When the gatherings come around, your family is probably obsessed with asking one question: do you have a boyfriend? This must be frustrating for you.
When all everyone asks you is do you have a boyfriend or not, it can be frustrating given that’s all they ever dwell on. No matter how vibrant you share your life to be, all they seem to focus on is that one particular detail.
It’s not that it’s a hard question to answer because in reality, it’s really not. It’s what comes after that’s frustrating – why don’t you have a boyfriend? We don’t often know why we don’t have a boyfriend so asking can feel like a slap in the face.
You do your best to answer in a polite yet friendly manner but deep inside, you’re raging with frustration, confusion, and a mix of other difficult feelings. [Read: Experiences all single people face]
Answering the do you have a boyfriend question
When people ask you these questions, they’re asking you what’s wrong with you. Why aren’t you with someone? Why haven’t you found someone?
Most of us awkwardly smile while others drown ourselves in the holiday food in front of us. No matter how much you love your family, this question always manages to make you lose your cool entirely.
When asked this, the best way to keep your cool is to avoid arguing or showing your frustrations. You can instead choose to laugh at the absurdity of the question or even ask them a question back. They asked you a frustrating question, why shouldn’t you do the same?
This is why we’ll be guiding you the right way how to answer the question of do you have a boyfriend. Once you know the right answers, you can keep your cool in front of any family gathering and holidays.
1. Shut the question down
Now, if your 90-year-old grandma is asking you this question, you’re not going to tell her to shut up. Instead, you’ll find a nicer and gentler way to answer the question. Be easy on grandma.
However, there are just some people that make them hard to tolerate, given how many times they keep smothering you with this question. Gently let them down and tell them you’re done asking this question.
If they persist why, tell them that your love life has nothing to do with them – politely, of course. Not unless you want to get yourself kicked out of the family gathering. [Read: Stop pleasing people and feel awesome instead]
2. Talk about the good things in your life
Not having a boyfriend isn’t the end of the world. It might be ideal, but if you’re not in a rush, why are they? You are more than happy and content with being single right now.
When someone asks you the question *do you have a boyfriend?*, talk about the things you’re grateful for in your life because it’s about what you have right now.
Hit them with envy with your vibrant stories of traveling the world, career promotions, and numerous new things you’ve tried. You might be single, but you’re living your best life – show them that! [Read: How to find happiness being alone]
3. Be self-aware
Self-awareness probably is your least favorite thing in the world, right? However, you’ll love it when you use it to your advantage in answering the question do you have a boyfriend.
You know what you want and what you deserve. You know exactly who you are, so why would you lessen yourself for someone that you don’t think is truly right for you?
If a relationship comes, then it comes, but you have no desire to force yourself to have one.
You want to find someone who you think truly matches you, and listen, that’ll take a while. When your family pushes you to answer, tell them you’re focused on your betterment and you’re waiting for the right moment. That kind of confidence is everything you need to shut them up.
4. Tell them you’re not interested in drama
Nobody in their sane mind would want drama in their lives. Yes, a relationship has its beautiful moments where you feel like you’re flying.
However, it’s also bound to have moments where you feel pain and heartbreak. Right now, you’re trying to figure out how you’re going to pay for your phone bill and rent at the same time.
Frankly, you don’t have the time to stress over a fight you got with your boyfriend or how they can’t even bother to understand you. As of now, you’re trying to get your shit together and that’s more than enough.
5. Tell them you’re focused on yourself
We live in a world that leads you to believe that being in a relationship is more fun than being single, but that’s not true. There are so many things you can experience when you’re single that help you focus more on yourself. There’s nothing wrong with this, and honestly, this is really selfless of you.
Before you enter a relationship, you need to be the right person so you don’t end up inflicting damage to the person you date. Rather than expecting them to be the right person for you, become the right person first. [Read: 15 reasons why being single can be so much better than being in a relationship]
6. Say you have things to accomplishments
There’s no denying the fact that relationships can become a major distraction in your career, especially if you’re not ready.
Maybe you want to move to another country or travel around the world for a year. It’s a valid thing to say to someone who keeps asking the question do you want a boyfriend.
You have dreams and goals that you want to accomplish and don’t want any unnecessary stress. Even if a relationship isn’t purely drama and stress, it can affect following your goals and dreams.
7. Say you feel stuck
We’ve all experienced those days where no matter how hard we try, we just end up feeling stuck in life. You just don’t know what to do, and that’s okay.
Mind you, you don’t need your family to remind you of why you’re not in a relationship.
It’s okay to just tell them that you’re feeling stuck in your life. Otherwise, if you end up forcing yourself to have a relationship with all that baggage, it could harm the other person.
Your family just has to realize that dating when you’re not ready can do more harm than good, especially in the long run. Feeling stuck is probably the worst feeling in the world and adding a relationship won’t do any help. [Read: Legit reasons why it’s okay to not be in a relationship]
8. Laugh at them
Okay, maybe don’t do your crazy laugh, but simply laughing at the question can make you collect your cool.
Even when you’re raging with frustration inside, laughing at the question will dismiss the question entirely – or at least, that’s what we hope.
What else can you say? It’s a stupid question and it’s the fifth time you have to answer it today so you’ve hit the boiling point.
Instead of constantly arguing and being frustrated every time someone asks you this question, you can brush them off with a laugh.
9. Change the subject
You can always use your deflecting skills if you really want to get out of the subject. Just talk about your dog or show a YouTube video of a cute baby goat, that always does the trick.
You should also realize by now that even if they’re your family, only you have a say on what you choose to share.
If you refuse to say anything regarding your love life, they should respect that. As your family, they should also know that it’s so uncomfortable to answer why you don’t have a boyfriend when you don’t know the reason. [Read: 15 things to do when you feel like you’ll be single forever]
10. Ask if they know anyone single
Well, since they’re asking, you might as well network. The greatest tactic you can use to your advantage is to ask a question back whenever they ask do you have a boyfriend.
You never know, they could potentially link you to someone with the most gorgeous eyes!
The best part is – asking this question back will definitely shut them up. It makes it seem like you’re doing the effort to find a potential boyfriend, even if you’re really not.
11. Lie to them
Before you go all ‘it’s bad to lie’ on this portion, a white lie can be beneficial in dealing with unbearable family gatherings. If they keep pressuring you to answer the question do you have a boyfriend, you could always say a white lie.
Tell them you’re dating someone and still seeing where it goes, even if the reality is you’re not. This will shut down the topic entirely and move to the next. However, you must have a backup story on who this potential lover of yours is. [Read: Follow these golden rules to not hurt people’s feelings]
12. Ask them for dating advice
If your grandma pesters you about finding a boyfriend, flip the question and ask her how to find a good guy. This would flip their focus on you having a boyfriend to giving you the perfect piece of advice.
They could even talk about their dating experience so the focus shifts from you to them. It’s an effective tactic! These stories are always interesting and could be relatable to you as well. [Read: 11 things about being single people fear the most]
13. Be vulnerable
If none of these ways work and your family is really that difficult to deal with, be vulnerable. This should be your last option since who likes being vulnerable, right? However, simply telling them the truth will definitely shut them up.
Traumatized by your ex, focusing on your career, enjoying having fun? Tell them all these things and don’t be afraid of getting real with your family. If they love you, they’ll understand and stop pressuring you when you’re just not ready.
So, how do you answer do you have a boyfriend?
There’s never a perfect way to answer this frustrating question, but the ones mentioned above can greatly help with unbearable family gatherings and holidays.
This question isn’t going to get easy, but you’ll handle it with more grace and calmness when you get used to it. You might even learn to laugh at this question when someone asks you for the 10th time.
Now that you know how to answer the dreadful question do you have a boyfriend, you know the right ways to deal with your next family gathering.
