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29 Best Sex Secrets to Have Better Sex & Enjoy It More Every Single Time!

Has your sex life become lackluster? If it has, then you need to know how to have the best sex. Here’s how you can change it around and make it better again.

best ways to have better sex

Sex is supposed to be amazing. It’s supposed to feel great and please you in every way. You should roll over feeling satisfied, incredible, and on top of the world. And if you’re not feeling like that, you need to know how to have the best sex.

Everyone deserves that toe-curling, back-arching, moan-inducing sex that leaves their legs wobbly, and a smile on their face for days. 

Without it, you can get all wound up and wonder what’s missing from your life. If this is you, let’s see how we can ensure you have the best sex ever, every time. [Read: How important is sex in a relationship? The truth revealed]

What does it mean if you’re not having the best sex?

You may not think much of your sex life if it’s less than fully satisfying, but it can really be a clue that something else is off. If you just can’t seem to get off during sex, here’s what might be really wrong in your sex life.

You may not be fully comfortable with your partner. Sex requires vulnerability, and if you are too shy or nervous around your partner, you might spend your time worrying about what they think of you rather than enjoying the intimacy.

And you also might not be connected to them emotionally as much as you should be. For some, it’s easy to have one-night stands without much emotional connection.

But in a relationship, your sex life thrives on building intimacy and connecting with your partner. If you’re lacking emotional connection, you can count on your sex not being great.

You could also be too stressed about getting off, which can prevent you from having a good time. If you’re forcing yourself to achieve orgasm, you’re killing any chance of actually achieving it.

After all, your brain is your biggest sex organ. Relax a bit, focus on your partner and what feels good, and let the sex guide you. [Read: Beautiful sex – 17 blissful ways to connect sexually in no time]

Without a great sex life, a lot can go wrong in a relationship

We all know by now that sex isn’t the most important part of a relationship. Having a deeper connection and understanding of one another is. However, sex can do a lot to help with that… As long as it’s good sex.

When you get intimate with your partner, you’re bonding. You’re opening all sorts of doorways to communication and affection that are needed in order for a relationship to be healthy and function happily. But when that sex is bad – those doors get shut – but never locked. [Read: Reasons you should have great sex every single day]

How to have the best sex ever

Your best sex is still ahead of you, don’t worry. Sometimes we have to go through tough times in order to get to the good stuff. It takes time, dedication, and the right tips in order to really have the best sex ever.

Here’s what you need in order to take your sex life up a notch and have that incredible. It may be a lot simpler than you thought, but it might be a little harder than you think, too. Make sure to try it all!

1. Work on emotionally connecting first

The thing that makes sex great isn’t always the sex itself. More often than not, it’s about the person you’re having it with. To invest in your sex, invest in the person who you’re having sex with.

By emotionally connecting with them, communication flows easier and your bond will become closer, making it all the more fun to please and be pleased by them. [Read: Emotional connection – 38 signs, secrets, and ways to build a real bond]

2. Talk about why it’s not working

In order to have better sex, you really have to pinpoint why it sucks in the first place. Is your partner not doing what you need? Are you not telling them what you really want?

Getting down to the bottom of the issue is always the first place to start. To move on and have the best sex ever, knowing the reason it’s not great, to begin with, is super important. [Read: Big problems in relationships and how to fix them]

3. Discuss how to fix it

Have a long discussion about what is needed in order to improve your sex life. Are you having enough sex? Do you need more foreplay beforehand? Is there a certain position or kink you’d like to try? Something you’d like to avoid?

Go back and forth communicating your needs and how you and your partner can achieve them together. Neither of you are mind-readers, so discussing your sex life is the only way to let your partner know how you’re feeling.

4. Work on one thing at a time

Instead of just going right into sex, work on pleasing each other with one thing at a time first. Master certain skills you know they like so you can compile all of them during sex.

If your woman loves oral but you haven’t had much success getting her off yet, focus on perfecting that so you know how to get her off every single time. And ladies, know what your man needs and really work on that specifically before jumping into sex again.

5. Relax

This is honestly one of the biggest problems people have when having sex. If you’re not relaxed because you’re overwhelmed with stress, the sex is going to reflect that.

Your body can’t fully be pleasured if you’re tense, emotionally or physically. [Read: Mind-blowing sex – easy ways to go from boring to oh-hot-damn!]

Make sure you’re not too stressed going into sex and stop worrying all the time. When your mind is clear, you’re able to truly feel the good sensations from sex, making a tremendous impact on your sex life.

6. Communicate before sex

When sex becomes routine, we lose interest. So, discuss with your partner what you want out of sex before you get into it.

Tell them whether you’re feeling extra kinky or very romantic. Maybe you want to introduce a new toy or position to the night. Knowing what you want beforehand can help you both better prepare for it. [Read: 42 secrets to communicate better in a relationship and ways to fix a lack of it]

7. Communicate during sex 

Even while you’re going at it, you have to be talking about what you want and what’s not working. This can even be done in a really sexy way so you don’t disturb the mood. 

So don’t be afraid to get vocal! Let your partner know what feels good and what you love that they do. This is a good way to guide them to pleasure you more.

Dirty talking is a wonderful tool that can be used to get what you both want while turning each other on.

8. Be open to their fantasies

Fantasies offer a lot of sexual pleasure if you’re both willing to work on them. The main thing to remember is to be open to your partner’s fantasies as much as they’re open to yours.

When you’re willing to do something like that for them, they’ll repay and the sex will be amazing. [Read: Arousing sex fantasies to try in real life]

9. Explore your own fantasies

You have something you want to do that you’ve never tried before, don’t be shy about it! Find out what it is and then talk to your partner about it. 

Be open and see if it’s something they’d like to try. You never know what might end up being the one thing that makes sex incredible for you every time.

10. Have sex often

You know what they say, practice makes perfect! That’s also true for sex. If you’ve had sex only a handful of times and aren’t enthusiastic about it, don’t give up too soon.

The more of it you have, the better it’ll get. You’ll learn just what you need to do to make it feel great, and you’ll both get into a rhythm together. [Read: How to talk dirty to a guy and really turn him on]

11. Be active outside of the bedroom

This means staying physically fit. When you exercise more, it’s actually easier for you to get off in the bedroom. This is mainly because exercising reduces your stress levels, and also increases your sex drive.

12. Use toys and props

Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed that you want some toys involved during your sex session. Using toys is very common, so there is no need to be embarrassed. They can only add more pleasure!

So, bring some to the bedroom and learn how to use them in a way that you both enjoy. There are hundreds to choose from, solo toys and couples toys. You’re bound to find something you’ll love! [Read: 15 common types of sex toys all singles and couples must know about]

And don’t forget about props! You know, handcuffs, blindfolds, and don’t forget the whipped cream! All of these can add extra elements to your sex life, and that excitement makes the sex all the better.

13. Foreplay is ESSENTIAL

Foreplay is an essential part of sex that is unfortunately overlooked too often. It’s what leads up to the main event, what gets you tingly and excited for sex! Never, ever, EVER, skip foreplay.

So unless all you want is to whip out a quickie knowing full well that it won’t completely satisfy you, always do foreplay.

14. Take it out of the bedroom

Having sex in the same place every time can make it rather boring. If you’re in need of spicing things up, then take it to the couch, the living room floor, or even the kitchen counter. A change of scenery can change everything.

15. Try new positions

If you’re not already having incredible sex, obviously the positions you’re doing aren’t hitting the right spots. So change it up! [Read: Most common sex positions & sexy ways to spice them up to expert level]

When you change positions, you’re enhancing stimulation in different parts of your body. Some positions are made for deeper penetration, others are made for lighter penetration.

Try positions you’ve never done *or rarely do* and see if they make things a bit better.

16. Be vocal

Hearing how much someone is pleased makes things way hotter for you and them. So, don’t be quiet unless you have to!

Speak up and use some dirty talk. Who knows, the sound of your own voice may even get you off in a way you never have before.

17. Build tension

Tension in sex is your best friend. This can even start very early in the day. Start building anticipation and tension for sex right away in the morning for later that day.

You can even give your significant other a little preview as to what they’ll get later that day. Having this tension will make it nearly impossible to focus on anything else all day, and you’ll come home to great sex. [Read: Naughty sex games for couples to feel really, really horny]

18. Take your time

The key to having the best sex ever is to make it last. Make sure you’re pleasing each other, and slow it down.

Don’t rush to the finish line. Allowing each other to really feel the pleasures and take it all in is critical to having the best sex ever.

19. Set the right mood

You know what this means… Light some candles, turn the lights down to a flattering level, and turn on some of that slow-grinding music. 

Getting mentally in the mood to have sex is just as important as getting your body ready. So, make sure you prepare. [Read: 20 naughty things you can do to get your woman in the mood for sex]

20. Stop worrying

Worrying about anything will ruin sex for you. Don’t be so concerned about getting off, that your partner is having a good time, or if you paid your bills on time. Keep your mind present during sex.

Shove all of that out of your mind and clear it of everything but your significant other and how they feel against you. [Read: The top 50 kinkiest ideas that will assure you a wild and sexy relationship]

21. Masturbate a lot more

If you have a difficult time getting off during sex with your partner, spend time getting off by yourself.

A huge benefit to masturbation is learning how you like to be touched and what kind of moves turn you on the most. Plus, the more you masturbate, the higher your libido. Wanting sex a LOT will make it much better!

22. Give as much as you take 

Don’t think you can have amazing sex all the time if you’re not willing to give your partner the best sex of their life.

The more you give, the more you receive. And if that’s not equal, your sex life will be bad. [Read: 18 sexy ways to be incredibly good in bed & leave anyone wanting more]

23. Repeat the stuff you like the most

If there’s something you know you love that gets you off, then do it more often! There’s no reason to change something when it’s good. 

As long as your partner feels the same way, stick with it, even if you’re trying new things when you start.

24. Have a good time

Sex shouldn’t be an obligation. It should be something that you have fun with and that you really want to do. So don’t forget to have some fun with it!

If you just let yourself have fun and make enjoying it the main focus, instead of just getting off, you’ll find that finishing is much easier.

25. Do Kegel exercises

Kegel exercises help strengthen your pelvic floor muscles which support organs in your pelvis such as your bladder, bowel, and vagina. These muscles hold your organs in place while assisting with other bodily functions. 

Kegels involve tightening and then releasing the muscles in your pelvic floor to strengthen them. They can also improve your sexual health and improve your orgasms. Both men and women can benefit from these exercises.

26. Give your partner a confidence boost

A lot of people are self-conscious about their bodies. And when they are, it makes it difficult for them to relax and enjoy sex because they might not want their partner to see them fully naked. 

So, give your partner a lot of compliments. Tell them how much you love their body and how sexy you think they are!

You should always be reassuring them of just how much you love them. When you do, you’ll notice both of you grow in confidence and your sex life improve!

27. Have an orgasm before penetration

While this suggestion is more for the ladies, guys can do it too if they feel like it.

But the point is that many women don’t orgasm during penetrative sex alone. Instead, they need a lot of clitoral stimulation to reach their high.

So, in order to have better sex, both of you should reach orgasm. And if the woman needs to accomplish this before penetrative sex, then the man should make sure that he helps get her there before he finishes. [Read: Amazing types of female orgasms all girls can experience in bed]

28. Dress up!

Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean that you should get lazy with how you look. In fact, that’s when you should try harder because, after the honeymoon phase, sexual desire dwindles a little.

So, don’t just dress up outside the bedroom for date night, you can also dress up inside the bedroom too.

Get some sexy lingerie, or do some role-playing with some costumes. It’s time to get creative and keep your partner turned on!

29. Consider scheduling intimate time together

While scheduling sex might not sound like the sexiest thing to do, sometimes it’s necessary. Most people live very busy lives. Between work, kids, and other obligations, sometimes sex is forgotten about.

So, schedule time to get intimate together. It can be a certain day of the week or just schedule it on date nights.

Regardless of how you handle it, remember that the point is to make sex on the top of your priority list – not at the bottom.

[Read: Happy sex life – what a good sex life should look like in real life]

Knowing how to have the best sex of your life has more to do with maintaining a strong, open channel of communication and feeling comfortable with yourself. These tips can help you reach a sex life worthy of being envied.

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...