If presented with the option of getting a Pap smear, getting a spray tan, or getting a bikini wax done by a professional, I will inevitably choose the Pap smear. Why? The answer doesn’t involve my sincere love of getting poked and prodded by my gynecologist while she asks ho-hum questions about home décor and where I went to college. No, it’s because I hate being cosmetically naked in front of strangers.
Spray tanning? An awkward experience of me standing like an idiot in a throw-away bra and panty set, waiting to become a lovely hue of orange. And don’t get me started on the bikini wax…
I know I’m not the only one who doesn’t appreciate having my vagina slathered in hot wax and gawked at by a complete stranger. From various Internet article comments to in-depth conversations with my girlfriends, the topic seems to be universal: bikini waxes are awkward, hilarious, and mind-blowingly painful, especially for first timers. So how do you avoid the waiting room worries before having a complete stranger take care of your lady bits?
Easy: Wax at home.
Why wax at all?
There are plenty of genital purists out there who prefer a large ‘70s bush, or don’t feel that they should take care of business down south, just to appease society. I, for one, don’t keep trim for society. Society is not seeing my vagina. I take care of it, because I like being clean, I like how it looks, and if I expect my man to take care of business *whatever the case may be, whether he chooses to take it all off or simply trim up*, then I will certainly offer him the same benefit.
Why not just shave it?
I hear some skeptics out there, wincing in pain at the thought of hot wax ripping out the hairs from their sensitive nether regions, eagerly suggesting: Why not just shave? Many women do. This is a painless way to get the job done that most likely everyone practices at one point or another. But there are benefits to waxing over shaving that won’t be ignored.
#1 It lasts a million times longer *Number may not be exact* Unlike shaving, which still allows little dots of hair to be seen from under the skin – waxing gets the root of that sucker, and pulls it out completely, meaning it takes much longer to grow back.
#2 There’s no risk of cutting yourself. The number of times I have cut my ankle while shaving has literally resulted in permanent scars on both my ankles in the shape of a razor line. Now imagine bringing that sucker onto your vagina lips for an up close and personal shave. Not exactly ideal. It should be noted that for the first couple of times, you may experience spots of blood near the hair follicle, but this usually stops.
#3 No ingrown hairs. Nothing is more annoying that having a perfect shave, and then noticing dozens of red rash spots or ingrown hairs afterwards. Hold on while I grab some tweezers. Ouch!
Benefits of waxing at home
For those who did not grow up in a comfortable “naked family,” or who simply hate the idea of baring it all to a complete stranger, the benefits of waxing at home seem to outweigh all other options. Here are some benefits of waxing at home.
#1 No strangers have to see you naked. Have you ever watched a reaction bikini wax video or an instructional video for a bikini wax? If so, you’ll see that those women’s hands are going to be all over your V. Yeah, yeah, she’s a professional and she sees it all the time, but if you’re not comfortable with a stranger pouring hot wax on your va-jay-jay and getting all up in there – home waxing is definitely for you.
#2 You can do it at your own pace. If you are a wimp, like me, when it comes to pain, you can take as long as you want to get your wax done. Do one piece at a time, and go slow.
#3 It’s way cheaper. If you don’t have $50+ to spend making your vagina a hair-free zone, you’ll much prefer the waxing method you will find at your local drug store.
Tips for doing the deed
While doing the at-home wax provides you with some level of comfort, you still need to be careful with what you’re doing by keeping these tips in mind.
Waxing tip #1 When waxing at home, make sure you’re pulling the wax off in the same direction as your root grows. This will help the pieces pull out easier.
Waxing tip #2 Have a pair of tweezers and baby powder handy. You’ll want to rub some baby powder on your skin before you apply your wax. This will help the wax adhere to your skin, while the tweezers will be useful for picking up stray hairs left over after waxing.
Waxing tip #3 Post wax, you’re going to be a little sore. Be sure to use a soothing lotion as well as an anti-ingrown hair spray after your wax. Oh, and have an ice pack handy.
Before rushing to wax, there are a few things you should be aware of when it comes to going bare.
#1 It hurts, a lot. But only for the first couple of times you do it. After you’ve gotten used to it, you should find the experience to be relatively pain-free. If you have a very low pain tolerance, popping a painkiller a few minutes before you get started should help.
#2 Your hair needs to be roughly a quarter inch long before waxing. The wax should be able to properly grip onto the hairs to properly get them out.
#3 Don’t let your hair grow too long before waxing. Otherwise, you’ll be in for an unpleasant mess of wax, and may have to wax the same area a few times to get all the hairs out. If your hair down there has grown too long, grab a pair of scissors and give the area a trim.
#4 Do a test wax first. If it’s your first time using at-home wax, be sure to do a test area first to make sure you can A: handle the pain, and B: you don’t get a horrible skin reaction to the wax.
#5 On that note, only buy wax that is perfume-free. Whether you have sensitive skin or not, you should never be putting a perfumed product near your nether regions.
#6 Work on small areas at a time. While you may be tempted to use one giant wax strip to get rid of everything in one go, working on small areas is more efficient. The hair down there grows in different directions, depending on the area. Working on areas that grow in the same direction is more effective and will prevent unsightly ingrown hairs.
[Read: Why you should never be ashamed of what you do for beauty]
Waxing isn’t for everybody, but for those who fancy an at-home treatment, remember to do it for you – not for your boyfriend or anyone else. You should only endure this beauty-pain for your personal enjoyment of having a smooth and clean bikini area. Good luck!
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Waverly Smith is a freelance writer who has been getting paid for spreading her sarcastic take on love, life, and sex since 2010. She is many things that peo...
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