There’s no running away from the fact, no escaping the truth of it – sex is a very important part of life. Sure, there will be those who are calling me shallow right now, and that dealing with things like world poverty, animal cruelty and debilitating illnesses are important parts of life, not the simple physical act of achieving sexual release.
To these people I say… How comfortable would you be being operated upon by a male surgeon who hasn’t had sex for six months?
Sex is important. It helps us deal with the rest of life – it relieves stress, helps us build stronger relationships with our partners and, let’s face it, it’s damn good fun. But what if your libido is suffering? What if there’s no lead in the pencil any more, no inclination?
What if, rather than a night of passion with the hunk or fox of your dreams, you’d prefer to watch the latest soaps with a mug of cocoa in one hand and the remote control in the other? If any of these scenarios are the case, then maybe it’s time you thought about ramping up your sex drive.
Is there a cure for a lowered sex drive?
The issue on the human sex drive is not a new one, and written evidence of this fact can be found dating back to time immemorial. Ancient tomes are filled with suggestions on how to concoct the most effective aphrodisiacs, and this is the case worldwide – from Britain to Japan, from Russia to Peru.
However, the problem does seem to have accelerated somewhat in the modern day, probably due to the increased societal pressures that we place ourselves under. It is interesting to note that there is even a term for this phenomenon, known as DINS syndrome, meaning Dual Income No Sex.
How you can increase your sex drive
There are some simple steps that can be taken to inject a little fuel back in the carnal fire, to stimulate the sexual appetite, so to speak, and these are as follow:
#1 Exercise. This is definitely one of the biggies. If your body isn’t physically responding properly, then there will undoubtedly be a knock-on effect upon your love life. Blood pressure, for instance, caused by general unfitness can be one of the greatest causes of a loss of libido in both genders, but especially men who may have difficulty in achieving erection as a result.
Exercise also increases stamina, and makes you both able to carry on for longer in the bedroom, without any extra effort. Trying to overcome a desperate shortness of breath mid-act isn’t going to do anything for either party’s sexual inclinations. [Read: 25 motivational tips to get you to work out]
#2 Diet. Along with exercise, poor diet is also a main cause of low libido. Heavy, fatty and low nutrition foods do nothing for your sex drive, and can even have the unwanted effect of reducing it. On the other hand, a high nutrition diet puts the pep back in your pepper-pot as well as improving general health.
There are even foods that seem to have specific sex drive-boosting properties, known as aphrodisiacs. Many of these have been proved to be nonsense, such as the ancient south-east Asian belief in drinking snake bile. But others seem to have a certain amount of scientific support for their claims, such as chocolate, cinnamon and pumpkin. Interestingly, cinnamon and fruits of any kind have the added bonus of sweetening a man’s ejaculate, which may well encourage their partner to get a little more… involved.
#3 Pornography and erotic literature. Doesn’t work for everyone, although I challenge you to find a man who doesn’t respond to pornography! But anyone who worked in an office during the “Fifty Shades of Grey” boom would have been as astounded as I to see half its female population, after just one reading, abruptly transform from dowdy corporate clone to rampant nymphomaniac.
Men instigate their sex drives through visual means, women from their minds. Whether video or book, give yourself a little bit of eroticism time to rekindle the fire. If the hardcore stuff isn’t your cup of tea, sites like X-Art might be of interest to you.
#4 Alcohol. A little is great. It breaks down inhibitions, opens the conversation, and allows lovemaking to be a little more courageous than it otherwise might be. However, large amounts of alcohol have an extraordinarily prohibitive effect upon sexual drive and prowess. This chiefly affects men, but it can work its anti-magic on women, particularly if it has the effect of making her tired and unwilling to do anything else in the bedroom but sleep.
#5 Meditation. Meditation, or a meditative activity such as yoga or tai chi, plays a number of functions that help boost libido. Firstly, it is a very healthy and sustainable form of gentle exercise. Secondly, it reduces those high levels of stress, which are amongst the most serious enemies of sexual energy. Thirdly, and this depends very much on personal outlook as to whether you believe in such things or not, the tradition behind such activities also claims a certain spiritual element to the benefits acquired.
#6 Sleep. Getting a good night’s sleep is vital in maintaining a healthy level of libido. It assists all other areas of personal health, keeps you sharp and hungry for physical contact and, most importantly, ensures that you don’t end up falling asleep mid-act – because somehow I don’t think your partner would thank you for that, would they?
#7 Self confidence. This is also huge. If your self-confidence is low, you’re never going to be comfortable in the bedroom. The trick is to identify and tackle the origin of this lack of confidence. If it’s due to body shape, then hit the gym and turn yourself into an Adonis or Aphrodite. If it’s because of appearance, then give yourself a makeover and reinvent yourself. If it’s because of someone at work belittling you, then get advice on tackling the problem head on and putting it to bed. Whatever the issue, do something about it. [Read: 8 steps to get your body confidence back]
#8 Be more adventurous. It could be the case that boredom and routine have affected your sex drive. If you have a regular slot on a Tuesday evening, between 11 and 12, when you and your partner regularly commit to a quick shuffle in the missionary position, then shake things up a bit.
Try having sex on the spur of the moment, anywhere and anytime. Change rooms. Try different sexual positions and introducing sex toys to your fun and games. Try introducing a third person, if you think that will work. [Read: 10 naughty sex games to get you riled up]
#9 Reduce stress. Stress can come from any source, and it is one of libido’s primary enemies. It could come from family and/or friends. It could come from changes in lifestyle. However, the most common source of stress is work. This is chiefly because the character of a person’s typical working life has changed so drastically over the years.
We aren’t necessarily working longer hours, but we do travel further in search of work, meaning that travel commonly adds as much as three or four hours to most people’s working days. We aren’t necessarily working harder, but the complexity and ineffectual nature of modern labor management systems means that we are struggling to get the job done in a proper and timely manner, which is very frustrating. If stress levels are significant enough to affect your sex life, you can bet it is affecting other areas of life too and you need to kill it before it kills you. [Read: 14 quick stress busters to recharge your mind]
#10 Talk dirty to each other. This doesn’t work for a lot of people who might feel a little silly rather than sexy, but for many, it turns a quick cross-jostle into a rampant sex-fest. Try describing various filthy fantasies that you might be imagining as you make love, get your partner to join in, and just observe how the passion escalates. [Read: 23 dirty talk tips to turn you both on]
Low sex drive doesn’t have to be an incurable issue. Try some of the advice above and enjoy your new stature as a profuse and vigorous lover.
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