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14 Side Chick Rules to be a Happy Mistress – Minus the Drama

If you’re going to play the love triangle game, you should know the side chick rules to follow to help you steer clear of potential trouble.

side chick rules

Being a side chick isn’t easy. It isn’t all gifts and sex and exciting escapades, though those are often part of the deal. However, there’s more to being a side chick than sitting back and receiving gifts. And this is when all the drama, heartache, and scandal come in. If you’re a great side chick, none of these should concern you. You just enjoy your man as much as he enjoys you.
Read up on these 14 awesome side chick rules
So how do you play by the side chick rules without getting your hair pulled out by the main chick? Check out these 14 golden rules to live by.
#1 Don’t fall. Most side chicks stay side chicks. Falling in love with your man will only ruin the very foundation of the relationship, which is basically built on no-strings-attached, casual sex. Or, at most, a friends with benefits kind of setup.
Catching feelings will just bring in more expectations and more complications that your man just doesn’t want. [Read: 13 easy ways to avoid falling in love with someone]
#2 Know where you stand. Keep your expectations in check. Your man will not be there if you have PMS and just watched Titanic for the nth time and need a shoulder to cry on. He will not be there for Valentine’s dates, Christmas dinner, or Thanksgiving. You won’t have him dressed as your Prince Charming on Halloween, either.
#3 Be undercover. If you like spy thrillers, then this is your chance to be like Angelina Jolie in Salt. Being a side chick means that you have to keep things on the down-low. You have to be a ninja, be under the radar, and communicate and meet up with your man without anyone else knowing.
#4 Cut to the chase. Part of the side chick rules include understanding that you’re not going to be courted. You’re not your man’s girlfriend or even wife, so cut to the chase. Being a side chick means one thing: getting in bed and having a good time. There’s no time to play hard-to-get, so this means either you give your man some lovin’ or you’re out. [Read: 9 brilliant tips for having a casual relationship]
#5 Know the risks. This isn’t just about you or about you and him. It’s about you, him, and his main chick. Being a side chick, you should know what’s in store and what’s at risk.
You could potentially ruin a relationship or even a family—that is, if you get caught. With this in mind, you should always be careful and think about your every move.
#6 Never stalk. Technology can give you plenty of means to stalk your man or even his main chick. While this is fairly easy, never do it. First of all, it’s pointless. Secondly, you might end up with a restraining order.
If your man doesn’t want you to know where he is, it’s probably for the best. And if he wants you to know what he’s up to, he will definitely let you know. [Read: 12 things you do that’ll make him think you’re a stalker]
#7 And never talk. Never, ever admit to anything. Let your man handle the heat, if things ever get messy. As a rule, side chicks shouldn’t talk about being a side chick to just anyone. You shouldn’t talk about your man, your man’s main chick, or anything that will implicate you in the end. After all, what you’re doing isn’t the thing you want to be broadcasted, anyway.
#8 Stay away. Stay away from the main chick. If you see her frequenting a coffee shop with her girlfriends, don’t invite trouble by showing up there, too. In fact, keep your distance. Absolutely do nothing that will let the main chick link you to your man.
If you see them together in public, don’t even look their way. If your man follows you on Instagram or Twitter, don’t let him. Block him. Do yourself a favor and keep your distance.
#9 Never leave evidence. No matter where the two of you might have been, be sure not to leave anything that the main chick will trace back to you.
Just one cryptic or even harmless-looking text is enough for a hunger call to your man. Furthermore, don’t leave anything in his car, no lipstick marks, no perfumes, not even a strand of hair. If the main chick finds even a speck of chipped nail polish that isn’t her shade, then it’s over. [Read: Having an affair with a married man: A true experience]
#10 Know your social media etiquette. In today’s day and age, many of these side chick rules will involve social media. Remember, no selfies with the guy, not even with his hand or his tie. Don’t tag him on Facebook, and better yet, don’t follow him on any platform. Know just what to do when you’re online, and please, no fake accounts just to stalk him, either.
#11 Learn to go with the flow. Being a side chick, you should be prepared for lots of changes in your plans. If he said that he wanted to take you out to dinner tonight and you even bought a new dress just for the occasion, but then he suddenly cancels, don’t take it personally. Don’t make a big fuss out of it.
Often, it’s the spur-of-the-moment escapes that your man may be able to do to get to you, so understand this instead of bickering about the promises that he can’t keep *duh!*.
#12 The main chick is never your concern. Don’t expect your man to come to you and talk about his troubles about his wife or girlfriend. You are not his shrink, and you are not his friend. Most of all, it is none of your business. In the same vein, don’t ask about his main chick, or even mention her name in a conversation.
#13 Never get caught. Any side chick can be great in bed, but only a great side chick will not get caught. Know your escape plans if ever things get rough. This means that you shouldn’t let your guard down, whether or not you’re with your man.
And if on the off-chance that you ever do get caught *which, again, should never be in the equation in the first place*, at least don’t get caught on your knees or with your pants down, if you know what we mean. [Read: 18 ingenious ways to catch a cheating partner]
#14 Be clean and filthy. This is oxymoronic, but let’s explain. You have to look clean but act dirty. And by that, we mean in bed. He doesn’t need another wife or girlfriend to go to—he wants a vixen in bed.
He wants someone who will keep him company, yet keep things light, not ask too much from him, not tire him up or tie him down. That’s his main chick’s job. Your job is to please him and make him keep coming back for you.
Being a side chick brings with it more complications than if you were just his main chick. However, there are some women who really just prefer to be a side chick. [Read: How to snag a rich boyfriend or a sugar daddy effortlessly]
It’s free from the expectations and disappointments, not to mention intricacies, of being in a serious monogamous relationship. On top of that, there’s the no-commitment, full-secrecy excitement that the whole setup brings.
[Read: How to end an affair and get over it completely]
By following these side chick rules, you can be an excellent side chick, minus all the drama. You get to have fun with your man, not worry about responsibilities and expectations, and get all the perks of being the girl he comes to for fun and great sex.

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Tiffany Grace Reyes
Tiffany is a wordsmith who has played with words ever since her letter-to-the-editor was published nationally at the age of 9. Since then her writing has gone f...
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