When the family festivities come around, your family probably all ask you the same question, the do you have a boyfriend one.
I was single for years. Like, I’m talking about four plus years of pure singleness. Sure, I dated, but I never managed to find someone who truly fit me. I would keep them around for a couple weeks and realize they aren’t for me, and, well… onto the next. But one question I was always asked: do you have a boyfriend, which was never hard to answer.
I didn’t need to lie, so I would just say no. But the question that came after would always be a challenge. People usually asked why. Why? How am I supposed to know why? [Read: Experiences all single people face]
Answering the do you have a boyfriend question
When people ask you these questions, they’re asking you what’s wrong with you. Why aren’t you with someone? Why haven’t you found someone. Your sister Susy found her man, why can’t you find yours? And how are you supposed to answer this? Most of us awkwardly smile while others, including myself, drown ourselves in the holiday food in front of us.
Honestly, I think my coping method is the best. But listen, you shouldn’t hide in your plate of food, waiting for the question to pass you by. Instead, have a couple answers prepared so you can answer and move on. Once you know the right answers, it’s an easy question to answer.
#1 Shut the question down. Now, if your 90-year-old grandma is asking you this question, you’re not going to tell her to shut up. Instead, you’ll find a nicer and gentler way to answer the question. Be easy on grandma.
#2 Talk about the good things in your life. Sure, having a partner would be nice but that doesn’t mean your life was crappy before they entered your world. No way. You have so many things that bring richness to your life, these are the things you need to mention.
When someone asks you the question *do you have a boyfriend?*, talk about the things you’re grateful for in your life because it’s about what you have right now. [Read: How to find happiness being alone]
#3 You’re self-aware. You know what you want. You know exactly who you are, so why would you lessen yourself for something that you don’t think is truly right for you? This is no different from relationships. You want to find someone who you think truly matches you, and listen, that’ll take a while. So, when you hear someone ask you that, tell them you’re waiting until you find the right person.
#4 You’re not looking for drama. You want to do your own thing, I get it. Right now, you’re trying to figure out how you’re going to pay for your phone bill and rent at the same time. You can’t be bothered listening to the problems of your boyfriend, you have your own to worry about. As for now, you’re trying to get your shit together.
#5 It’s me time. You’re not ready to think about anyone else but yourself. You love being single and enjoy spending your time focusing on yourself. There’s nothing wrong with this, and honestly, this is really selfless of you. If you’re focused on yourself, being in a relationship wouldn’t be fair to the other person. So, tell them that you’re enjoying this time for yourself. [Read: 15 reasons why being single can be so much better than being in a relationship]
#6 You have things you want to accomplish. Maybe you want to move to another country or travel around the world for a year. You know very well that having a boyfriend may change your goals and don’t want that to interfere with your dreams. You have dreams and goals that you want to accomplish and don’t want any unnecessary stress.
#7 You’re stuck. It’s okay to admit this. I was also stuck, not sure why I wasn’t able to meet someone when I wanted to. Mind you, you don’t need your family to remind you of why you’re not in a relationship. It’s okay to just tell them that you’re feeling stuck in your life, so, you’re taking this time to figure things out. [Read: Legit reasons why it’s okay to not be in a relationship]
#8 Just laugh. Sometimes, you’re in such an awkward situation there’s only one thing to do and that’s to laugh. What else can you say? It’s a stupid question and it’s the fifth time you have to answer it today so you’ve hit the boiling point. So instead of freaking out, just laugh until you can’t laugh anymore. It’s a better coping mechanism than crying.
#9 Change the subject. Just talk about your dog or show a YouTube video of a cute baby goat, that always does the trick. You don’t have to answer the question if you don’t want to. So, instead of sitting there awkwardly in silence, just change the subject instead. [Read: 15 things to do when you feel like you’ll be single forever]
#10 Ask if they know anyone single. Well, since they’re asking, you might as well network. If you’re not tired of answering this question, why not ask them a question back. See if they know anyone single, who knows, maybe they have some family friends with cute single sons. You don’t know! So take advantage of the opportunity.
#11 Lie. It’s a white lie, no one will actually care. Just tell them you have a boyfriend or you’re dating yourself. That tends to shut the topic down quite quickly unless you talk to someone who loves to gossip. In that case, you better have a backup story about your imaginary boyfriend. [Read: Follow these golden rules to not hurt people’s feelings]
#12 Ask them for dating advice. If your grandma pesters you about finding a boyfriend, flip the question and ask her how to find a good guy. Now, what’s great about this is that depending on who you’re talking to, they may open up and tell you about their dating experience.
These stories are always interesting and may be relatable to you as well. For example, my grandma asked me this, and when I asked her about her dating life in the past, I discovered a whole other side to her and realized we experienced many similar situations.