Can’t get past the “friends” stage? Are you single but cannot seem to mingle? Are you someone who just came out, and are now looking for your first prey, or perhaps that one girlfriend whom you can finally be with forever?
Or are you a scaredy cat who is always ready to meet the right one, but getting cold feet to make the first move? If you are, then you are HOME, honey! Let’s get you out of the so called friendsville and let me steer your flirting wheel in a more romantic direction.
Flirting is the art of showing a person that you are interested in them in a suggestive and subtle manner, without being too needy and desperate. It is a skill, just like any other, that takes much practice. And when we say practice, we are not asking you to undergo training or enrol in an actual flirting school, if there is any of such type, but we simply mean practice by actually doing it and learning from every attempt.
We are, of course, well aware that flirting can be very awkward and nerve-wracking at first, especially if you are doing it the wrong way. But HEY! Today is your lucky lesbian day because we are here to give you some tried and tested state secrets that will surely make your dreams of dating her come to life in vivid rainbow colours.
How to flirt with a girl and make her like you
There’s no one secret to flirting with a lesbian. It all depends on the girl you like, and how she responds. Here are a couple of tips to up your odds of getting her to be into you.
#1 Bark up the right tree. This is a must! A prelude to the whole flirting scene is knowing first that you are flirting with the same breed. This is the stage when your gaydar will come in handy. However, how to perfect your gaydar is another topic altogether. But remember not to proceed with the rest of the flirting tips unless you are sure that you are targeting a like-minded gay soul.
For starters, assuming you are not in the conversation stage yet, you can start by observing her body language. Body language lets you know whether she’s gay or nay. Pay attention to small signs. Notice how she talks, how she stares at girls or perhaps boys, and what kind of clothes she’s wearing. Be sharp-eyed but be careful not to scare her away. Take your time but never miss your boat!
Extra Tip: Ask around. Ask your gay friends. Who knows, you might get the heads up that you need. [Read: 6 easy ways to know for sure if she’s a lesbian]
#2 Be confident without being annoying. Confidence is definitely a sexy asset. Knowing how to carry yourself is one thing that most lesbian and straight girls are attracted to. Look smart and act smart! Know your style, dress to impress, wear your best perfume, and most importantly, be comfortable with yourself and your whole self-package.
However, keep in mind that there is a fine line between confidence and cockiness. Self-assurance is the root of confidence, while arrogance is the source of all cockiness. The latter is always a turn-off. Be confident without even trying! [Read: 11 bad social habits that make you undateable]
#3 Make a connection. The key here is eye contact. This may sound like a cliché, but this is the most useful flirtatious cliché in the whole flirting history! Perhaps, it is because the eyes are the most magical of all organs. Everything about you can be easily seen in your eyes, your intentions, your fears, your hopes and your dreams.
Making the right eye contact can effortlessly draw someone to you. While making the wrong eye contact or avoiding one will surely ward off someone. Don’t just keep on glancing at her. Hold your stare for at least a few seconds, and see if she will reconnect. If she does, then good job! Get up to her and start talking.
Extra Tip: I shouldn’t be saying this, but please avoid the come-and-get-me look!
#4 Get her talking. The brain is the sexiest part of the human body. If you are intelligent, probably with a PH.D, M.D., MBA, or ATTY. before or after your name, then you definitely have an advantage. However, the proper way to flaunt this is a whole different story.
Being too smart can either make or break your flirting strategy. Remember what I said about being confident vis-a-vis being arrogant? Conversely, you don’t need to be a straight A student to impress a girl. You just need to know how to strike a balance between showing her that you have something worthy between your ears, instead of telling her that you are way too smart and she’s not. Just imagine how hard it is to date the female version Sheldon Cooper!
You can start the conversation by introducing yourself. Warning: remember not to overdo this, never be a parrot. Ask her name, where she’s from, there are a hundred other things to talk about. Begin with something she obviously likes such as her interests, hobbies, music or movie preferences, to get her talking.
At first, avoid delicate matters such as past relationships, heartbreaks and erotic sex like you’re some kind of a maniac who can’t wait to get laid, unless it is indeed your plan. Lesbians do like sex, but sex talk might not be a good choice to jumpstart a discussion.
Appear spontaneous, although deep in your mind, you may be thinking that you should have memorized Webster’s or Britannica or grabbed a copy of dummies guide to flirting from Amazon. It’s bad enough to think too much, and it is far worse to look like you’re thinking too much.
Loosen up, ladies! Charm your way into her heart! And oh, do not forget to say nice things and a couple of sincere compliments too! Girls love compliments!
Extra Tip: One, skip lame pick-up lines. Leave it to the guys. EVERYONE knows they are JUST lines. It will get you nowhere. Two, make her laugh, but if you can’t then at least laugh at her jokes. Three, sustain eye contact while talking.
#5 Subtlety matters. We totally get the fact that you are into her, as in really into her, but it doesn’t mean you should undo your bra or your zipper to get her attention. Flaunting your promiscuity may not work at all times. Bear in mind that you are trying to flirt with a lesbian, not a slut. It is okay to be bold and suggestive, but do it the right way.
Extra Tip: Being a little touchy is okay. Touch her hand while talking to her, brush your skin against her arm while sharing a few laughs or wrap your arms around her shoulders. If possible, purposely sit very close to her or twirl her hair. If she doesn’t resist, then consider your job half done! Way to go! [Read: 6 flirty questions you can ask someone you’re into]
#6 Be responsive. Retain information. This will undoubtedly make every woman feel that they are extra special. Forgetting her answers to your previous questions or asking the same questions repeatedly is a major don’t in every girl’s book. In the same vein, being unresponsive conveys signs of indifference or half-heartedness.
Extra Tip: Do not be boring. Participate and pay much attention. If you really like her, this shouldn’t be a problem at all.
#7 Relax and smile. While you don’t have to be rolling on the floor laughing and grinning from ear to ear, do stay relaxed and smile. This doesn’t mean you should be smiling all night and forget talking. Flirty smiles must be occasional but intentional. Do not use smiling as your auto-response. You can do more than that, baby girl. If she flirtatiously smiles back, then YOU ARE ON!
Extra Tip: If you are too nervous to smile, keep in mind that she is as nervous as you are, and there is a good chance that she may just be waiting for any sort of assurance. So smile away and seal the deal!
[Read: 10 answers to dumb questions people ask lesbians]
It is true that flirting is only half the battle, but winning half the battle certainly won’t hurt. So go ahead and win your girl, but at the same time, be brave enough to face a possible rejection. At the end of the day, you’ll never know unless you try it. What is it going to be, pass or play?
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