he likes you, there’s always a chance he won’t feel the same. You could find the perfect words, the ideal situation, and just the right moment to let him know how you feel, but he still might say no.
That sounds like a big risk, right? How can that be worth it? It’s always worth asking your crush if he likes you back. There’s a chance he might say yes, and you’ll be ready to make your move. [Read: How to ask someone if they like you without embarrassing yourself]
Even if he says no, at least you know where you stand. It can be easy to get caught up and spend a lot of emotional energy on an unrequited crush. You spend hours over-analyzing everything he says to you and changing your lifestyle to be closer to him.
However, if you know how to ask a guy if he likes you, you won’t waste your time. You’ll know how he feels for sure.
How to ask a guy if he likes you
The word “ask” might be a little misleading here. Some of these steps don’t involve actually asking. However, they do involve watching, learning, and looking for solid signs that are hard to misinterpret. If you master all these steps, you’ll know how to ask a guy if he likes you.
1. Watch and learn
Before you do anything, spend a little time watching. That doesn’t mean stalking the poor guy. Simply assess what he’s doing when he’s with you, and be open-minded about how he acts around you. [Read: 35 signs of attraction from a guy to know if he’s falling for you]
What does his body language tell you? Is he different with you than he is with other people? Also, think about the number of times he contacts you per week. Compare that to the other people in your life and how often they reach out for random reasons. That should tell you a lot.
[Read: The subtle signs he wants to make a move on you and ask you out but is scared]
2. Let your body language speak for you
Learning how to ask a guy if he likes you isn’t just about the words you say. It’s about what your body is saying, too. Body language is 50% of human communication and tells those around us what we’re really thinking.
If you want to ask a guy if he likes you, you need to make sure your body language matches what you say. This will make you seem more sincere and encourage him to be honest back.
You can ask a guy if he likes you with your body in so many subtle ways. For instance, fleetingly touch his arm, and see how he responds. Does he touch you back? Does he move a little closer?
When you make eye contact and hold it for a couple of seconds, what does he do? Does he look away and seem awkward, or does he hold it and smile a little? These are all ways that you can learn how to ask a guy if he likes you. [Read: How to let a guy know you’re interested without appearing over-eager]
3. Find out where he is relationship-wise
Have a general conversation with him about relationships. By doing this, you can find out his status and whether he actually wants a relationship or not. You don’t have to be too obvious with this, but you can find out if he’s in the same headspace as you and save yourself a lot of trouble if he’s not.
If he’s looking for fun, that’s all very well and good, but only if that’s what you want, too. If you’re looking for more, save yourself time and heartache by moving on. Find someone who wants the same thing as you. [Read: How to ask a guy out over text – smooth moves to get the answer you want]
4. Find the right time
Don’t just come out with it whenever the mood strikes you. Find the right time. Create the right atmosphere. Make sure you’re alone and choose somewhere calm and serene.
Perhaps ask him out for a coffee, or go for a walk. You could even go out and grab a casual lunch together. Wherever you go, wear clothes that make you feel comfortable so that you’re more likely to be confident in yourself.
It’s no good trying to find out whether he’s into you or not when there is a crowd around you or when you’re somewhere that your close friends go. If you see one of them, the moment will be lost. Plus, your crush might feel peer-pressured and change their answer. [Read: How to talk to your crush – the secrets to make them fall hard for you]
5. Try hinting a little
You can learn how to ask a guy if he likes you by hinting. This means saying the occasional suggestive thing that hints at you liking him before pulling back. That way, you’re finding out for yourself before you actually go for it and find out for sure.
Of course, you can find out false information by doing this. But the more information you manage to find out, the more confident you’ll feel that you’re on the right track with whichever decision you make.
Tell him how much you enjoy being around him, and see what his reaction is. Tell him you like his style, and see how he reacts to that. Stick to small hints. Otherwise, you’re basically putting it all out there. [Read: Does he love me? 37 signs he’s past like and totally in love with you]
6. Just go for it
If you’re tired of tiptoeing around and reading between the lines, take a deep breath and just go for it! We’d recommend doing this after you’ve followed the other steps and given yourself a clear view of what’s going on in his mind.
By asking outright, you’ll feel more confident. It might make you feel more able to get your words out without blushing or saying something stupid.
Sometimes, understanding how to ask a guy if he likes you just comes down to directness. By following the other steps so far, you’re giving yourself information to go on and minimizing the risk that you’ve got it completely wrong. [Read: How to be a high-value woman he’ll never want to leave]
7. Be confident
Everybody knows that confidence is sexy. Maybe it’s your crush’s confidence that attracted you to him in the first place! However, confidence is also crucial to learning how to ask a guy if he likes you.
Asking clearly and confidently is the best way to get a clear answer from the guy you like. Don’t approach him looking nervous or uncomfortable. Make eye contact, know your worth, and put the sexiest version of yourself forward!
If you’re confident, it’ll make it much easier to be direct and get the information you need. [Read: 36 sexy, confident ways to keep a guy interested in a conversation]
8. Go for the subtle ask
The subtle ask is a little-known but very effective technique for asking a guy if he likes you. It’s perfect for a guy that hasn’t dropped any clear signs of interest. With this method, you won’t be embarrassed if he rejects you.
Similar to hinting, this method involves you dropping little breadcrumbs of information that show your interest, but this time, you subtly shape the conversation to get the answers you need.
For example, start by dropping a few hypothetical questions into the mix. If you work with the guy that you’re crushing on, casually ask him, “Would you ever date a girl you work with?” If he says yes, drop another question that leads him closer to you, like, “What about me?”
If he says no, you can play it off as a joke and move on with your questions answered and your pride intact. [Read: 55 cheeky questions to ask someone you like]
9. Text smart
Texting is the perfect place to deploy the subtle ask. It’s much easier to be bold when you aren’t face-to-face, so you can really get close to the bone with your questions!
Next time you’re texting back and forth, why not try asking him, “What type of girl do you like?” This question is a great way to find out what kind of women he’s interested in. The best-case scenario is that his dream girl sounds just like you!
[Read: 24 golden rules for texting in the early stages of dating]
Texting is also a great place to ask him directly. Everybody feels braver behind their phone screen, so don’t be afraid to try some of the riskier techniques, too!
10. Talk to his friends
If you want to know everything about a guy, ask his friends! Asking your crush’s best boys is a useful way to find out what he’s really thinking. When he’s talking to his closest friends, he’ll say things he’d NEVER say in front of you! [Read: What do guys really think of their female friends? 17 secrets revealed]
Maybe he’s already told them whether or not he likes you. If you can get a clear answer from them, it’ll save you the effort *and potential embarrassment* of asking if he likes you face-to-face.
11. Ask him about his love life
We’ve already talked about asking your crush if he’s interested in a relationship. However, if you want to know how to ask a guy if he likes you, you also need to remember to ask him about his love life in general.
Before you can even think about turning your crush into something more, you need to find out if he’s seeing someone. This will tell you whether or not you even have a chance.
If he’s taken, you’ve got no hope of getting him to be with you, even if he does like you back. There might be a small chance that he’ll leave his partner for you, but most people won’t throw away a long-term relationship over a mutual crush. [Read: Emotional cheating and how it can destroy you]
However, if you find out that he’s single and ready to mingle, you can proceed!
12. Write a letter
Sometimes, the old-fashioned ways are the best. If you’re too shy to reveal your feelings in person, a well-written heartfelt letter can let him know how you feel. Even if you can’t write a full letter, a brief note could be enough to find out if a guy likes you, too.
In the letter, make sure that you ask him to tell you how he feels, too. Keep the channels of communication open, and encourage him to write back or come and speak to you in person. You can still be direct on paper. Don’t be afraid to come out and ask, “Do you like me?”
[Read: How to write a heartfelt love letter like a true romantic]
Warnings – what not to do
Of course, it’s just as important to know how NOT to ask a guy if he likes you. There are four common mistakes that girls make when asking a guy if he’s interested.
1. Don’t pull him away from his friends
Maybe you think this is the perfect moment to ask him. Maybe you want to question his friends and see what he’s been saying when you’re not there. Either way, you need to separate your crush from his guys. It sounds like a good time to pull him aside, right?
[Read: How to get close with your BF’s friends and make them like you]
Wrong. Never pull a guy away from his friends, even if it seems like the right moment to make your move. Splitting them up will only annoy him, give you a bad reputation with his friends, and make them less likely to tell you any inside info.
2. Don’t stalk him
Avoid stalking him on the web or constantly checking your phone. It can be very tempting to cyber-stalk your crush. By looking online, you can find all of his hobbies, little details about him, and even his schedule for those all-important “accidental” meet-cutes.
However, stalking your crush is creepy. Knowing more about him won’t make him more interested in you, and you won’t be able to find out if he likes you just by scanning through his posts. The only way to know for sure is by asking him.
Don’t constantly check your phone. If you’ve decided to ask him over text, give him a chance to reply. Repeatedly checking your phone won’t make him answer any quicker. [Read: The very sweet ways to tell a guy you like him and win him over]
3. Respect his personal space
When asking a guy if he likes you, never get in his personal space. Sure, some advice says that physical contact is a way to express sexual interest. However, this advice is aimed at people who are already dating or want to develop a sexual relationship with somebody they know is available.
[Read: Is he attracted to me? 34 ways to know if a guy desires you]
You might not yet know if your crush is available. You don’t want to alienate them by getting too handsy, and you don’t want to get too close to somebody else’s man. Also, some people just plain dislike being touched. Respect your crush by respecting their personal space.
4. Be prepared for a no
Always prepare for the worst. It’s very possible, even if you go for lower-risk methods like hinting or the subtle ask, that he will say no. Knowing how to ask a guy if he likes you is sometimes about coping with rejection. It’s essential that you’re able to take a no calmly and with grace.
If he rejects you, don’t freak out or make a scene. If you need to cry, do it later when you’re alone in your room, not in front of your crush. If you really like him, you won’t want to make him feel uncomfortable. [Read: How not to cry – 29 fast, easy methods to hold back the tears]
Everybody has a right to love whomever they please. Your crush doesn’t owe you love, so you have to respect his right to say no. Don’t continue to pursue him after he’s said no to you, as this will only waste your time and disrespect him.
How to ask him if he likes you back
If you prefer the direct route and are just going to come out and say it, what exactly do you say? That’s up to you, but something like, “I really like you, and I enjoy spending time with you,” is probably enough.
Don’t feel like you have to give a huge speech. Just tell him you like him. If he likes you back, he’ll tell you. If he doesn’t like you in that way or just isn’t looking for a relationship, he’ll tell you that, too. [Read: Casual dating vs. serious dating – do you know what you want right now?]
As crushing as it can be not to get the answer you want, always try to see the positives. At least you know the answer now, and you’re not wasting time hanging around waiting for someone who isn’t on the same page as you.
Of course, the hope is that he does like you back. Then, perhaps you can take it slowly and try going out on a real date together. Being brave and admitting how you feel about someone doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can just be a simple shrug and, “I like you.” [Read: How to show a guy you like him and still be a tease]
In some ways, that’s far sweeter. You’re being open and honest and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in a moment when many people would keep it all inside and refuse to admit it. You’re brave enough to say it, and even if it doesn’t work out, you’ll have the answer you’ve been craving.
[Read: Are you just friends, or does he really like you? Key signs to know for sure!]
Learning how to ask a guy if he likes you means doing a little detective work. Subtly, of course! Then, once you feel confident enough, coming right out and asking him will give you the answer you’re obsessing over.
