How to Get Over Unrequited Love & 32 Healing Steps to Move On for Good
Feeling stuck in one-sided love? Learn how to get over unrequited love with these honest, psychology-backed tips to heal, move on, and take back your power.
Learning how to get over unrequited love is more about understanding your own heart, and how you feel. You know that aching feeling in your chest when you love someone so deeply… and they just don’t feel the same way?
Maybe they said they “just don’t see you that way.” Or worse, maybe they never said anything at all, you just kept waiting, hoping, overanalyzing every emoji, every glance, every maybe.
Unrequited love hurts. And what makes it worse? You can’t just snap out of it. Your brain doesn’t understand logic when your heart’s been daydreaming for months.
But here’s the truth: you can get over unrequited love. It’s not easy, and it won’t be overnight, but it’s 100% possible. And not only will you heal, you’ll come out of it wiser, stronger, and more in control of your own story.
What is Unrequited Love?
Unrequited love is when your feelings for someone aren’t returned in the same way, or at all. You care deeply, you might even be in love with them… but they don’t feel the same. They might not even know how strongly you feel, or maybe they’ve friendzoned you, breadcrumbed you, or led you on without meaning to.
Psychologically, unrequited love activates the same brain regions as physical pain, especially the anterior cingulate cortex, which lights up when we feel social rejection. So if it hurts like hell, you’re not imagining it. Your brain literally processes rejection like a burn.
📚 Source: Eisenberger, N.I., et al., 2003, Does rejection hurt? An fMRI study of social exclusion
Want to know if you’re stuck in one-sided love or how to spot the signs early? Check out our full guide
If you’re still not sure whether what you’re feeling is unrequited love, or if you’re curious about why we fall into this emotional trap so easily, check out our full breakdown on 👉 what unrequited love is, why it happens, and how to spot the signs
The 5 Stages to Get Over Unrequited Love
Before we dive into the steps, it helps to understand that healing doesn’t happen in a straight line. Getting over unrequited love is a messy but beautiful process. One day, you’ll feel like you’re totally fine, and the next, a song or a memory hits you like a truck. That’s normal.
These steps are grouped into 5 emotional stages. Whether you take baby steps or leap forward, each one will bring you closer to healing, and to the version of you that doesn’t wait around for someone to love you back.
Step 1: Accepting the Truth
This is the hardest part, facing the truth that your love isn’t returned. No more “what ifs” or “maybes.” Just the reality that their feelings don’t match yours.
It stings. But acceptance is the foundation of closure. Without it, you’re just chasing a fantasy and reopening the wound every day. These first two steps are about gently but firmly drawing the line between hope and self-preservation.
1. Accept that the love is unrequited
The most important thing you do to move on is simply to accept it.
People waste years trying to make the object of their affection change, hoping that maybe one day they will see them differently, or suddenly the veil will be lifted, and they’ll fall head over heels for them too.
It’s easy to be in denial with unrequited love, but it’s only further delaying your moving-on process. If they tell you they don’t feel the same, accept it and make your peace with it.
The faster you come to terms with it, the better. [Read: 25 signs your heart is breaking *and how to get over it*]
2. Forgive them
It’s hard not to feel hurt and bitter if you have strong feelings for someone and they don’t feel the same way.
But remember, they’re probably not intentionally trying to hurt you; they just don’t feel the same. Instead of becoming resentful towards them, forgive them and understand that it isn’t anyone’s fault.
The more you hold a grudge against them, the more you can’t move on from the pain you feel. So forgive them for not liking or loving you back, and know you tried to do everything on your end. [Read: How to forgive and forget? 24 thoughts to decide on the right step]
👉 Want to get over unrequited love faster? Use these guides:
- How to Stop Liking Someone: 50 Psych Backed Truths to Let Go & Grow ASAP
- Saying “I Love You” & Not Hearing It Back: Why It Hurts to Accept It
- How to Heal From the Pain of Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Love You Back
- Loving Someone You Can’t Have: 15 Ways to Accept Unreciprocated Love
- What Is One-Sided Love? 20 Ways to Cope When You’re Not Loved Back
Step 2: Reclaiming Your Emotional Energy
Unrequited love is exhausting. You’ve likely spent months, or even years, giving your heart, your energy, and your time to someone who wasn’t giving it back.
It’s time to pull that energy inward. In this section, we’ll start to rebuild. By dating, venting, resting, and treating yourself with love, you begin to refill your emotional tank.
Psychologists have found that people with anxious attachment styles tend to experience unrequited love more intensely due to heightened rumination and a fear of abandonment. Recognizing your attachment style can be a game-changer in healing and creating healthier future relationships. 📚 Source: Irene Messina, et al., 2024, Attachment orientations and emotion regulation
3. Go on other dates
Try to see who else is out there. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to find that special someone, or at least realize that there are plenty of lovely, attractive, funny people out there.
Dating around and getting yourself out there is the best way to recognize that there really are plenty of fish on the sea!
Even if dating is the last thing you want to do right now, do it anyway. The way to move past unrequited love is to find someone else who reciprocates your feelings. [Read: Very good e examples and funny Tinder bios to get laid or find a date ASAP]
4. Talk about your unrequited love with friends
If you feel hurt and upset about being rejected by someone you love, don’t bottle it up.
Your friends are there to lean on and help you make sense of your feelings, to give you comfort, and to persuade you that the person isn’t worth your time! So, make sure you talk to people about it.
Often, talking it through will make you feel so much better. Unreciprocated love hurts like a bitch, but that’s not an excuse to push your friends away and turn into a lonely hermit. [Read: Good friends are like stars – 18 ways to build lasting friendships]
5. Give yourself a break
Stop blaming yourself and realize it is nothing you did, and nothing you change about yourself will make a difference right now.
It’s so easy to think, “if I were just a little thinner” or “if I just hadn’t said that stupid thing,” everything would be different. But you shouldn’t have to change yourself for someone else—remember that!
So go easy on yourself rather than going into full self-blame. Remember that it’s nothing you lack that means they don’t feel the same way, but some things just aren’t meant to be.
If they were the right person for you, they would’ve returned your feelings! [Read: How to heal from the pain of loving someone who doesn’t love you back]
6. Treat yourself
When you feel hurt, remember to be kind to yourself. Go for a massage, cook yourself a nice dinner, and buy those shoes you eyed for ages. Doing nice things for yourself is sure to bring a smile back to your face.
When you’re going through pain from unrequited love, this is your opportunity to spoil yourself and treat yourself. And most importantly, show yourself that you still love yourself.
This will not only make you feel better, but it could help you put things in perspective. [Read: 34 life-changing steps to fall in love with yourself all over again]
7. Distance yourself from your unrequited love
In order to get over someone, get your space. It’s hard, we know, but putting some distance between you two helps you heal.
You won’t get over the fact they didn’t return your feelings if you stay in contact with them. To move on from unrequited love, you need to put enough space between you two.
If you were initially friends, this would be harder because there’s a risk of the friendship being affected.
But if you weren’t friends before you caught feelings for them, it’s time to step back and create a little distance from them. [Read: How to emotionally detach from someone and stop them from hurting you]
8. Do lots of things for you
Make loads of time for yourself and do things you’ve always wanted to do. The more you achieve and the more goals you hit, the better you’ll feel about yourself.
When you’re in a phase of heartbreak and pain, the best thing to do is shift your focus from them to yourself.
Reinvent yourself and try several new things while you’re at it! Hit the gym, focus on your work, try to create a piece of work, and do everything you’ve always wanted to try! [Read: How to take care of yourself emotionally and avoid falling apart]
9. Enjoy single life
Remember, single life has a lot of perks too *maybe even more than being in a relationship*!
If you spent too long dwelling on this person, you’ve probably forgotten that. So, try to enjoy yourself, be more independent, and revel in your freedom. While being in a relationship and dating can be fun, realize that being single can be equally fun.
You’re missing out a lot by focusing on someone who doesn’t reciprocate your love. The faster you realize this, the more capable you will be in moving past your unrequited love. [Read: Single for life – Enjoy the ride and find the one along the way]
Step 3: Detaching With Love
This is where you start cutting the cords, not with hate, but with love. You still might care about them, but caring doesn’t mean sacrificing your mental health.
This phase is all about removing triggers, finding healthy distractions, and grounding yourself in your own emotional power. You’re not ghosting them, you’re protecting yourself.
10. Get healthy
It can be tempting to lock ourselves in our houses and eat buckets of ice cream when we’re upset. However, do yourself a favor by eating healthily and exercising. Those feel-good endorphins make you feel great and have loads more energy too.
You can eat a tub of ice cream and cry about your feelings one night. But after that, get back up and take care of yourself!
Remind yourself that you’re stronger than you think. Self-destructive habits aren’t an option, no matter how desperate you are to distract yourself. [Read: Healthy relationship – 27 signs, qualities, and what it looks like in real life]
11. Keep busy
Don’t wallow in your misery and distract yourself by keeping as busy as you can. Just take things day by day, but keep them action-packed.
Then you won’t have time to stop and be miserable anyway. So, stay busy and use your time and energy to be productive.
If you want to move on from your unrequited love, keeping busy is the best option that won’t encourage you to resort to destructive habits. You’re heartbroken, but that’s not an excuse to self-sabotage. [Read: Ways to stop moaning and stay busy after a breakup]
12. Spend time with people who do love you
Remember, just because this person doesn’t reciprocate your love doesn’t mean there aren’t loads of people out there who think you are amazing!
Focus on them instead. You have so much love in your life and one person not loving you back isn’t the end of the world *even if it might feel like it right now*.
Now spend time with the people you love and let yourself feel loved and supported around them. They’re exactly who you need when moving on from unrequited love. [Read: True friendship – 37 real friend traits and what it takes to be a good one]
13. Take up meditation
Doing something relaxing and cathartic like meditation helps you free your mind and put things in perspective.
Give it a go! It’s a breathing technique that can significantly help you accept your difficult emotions and thoughts while also letting them go. [Read: How to release anger – 20 ways to focus on the positives in life]
Never underestimate the power of meditation when dealing with heartbreak.
14. Go for long walks
Sometimes, getting out into nature and taking in fresh air gives you a new perspective on things. Long walks are a great time to spend mulling things over, and the exercise makes you feel good too.
You’re more likely to dwell on your unrequited love when you stay within the same environment constantly. [Read: 42 rules to forget someone you love and cared for as fast as possible]
So going for walks will help you get a change of environment so that you don’t focus as much on your heartbreak and the fact that they don’t feel the same way.
15. Listen to uplifting music
Don’t indulge in your sadness by putting on all those heartbreak tracks. Instead, create a playlist of songs that get you going, lift your mood, and make you feel great.
Play it every time you feel sad. Don’t underestimate the power of good music when you’re trying to overcome unrequited love. [Read: 40 fun and upbeat songs to groove you out of that funk]
16. Do something daring
Be brave, and take on the world! Do something that scares you! Doing something daring gives you a new sense of courage and independence. It’s the perfect chance to try something new and get out of your horizons.
You’ve been so focused on chasing the person you like that you forgot to actually live your life. So now’s your chance to do that! Travel alone, go cliff diving, ride a bike, or do whatever you feel like doing. [Read: 20 lifestyle changes to make in your 20s for a better life]
17. Sing your heart out
Singing helps you release some of that pent-up emotion, so even if you’re not the best singer, just go for it! You don’t have to be the best singer to sing, you know?
This is actually very therapeutic for heartbreaks and pain, so it’s now or never to get singing. Just like you should dance like nobody’s watching, the same goes for singing in the shower!
Step 4: Rediscovering Yourself
Once the fog starts lifting, you’ll notice something beautiful: you’re still here. You’re still worthy. This is the rediscovery phase.
You’ll learn from the heartbreak, reclaim your self-worth, and build something meaningful from the pain. This is where real transformation happens.
18. Dance!
Dancing is another feel-good activity where you really shake out all the emotions you feel. Whether it’s at a great club or in your undies in the living room, dancing helps us feel great. [Read: 40 ways to have fun with friends, beat boredom, and create new memories]
It’s not the end of the world, so it’s time to dance your sorrows away! You’ll immediately feel better by just dancing to your favorite tune. Who cares if you’re listening to Taylor Swift? Just listen and dance!
Dancing releases endorphins and dopamine in your body, which are hormones that make you feel good. Want to get past your unrequited love? Then dance *you’ll regret it if you don’t*!
19. Know it happens to the best of us
Remember, you are not alone in this, no matter how lonely you feel. Unreciprocated love happens to most people and pretty much everyone survives it, so take comfort in that. [Read: Loving someone you can’t have – 15 ways to accept unreciprocated love]
If you ever feel alone in your heartbreak, remember that every person has experienced this at least once in their lives. And they’ve all overcome it.
It happens even to the best of us, but you eventually gather the strength to move on and find someone better; someone who will return your feelings.
20. Learn from unrequited love
Try to reflect on your experience of unrequited love and use it to help you make better decisions and have healthier relationships in the future. There’s always something you can learn from your experience with dating and relationships. [Read: Things about love you’ll only learn from experience]
So look back and reflect on the lessons you can take from this painful experience. There’s always something, so pay attention and imprint the lessons in your heart.
21. Allow yourself to hurt
Remember, it is okay to be sad at times. Allow yourself to feel it, but just don’t let it become all that you do. Allow yourself to be hurt, but don’t dwell on the pain. Your heartbreak will never define you, and you’re so much stronger than you believe right now.
You will have feelings for someone else again, and you’ll go back to this moment where you thought you’d never get past your unrequited love. [Read: How to unlove someone even if you feel like you can never forget them]
As uncomfortable as it feels, let yourself get hurt, but remember that you will look back at this moment in the future and have a laugh.
22. Know you’ll find someone better
You really will find someone so much better for you and who makes you feel amazing. Try to remember this and really believe it.
The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll be able to move on. You’ll find someone who sees you for how amazing you truly are, and they’ll return your feelings. You just have to hold on and give yourself time to move on from the pain. [Read: 20 revealing questions to get to know someone better]
23. Find meaning in the experience
Just like learning from the experience, there’s always something meaningful you can get from unrequited love.
For instance, when you realize that unrequited love is also a way to get yourself closer to the person really meant for you, you’ll be thankful it happened when you look back on it. [Read: The experience of love – fickle & best enjoyed moment by moment?]
You’re only one heartbreak away from finding the person who actually returns your feelings, so hold on to that.
24. Realize you did everything you could
If you’re tempted to blame yourself, realize that you did everything in your power to build a connection with them.
If they didn’t like you back, that isn’t your fault. Don’t use this as a chance to blame yourself and focus on your flaws and imperfections. [Read: How to impress your crush – 25 tips to steal their heart effortlessly]
Don’t go down the self-destructive path, as there’s nothing about it that will make you move on from them. Change your perspective and stop blaming yourself, even if it’s so easy to do so.
Step 5: Breaking the Cycle for Good
Have you been here before, crushing on someone who doesn’t feel the same? These final steps are about breaking that loop.
You’ll learn how to reset your patterns, build boundaries, and rewire your attraction compass. Because the goal isn’t just to get over this person, it’s to make sure you never fall into unrequited love again.
25. Ask yourself what you want
If and only if this isn’t your first unrequited love, there could be a cycle going on. It’s possible that you’re so used to having what you can’t have that you completely ignore everyone else who feels something for you.
Maybe you’re sabotaging your own happiness, or maybe you don’t think you deserve it. [Read: 25 honest, self-reflection questions to recognize the real YOU inside]
Whatever the reason, if this cycle has been going on for quite some time, you can only move on by stopping the cycle altogether. No matter what your mind convinces you of, you deserve love and happiness.
26. Don’t have long conversations
Sometimes, you may bump into your crush or find yourself in a circumstance where you’re obligated to sit together for a while.
Talk to your crush in a friendly way, but never let the flirting games take control. It can feel so good when your crush lingers their palm on you or talks about how good you look. [Read: How to get to know your crush ASAP before you fall too hard for them]
Steer the conversation away from anything flirty or romantic. Remind yourself that this person is only toying with you and trying to make you fall more in love, just to have a good time. If your crush persists, you can open up and tell them the truth subtly.
27. Have more self-respect
People who find themselves experiencing the pangs of unrequited love absolutely have no self-respect. It’s true and you just have to accept it.
It hurts, but acknowledging it will help give you the strength to walk away. If you really did love and respect yourself, would you be throwing yourself at the feet of someone who doesn’t even treat you right?
Unrequited love can suck the confidence and happiness out of your life, but all it takes is little steps to bring it all back. Start believing in yourself and understand your real worth, and realize the fact that you’re a wonderful person who deserves someone a lot better.
28. Realize how stupid you’ve been
When you’re in love, it’s alright to run errands and make a fool of yourself for your lover. But that’s completely unacceptable if you’re drowning in unrequited love.
Your crush may have learned to use you for their benefit all this while, but now it’s time to put your foot down. Don’t go out of your way to help your crush.
In fact, don’t even bother trying to help your crush in any way. [Read: People pleaser – 21 signs you’re one and how to stop people pleasing]
Helping a crush in need may make your day, but it also makes you an idiot who doesn’t see the big picture where your crush is using you, ridiculing you, and laughing at you, behind your back.
29. Understand that there’s no happy ending here
Reading about how stupid and weak you’ve been may hurt you, but it’ll help you realize how wrong you’ve been to fall in love and stay in love with someone who will never ever love you back.
Your crush may smile at you and wink at you today, but if you want to know how to get over unrequited love, you need to remind yourself of the big picture. [Read: Signs of obsession – the signs of obsessive love you can’t ignore]
There is no happy ending in this kind of one-sided relationship.
Your crush will always use you, and you’ll always stay used and loveless. As exciting as a smile may seem today, you have to remember that you’ll never really experience happiness as long as you’re sinking in unrequited love.
30. Don’t let your crush know you’re hurting
In a relationship, the one who loves less controls the emotions in the relationship. In unrequited love, you’re madly and hopelessly in love.
And your crush couldn’t care less about you. Can you even guess who’s controlling this relationship? [Read: 20 wild steps to get over a broken heart and heal like you don’t care]
When you try to get out of unrequited love, your crush may try harder to make you fall more in love. Your crush may sweet talk you, cuddle you, or even ask you out in jest, but don’t fall for it. And never ever let your crush know that you’re hurting inside.
By doing that, you’re letting your crush know that you’re still madly in love with them. And your crush would try to find all ways to try and use you up and pin you down in unrequited love. [Read: Why do men like a chase and how to use it in your favor]
31. Meet more people and make new friends
If you want to get your mind off your crush, you need to learn to keep yourself occupied. Meet new friends or reconnect with old happy friends that you know can cheer you up.
The less you think about your crush, the stronger you’ll feel. Don’t lock yourself up at home in isolation. Go out with friends, shop for a while, or rent a few good movies *not the rom-coms*, and have a good time all the time.
It’ll help you move on and help you realize that you don’t need this person in your life to experience happiness. [Read: How to find the right person when you’ve given up hope]
32. Create new happy experiences
To understand how to get over unrequited love, you need to fill your life with new, exciting experiences. Wake up listening to your favorite song, join a gym, start a few hobbies, or take a little vacation with friends.
When you’re in unrequited love, all your memories will revolve around just one person. Create new happy memories and replace all the sadness in your life with happy thoughts, one step at a time. [Read: 33 Strong Ways to Stop Loving Someone & Read the Signs It’s Time to Walk Away]
The truth about unrequited love
Unrequited love might make you feel like you’re not enough, but that’s a lie your pain is telling you. The truth is, you loved deeply, and that’s brave. You opened your heart, and that means it still works.
You won’t always feel this way. One day, you’ll look back and thank this experience, for teaching you boundaries, resilience, and how to choose yourself first.
So take it one day at a time. Heal at your own pace. And when you’re ready, love again, with someone who loves you back, just as hard.
[Read: The One That Got Away: 47 Signs You Still Miss Them & How to Let Go of Them]
You’ve made it through the hardest part. Now you know how to get over unrequited love, not by pretending it didn’t hurt, but by choosing to heal anyway. The love you gave wasn’t wasted; it’s just being redirected back to someone who needs it most right now, you.
