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How to Spice Up a Relationship: 30 Sexy Ways to Feel Loved & Horny

Every relationship needs a boost occasionally. If you need to learn how to spice up a relationship, it’s easier than you think – just think outside the box!

how to spice up a relationship

From time to time, it’s completely normal to notice that your sex life has become a little, well, boring. Life just gets in the way! But, understanding how important it is to work at your relationship in general means that you’ll soon be back on the right path. Learning how to spice up a relationship might sound hard, but it’s actually just down to effort above everything else.

It is important to make sure that you work at your sex life. Of course, no one expects you to want to keep up the three times a day routine. But if you feel like you stopped giving each other as much attention in the bedroom department, perhaps now is the time to start looking at how you can inject some spice *and fun* back into your sex life. You just need to start appreciating one another again.

[Read: How to spice up the bedroom – 22 tips to set the bed on fire]

For many, once past the honeymoon period, it can be easy to see your sex life fall into decline. There is nothing wrong with this per se. We are not as young as we used to be, and the can’t-wait-to-get-you-into-bed-must-rip-your-clothes-off-right-this-second attitude is a pretty exhausting one to maintain for years to come.

Let’s face it, we all have nights where a good book and a cup of peppermint tea are far more appealing than a saucy romp under the covers. [Read: How to spice up missionary sex]

Why do relationships turn a little boring sometimes?

It’s not the actual bond between you that’s boring, it’s the fact that you’ve allowed routine to creep in. It’s something everyone does occasionally. Stress, work, children, family, illness, money worries, these are all things which pop up occasionally and cause our attention to drift elsewhere.

When you feel tired and a little run down, stressed out, or simply that you can’t concentrate, relationships *especially sex* often start to change. The good news is that the chance isn’t irreversible.

As we mentioned before, it’s not possible to keep the honeymoon phase up for long. But, if you allow your relationship, including your sex life, to drift down your list of priorities, it will be harder to drag it back up. [Read: How to spice up your marriage without using sexual tools]

Spicing up a relationship isn’t just about sex

When we think of spicing up a relationship, we assume it’s just about bringing the libido back in love. But it takes more than just sex to spice up a relationship – intimacy, trust, romance, companionship, love, communication and so much more as well. If you truly want to have a relationship that’s thriving, both sexually and romantically, it’s important that you focus on all aspects of love.

But on the other hand, if you think you have a perfect relationship already, and are looking specifically for ways to spice up your sex life, read this feature on the 30 sexiest ways to spice up your sex life and go from boring to OMFG in bed for the naughtiest and wildest sexual tips to transform your sex life.

And if you want to improve your relationship in all aspects, read on, because we have every single thing you’ll need to spice up your relationship and make it way better in every way!

[Read: Top 50 kinky sex ideas worth trying at least once in your lifetime for a horny boost]

How to spice up a relationship and stay loved up and horny

Of course, all relationships are different, and there is no fool-proof answer when it comes to keeping that sexy spark alive. The excitement, mystery, and downright horniness of your initial relationship will all heighten your attraction to someone.

There is still no reason why your sex life should become stale, even if it feels like you’ve been with your partner forever.

So, with this in mind, check out these tips for how to spice up a relationship once more.

1. Schedule in a date night

Making time for each other can be hard when you are juggling jobs, hobbies, social lives, and so on. But it is so important to set aside time to invest in your relationship.

Planning a romantic date night once a week means you are sure to get some action at the end! [Read: 13 naughty date night ideas to add some sizzle to your nights]

2. How to spice up a relationship? Go on a break together

This could be a sun and sand-filled two-week vacation, or just an overnight stay at a local hotel.

Whatever you’ve got the time and money for, getting out of your routine and going away together can make things feel fresh and new once more. [Read: Is it too soon to start traveling with your partner?]

3. Take up a hobby together

If you can share your passions outside of the bedroom, chances are you’ll share your passions in it too!

Finding something you both love to do together can remind you how much fun you have, and why you chose each other in the first place.

4. Be surprising

Planning a fun surprise for your partner is sure to go down well when you’re trying to figure how to spice up a relationship. It shows them how much you care, which will bring you closer together too! [Read: 13 naughty date night ideas to add a sexy sizzle to love]

5. Do you need a little space?

If you are the kind of couple that is all over one another all of the time, perhaps what you really need is a little space. If you’ve got no time to miss each other, no room to breathe, you are more likely to feel sick of the sight of one another rather than want to tear each other’s clothes off.

Find something to do that regularly gets you out of the house separately, or go on a holiday with friends. Being away from each other will make you miss each other more.

6. Talk to one another when learning how to spice up a relationship

Communication is the key to a successful relationship, so make sure you always communicate openly with your partner.

If you feel neglected, let them know. But, be sure to do it in a way that doesn’t sound accusing or like you are placing blame. [Read: How to talk about sex without sounding like a pervert]

7. Make a future plan

Discussing the future together will make you realize how committed you are to one another. Future plans can be so exciting and make you feel giddy and happy for all that’s to come. That’s one way to learn how to spice up a relationship.

8. Have a fight … and then make up

Having a passionate row that ends with passionate sex can be just the ticket when it comes to remembering why you are so compatible under the covers. But, that doesn’t mean you should pick a fight for the sake of it!

If you have one however, know that it’s an opportunity to spice things up once more. [Read: The art of make up sex – A guide to master the romp after the rage]

9. Get a couple’s massage

Doing something relaxing, romantic, and fun together can be the perfect prompt to spice up your relationship and make you feel like continuing on when you get home.

10. Get over your petty arguments

If you have the same silly arguments again and again, sit down and talk them through properly. Or just let them go. Sometimes it’s the little things that make you bicker. And they’re the ones that can get in the way of enjoying your relationship.

If you spent the evening fighting over whose turn it is to do the washing up, you’re not exactly likely to want to get down and dirty when you go to bed. [Read: How to have angry sex and drive each other wild with rage and horniness]

11. Reminisce about the past

Remembering what you used to be like when you were young and carefree as a couple can reignite those old passionate flames.

Take a trip down memory lane, go back to where you had your first date, or look at old pictures of times you enjoyed together. See where it takes you. [Read: How to talk dirty during sex and ease into it without awkwardness]

12. Experimenting with sex toys is one of the best ways to learn how to spice up a relatonship

If you feel like when you do have sex, it is just the same tired old routine, then why not go to a sex shop together and see if you can find some little treats to give you both extra pleasure?

Sex toys are one of the best ways to learn how to spice up a relationship between the sheets. [Read: Naughty first-timer? 13 sex toys that are a must]

13. See a sex therapist

Sometimes we all need a helping hand, and there is nothing wrong with admitting that we do. Talking to an impartial third party about your relationship can really help air out any concerns and will help you understand your partner better too.

14. Write a romantic letter to one another

It is easy to forget to tell the person we love just how much we do and why.

So why not write a letter telling your partner what is so great about them. Get them to do the same for you too! [Read: 10 most important tips to write an amazing love letter]

15. Be each other’s cheerleader

If you support your partner and cheer them on in life, they will do the same for you. Being supportive is so important and sometimes it is easy to forget to do so!

16. How to spice up a relationship? Take a steamy bath or shower together

If you want a more direct approach, nothing beats getting naked and soapy in the bathtub! [Read: How to have sex in the shower and really enjoy it]

17. Cook for one another

Take it in turns to cook one another a romantic meal, or better still, cook a meal together, open a bottle of wine, and just enjoy your time together.

18. Have a TV and phone ban

It’s all too easy to spend hours staring mindlessly at the TV set or your phone. At least once a week, have a TV and phone ban and use the evening to actually talk to one another! [Read: 10 very sexy conversation topics that’ll make both of you horny in minutes]

19. Flirt with each other

When you have been going out with someone for ages, sometimes you can forget how to flirt.

It might take you a while to get back into the swing of things, but flirting is sexy, fun and so good for romance, especially if you want to spice up your relationship ASAP. [Read: How to flirt with your boyfriend – 20 ways to keep it sweet and sexy]

20. Do something challenging together

Whether it is something you are scared of, or something that physically tests you, doing something challenging together can bring you closer together.

21. Get into character

You don’t have to be a Hollywood actor to play a character. Naughty maid? Sexy nurse?

If you want to know how to spice up a relationship, throw on a wig and pretend to be someone completely different. It’s fun. Be whoever you want! [Read: The sexual role play guide for beginners]

22. Send a naughty text or photo

If you know they’re in a boring business meeting, sending a sexy text saying, “I’m touching myself and thinking about you” or “I want you inside me” will certainly make their meeting more interesting.

You don’t have to send them a fully nude picture to turn them on. Your lips, legs, stomach—any little piece of you that you know gets them excited. [Read: How to take good nudes – 36 tips for the sexiest selfies ever]

23. Express your desires

A huge issue between partners is that they don’t know what the other person wants. If you feel the sex is getting dull, talk about what you want to try. They’re probably feeling the same and aren’t sure where to start!

Ask them what they want, what they desire, and then go from there. [Read: How to talk dirty in bed – Dirty talk examples and fantasies to get you started]

24. Stroke their ego

There is nothing wrong with complimenting your partner if you want to know how to spice up a relationship. Tell them they’re hot. Tell them they make you wet. Make them feel like they’re the best thing that has happened to you because most likely it’s true.

Everybody wants to feel needed and loved.

25. Take time for yourself too

Many people invest a lot of time in work, family, friends. This is all fine and great; however, you won’t be able to give your partner your all, if you don’t put yourself first.

Make sure you’re doing things for yourself. This makes you happy and confident. It will show in your relationship. [Read: How to take care of yourself emotionally and avoid falling apart]

26. Have sex outside of the bedroom

Have sex everywhere. In the car, in the bathroom, at the movie theaters, at a hotel. Do it everywhere! Public sex is risky, naughty, and exhilarating. It will certainly bring a spark back! [Read: 15 riskiest places to have sex and get your adrenalin racing]

27. Don’t be afraid of PDA

Just because you’re in public doesn’t mean that you can’t act like a couple.

Now, you don’t have to dry hump each other on a park bench, but don’t be afraid to run your hands through your partner’s hair or kiss them on the lips without feeling shame. It’s your relationship, not anyone else’s. [Read: What is PDA in a relationship? The full guide every couple must know]

28. Add in a new sex position

After having sex with the same person for a while, you start to develop a pattern.

Introduce a new sexual position every month. It could succeed or fail, but that’s not the point. Trying new things with your partner will show you how to spice up a relationship.

29. Squeeze in a quickie

Who doesn’t love a good quickie? Maybe your partner will be in their office at lunch. Surprise them and have a quickie on their desk. While you’re getting ready for work in the morning, have a quickie before you head out the door. [Read: 15 sexy ways to have the best quickie every time]

30. Try dirty talk

Sometimes, all it can take to spice up a relationship is something a little daring. Have you tried dirty talk yet? You might cringe at first, but once you get into it, it’s super-sexy! [Read: How to talk dirty and turn on your lover with your fantasy and words]

Learning how to spice up a relationship is literally just about doing different things. Routine is boring. If you do the same things all the time, you’re certainly going to get bored. But, if you throw a few curveballs in there occasionally, everything will feel fresh and new once more.

[Read: 15 reasons why couples get bored with their relationship]

These tips for how to spice up a relationship are great if you hope to reignite the flame in your relationship. So, if you feel as though your relationship could do with a boost, why not give these a go?

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...