You meet a guy who seems really awesome, then suddenly you just can’t get a read on him. If all you’re getting is mixed signals, we can help!
Raise your hand if you’ve been into a guy and couldn’t for the life of you figure out what he was thinking on any given day. Some days he was really touchy and flirty-signaling he was into you as more than just friends-and other days he was so withdrawn, it’s like you didn’t even know him at all.
All of these are the classic signs of him sending you mixed signals. Now, he might not be doing it on purpose, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating. And now you’re left sitting in a circle with all your friends trying to decipher exactly what his actions mean.
I know you want to shake him until he unearths all of his deepest hidden secret feelings about you, but that’s just not how guys work. If you’re clueless to how he really feels, use some of these tips when dealing with all those mixed signals.
#1 Verify your own emotions first. Before you start investing so much time into someone that’s new and doesn’t seem to know what they want, make sure you know what you want. Do you really want someone who is wishy-washy? Are you really ready to deal with that onslaught of extra emotions?
Figuring out how you feel before spending so much time over someone you don’t know all that well will save you from wasting your time. Knowing how you feel yourself can help you process those signals you’re getting from him.
#2 Get some background information. Before you start interpreting their strange behavior as sending mixed signals, get some background information on them first. Do they have anything rough going on in their life? Did they just get out of a bad relationship?
I don’t condone cyberstalking, but doing a little research on them might help you understand where their behavior is coming from. You may uncover something that can tell you why they’re acting a certain way. [Read: Dammit, why doesn’t he like me back? 20 reasons why]
#3 Don’t jump to conclusions right away. Too many people think if someone is sending mixed signals they’re just playing or using you. Don’t do this. There are so many reasons someone could be sending mixed signals-and sometimes they don’t even know they are!
Stay calm and try not to jump to the worst case scenario. There is probably a perfectly good explanation for what’s going on. Give it time.
#4 Give them a little space. If they’re practically giving you whiplash with their behavior lately, back off for a few days and give them some space. Sometimes guys get so overwhelmed with relationship stuff they don’t know how to act and have mini freak-outs.
See if giving them a little space helps the situation. They’ll have room to breathe and figure their stuff out, and you’ll have time to reevaluate what’s going on and make some decisions for yourself.
#5 Trust them. If you think your man is acting a little out of the ordinary, you’ll probably end up asking what’s wrong. When they give you an answer, you need to trust it’s the right answer, and they’re not throwing excuses at you.
The mistake many people make is thinking that guys are lying to cover up for something. You need to trust them at their word until they’ve give you a reason to mistrust them. And sometimes they might answer with, nothing. This can be frustrating, but it means there’s really nothing going on or they don’t want to discuss it with you. Either way, drop it.
#6 Talk to a friend about it. Sometimes your feelings for someone can cloud your judgement-as can insecurities. Talking to a friend can give you an unbiased opinion as to what is actually going on with your mysterious lover boy.
They can reassure you there might be a good reason behind their mixed signals, or they can tell you you’re being crazy and there are no mixed signals at all. Having a close friend you can rely on in this situation will help you deal with it. [Read: Does he like you? 18 body language cues that just won’t lie]
#7 Don’t question them repeatedly. If you feel like something is really off, go ahead and ask them if anything is wrong. If they don’t open up or want to talk about it, leave it at that. Don’t keep pushing for an answer because all that will do is push them away.
Guys don’t like to talk about their problems with people. They’re the opposite of girls, really. They want to sit on their lonesome and figure it out by themselves. If he’s sending mixed signals and something may be behind it, let him deal with it and you keep being your normal self. [Read: 16 reasons why your boyfriend’s being so mean all of a sudden]
#8 Determine your relationship status early on. One of the reasons people have such a hard time when their guy starts sending mixed signals is because they’re unsure of the relationship status-or if there’s even a relationship there.
The lack of knowing if this person is yours, if they like you, or if you guys are just friends, often leads to confusion when it comes to their actions. Determining what you two are to each other will actually help you deal with the mixed signals.
#9 Stay confident. Whenever your new person of interest is showing signs of their wavering feelings, your confidence can quickly dwindle. You start to act insecure, unsure of your own actions, and even some jealousy can surface from time to time.
#10 Don’t overthink and overanalyze. Please, please, please do NOT overthink the heck out of their mixed signals. Don’t assume just because they‘re acting strange right now that they’re hiding something or they don’t like you.
Overthinking always leads to people assuming the worst possible thing. So don’t do it! Try to figure out how they feel without overanalyzing their every action.
#11 Let them work out their issues. Mixed signals often stem from people not knowing what they want and having their own issues to deal with. It almost never has anything to do with you. So if you’re getting a ton of mixed signals from a guy, the best way to deal with it is to let him figure it out on his own.
#12 Know when to walk away. Sometimes mixed signals are nothing, but other times they can mean the person just isn’t right for you. People can send mixed signals for all kinds of reasons, but it’s up to you to know when to walk away.
If they’re not figuring out their own stuff and you’ve been dealing with their signals for far too long, it might be time to walk away because clearly they don’t know what they want-and you shouldn’t waste your time on that.