Some girls want purely fun and casual relationships, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But some girls prove to be girlfriend material.
You’ve been in the dating scene for so long—in fact, much too long. At first, you just want to enjoy the ride and see how things go. You’ve had your share of good and bad dates, and you just had enough.
Now, after searching high and low, you feel like you have found “The One.” The only problem is, you’re not sure about his feelings for you. You fear that he doesn’t see you as girlfriend material. [Read: 8 genuine signs he wants a serious relationship with you]
When you’re girlfriend material, you’re showing him that you’re worth being taken seriously. It’s not just all fun and games for you, but you’re the girl he introduces to his friends and family. When you’re this girl, he sees himself dating you and committing himself to you.
In other words, you’re the girl worth showing off to the world and being his partner in everything. You’re not just someone he calls to have a good time, but someone he calls every day.
The factor that differentiates this from a casual girl is the level of commitment. When he sees you as his girlfriend, you’re the only person he will give his heart to. [Read: 11 places to meet women who are girlfriend material]
We’ve all heard this stereotype, one way or another. It really depends on the person how they perceive this, but it’s most often not a bad stereotype. It simply means that you’re a girl worth make the effort for. That doesn’t mean that if you’re not girlfriend material, nobody should commit to you.
It’s just a stereotype that shows how guys can feel that vibe when a girl has that girlfriend vibe more than others. Maybe it’s knowing how to take care of him or consistently communicating with him.
Whatever it is, it means you possess qualities that are often seen in a potential girlfriend and partner. But remember, perception of those qualities differs from person to person. [Read: 12 dating stereotypes of women in a man’s mind]
So how do you let him know that you’re playing for keeps? How do you prove to your guy that you are not just a friend with benefits, but the girlfriend for the long haul?
It can be quite a gamble. But, by being yourself and having the confidence to know what you want, you may actually give your fling a nudge to a “happily ever after.” So follow the advice below, and start getting serious. [Read: How to get him to commit: 15 sneaky ways to make him all yours]
Find time to call or text, even just to say “hi,” or thank him for the mind-blowing sex you had last night. Drop some naughty words to sex it up a little to diffuse the freaky, clingy factor that can instantly turn most guys off.
Asking him about his day lets him know that you thought about him. It tells him that you are interested in how he is, even if you’re not together. Girlfriends tend to send updates and communicate with their partner, even for just a short while.
However, be wary of not being too chummy, especially early in the relationship. The last thing you want is to force it or, even worse, be friend-zoned. [Read: 30 super sexy ways to keep a guy really interested in you]
Men have an innate need to rescue the damsel in distress. Asking for help from him from time to time feeds that need. Whether it is as simple as asking him if you should buy new rims for your car or getting his opinion about career decisions, asking him for advice will take your relationship deeper than just the physical.
If you want him to see you as girlfriend material, asking him for help occasionally will boost his ego and make him feel needed. Just make sure not to overdo it, as you might be seen as needy!
When you are just in the throes of a sexual relationship, you usually don’t touch him or let yourself be touched by him outside the bedroom. This time, take the physical relationship a tad deeper by touching and cuddling outside of the bedroom—of course, in a subtle way.
When you see him, make that peck in the cheek last a few seconds longer, hold his arms or squeeze his hand when he cracks a joke, make that embrace linger just a little, and just take every chance to touch him. [Read: Is he falling for you? – 20 sure signs to read his mind]
Another subtle sign of letting him know you care is by asking him how he is or how his day at the office went. Listen and be genuinely interested. If he’s had a bad day, try to reassure him or cheer him on, if not with some amazing sex, then with tickets to his favorite ball game.
This is a significant aspect if you want to be girlfriend material.
Listen to him ramble on about his day at work and most importantly, care even about the small details. He’ll appreciate this coming from you. By being supportive, you’re subtly showing him that you are in fact worth keeping. [Read: 14 signs he’s truly interested in being with you]
Contrary to popular belief, being a girlfriend doesn’t mean you completely forget and eliminate all the fun and easygoing parts of yourself. You want him to take you seriously, but that doesn’t require not being a fun person! Don’t be afraid to be silly. Better yet, don’t be scared to be yourself.
Make some room for laughter in your rather vague *for now* relationship. Exude confidence, and show that you are comfortable enough to give him insight into who you really are as a person.
Besides, every guy loves a girl who makes him laugh and makes him feel special. You want him to see you as both a partner and girlfriend, which is why goofiness is the key! [Read: 14 insights into what men want and need in a woman]
Leave some toiletries and other small belongings in his apartment. This is not only convenient for you in the long run, but it also gives him a subtle reminder of you around his place. Do the same thing to your place, where you can leave some space in your closet for his stuff.
This is a way of showing him that you are part of his life and that he is part of yours too. Little by little, this cements a long-term VIP status by occupying a significant and private space in his life—his place—and later on, his heart. [Read: 9 signs it’s time to make your relationship official]
One of the aspects that separate a girlfriend from a fling is him introducing you to his friends. Some men also value the opinion of their friends, so getting to know his friends is the key to his heart. Show that you can play it cool and that you can handle hanging out with his crew without losing your feminine side.
By spending time with him and his friends, you learn a lot more about your guy while proving to him that you can handle yourself around all that testosterone.
This also communicates to him that you are independent enough to handle yourself around unfamiliar people and make everyone have a great time. [Read: 12 things guys like in a girl besides her appearance]
Now that you know you want to be serious, make him play the part too. Don’t be available at his convenience, and don’t let him take you for granted. You have to make him work for it and respect you as a woman and as an individual before you decide to turn the relationship into something more.
Let him know that you are interested in more than just a booty call. Prove that putting the two of you together in one room doesn’t necessarily have to end up in sex *although you absolutely don’t mind a happy ending either*.
Show him you can give him what he wants in the bedroom, but also in terms of an actual relationship with him. [Read: The subtle mind games men play and how you can beat them]
If you see other guys and decide on that one guy you want to be in a serious relationship with, make a clean break from the rest of the pack by letting them know that you are no longer available.
“I am seeing someone else, and I am serious about this guy,” may be one way of putting it, so you tie all loose ends before even remotely thinking about the possibility of being with your special someone.
This way, you’re showing him that you’re really invested in a potential relationship. He can’t help but see you as girlfriend material after this. [Read: The understated importance of the backup booty call]
If he can’t muster the words, maybe it’s time for you to say them first. Say, “I love you,” and it may just be worth it. Nothing beats the direct, fuss-free approach, and at this point, it may just be the push he needs. Be honest with him, and tell him you want to take your relationship to the next level.
If you’re bold and you don’t want to beat around the bush, you can tell him, “I think we should move on and stop seeing each other. You’re great, but I’m now looking for something more serious.” If he’s not on the same page as you, then you’re clearly not meant to be together.
Pushing things further after this will just leave you in a one-sided relationship that does absolutely nothing for both parties. Confessing your feelings is the best way he’ll see you as a girlfriend material instead of just someone to have fun with. [Read: How men fall in love with a girl – The 7 stages of love for men]
One of the vital characteristics of a girlfriend is taking care of her man when he’s sick. So if you really want to be seen as something more than a fling or one-night-stand, show him you’re there to take care of him.
Provide his needs when he’s down, such as medication, water, and just being by his side. He might be uncomfortable with it at first *because, let’s face it, who likes showing vulnerability?* However, when he gets better, he’ll appreciate you sticking by his side through it all. [Read: How to be a good girlfriend: 27 ways to make him love you more!]
A girlfriend material means you have to blend in with anyone, no matter what the event is or who the crowd might be. So if he takes you to his sister’s wedding, a party with his bros, or a family reunion, you need to blend in perfectly.
That’s how he’ll be able to see that you belong in his life. Also, it’s a bonus if all his friends and family end up loving you! The minute you charm your way into their approval, you’re a step closer to being his actual girlfriend. [Read: Social anxiety to social butterfly: How to be less awkward]
Being a girlfriend doesn’t mean you have to smother him with affection and clinginess all the time. Men actually admire a girl who is independent enough to be her own person but can also be a partner to him when it counts.
So if you want to be seen as someone worth taking seriously, independence is key. Don’t suffocate him with all your time and energy, but live your life. Don’t revolve your life around him *no matter how much you like him*! [Read: How to be independent even if you’re in a relationship]
A relationship is all about partnership, which is precisely what being perceived as girlfriend material is all about. You need to show him that you can be his partner, best friend, and girlfriend simultaneously.
Whether it’s helping him around the house or just having his back, this also means there’s no room to feel threatened with any power struggle in the relationship. You need to see him as your equal to be seen as a potential girlfriend. [Read: 15 rules to be a good partner in a relationship & wow your lover]
This is one of the challenging aspects of a relationship, but you need to open up to him. The aspect that differentiates a fling from a girlfriend is his ability to open up to you. There’s no way he would spill his darkest secrets with a fling since you’re just casual to him.
So if you want to change his mind, open up first so he’ll also open up to you. It’s going to be scary and uncomfortable, especially without the assurance he’ll open up as well. But you need to let him see the real you if you want to open the possibility of a relationship with him.
Being girlfriend material is all about commitment. Show him that you’re not just the girl he calls for having fun in the bedroom, but also other things. You need to show him that you’re not just a fling, but you can be his partner for a prolonged period too.
[Read: What does it mean to be vulnerable? 15 ways you can open up more]
While a no-strings-attached setup is fun, you might want to level up your relationship, especially if you’re falling for him. With these tips, you can possibly change his mind about seeing you as girlfriend material.
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