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Why the 69 Position Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up to Be

Is 69ing on your sexual buffet table? Sure, it can be hot, but it can also be kind of boring. We’re looking at reasons why 69ing ain’t that fun.

why the 69 position isn't all fun

There’s something notoriously taboo and sexy about the 69 position. The man’s penis is in her mouth, all while she’s being licked and played with. Meanwhile, a mutual mountain of moans escalates, adding to the mood. However, there is also something dull and teenage about the act.

The 69 position can be achieved by getting on top of your partner with your genitals facing their mouth and going to town from there. You can have girl on top, guy on top, or you can spice it up and lay on your sides. [Read: 11 ways for guys to be better in bed]

Some couples love it, while others have taken it completely off their to-do list. This isn’t to say that there’s nothing redeemable about the 69 position. Partners aren’t rolling their eyes every time their lover suggests the compromising position. However, some aren’t jumping for joy either. This position can be awkward physically for both parties involved, not to mention a total nightmare to those who feel self-conscious about their bodies.

Why the 69 position can kind of suck

Here’s to looking at 7 reasons why this position may not be as fun as you think it is.

#1 Lots of butts. Not to be juvenile, but there’s nothing sexy about having a man’s anus within a foot of your face. While the spread eagle view may be a little interesting the first few times, you may opt to simply look away if you continue doing man on top in the 69 position.

The same goes for the woman on top while 69ing, however less men seem to have a problem with this. All the same, having someone’s butt near your mouth while you’re trying to focus on orgasming is not entirely alluring… Especially if one of you happens to pass gas while on top, yikes!

#2 There’s no focus. No matter which gender you play in the role of 69ing, it’s definitely hard to pay attention to what you’re doing when you’re receiving a little slice of happiness between your legs.

While men may not need all the stimulation in the world to get their rocks off, most women need some level of concentration. You know what you can’t do while bobbing your head up and down, using your one hand on his shaft and holding yourself up with the other? Concentrate. As wonderful as oral sex feels for a woman, she may find this is the last thing she’s thinking of while she’s performing on her man. [Read: 3 sexy and easy ways to get what you want in bed]

#3 Awkward angles and suffocating boyfriends. For men, laying down and trying to hit the angle of his girlfriend’s sweet spots can get a little awkward. Performing while laying down can get messy, and not to mention strain his neck. What’s more, having a girl sit on your face can sometimes make it a little hard to breathe depending on how aggressive she gets.

#4 She can’t blow him properly. Alright you can, it just sucks – no pun intended. You’re using your hand and your mouth on him at the same time, like the blowjob artist that you are, all while balancing your vagina on his mouth and holding up your own body weight with one hand. This is not only extremely uncomfortable and tiring, but you may also find yourself unable to give him the attention he deserves, when you start to focus too much on your own pleasure.

This is ten times worse when he is on top in the 69 equation and you’re struggling to push your head into the mattress just to get some space to get his penis in and out of your mouth. This is especially true if your partner is well-endowed. [Read: 9 hot blowjob secrets to drive him wild]

#5 You’re not teenagers in a rush. Unless you’re having a fantastic quickie before work, sex should never be about rushing to the finish line. Heading into the 69 position, with the emphasis on finishing that way, can kind of be a yawn.

As good as it feels, it would feel 10 times better if you were to perform separately on one another. Part of the magic of oral is that your partner is giving you attention, completely focused on giving you pleasure. Why not lay each other down and do a fantastic job, instead of rushing to do it at the same time and only giving your half-hearted efforts? [Read: 8 tips to give your girl the best oral sex of her life]

#6 Bad personal hygiene. This is true of any oral situation, but bad personal hygiene can ruin a perfectly good session of oral. Do your part to make oral sex more enjoyable and have a little wash-up beforehand, to make sure everything is looking, tasting, and smelling clean. This shows respect to your partner, and may make this position a little more enjoyable for the both of you.

#7 Bad sex position for height difference. If you and your partner have a lengthy difference in height, this position may be incredibly uncomfortable or equally impossible to perform on each other. The guy may be stretching his neck and his tongue, all for the purpose of trying to reach the woman’s clitoris. And the woman might find herself with too much of a mouthful with just one movement from the guy.

Don’t risk straining your neck. If you find this position too difficult to achieve, find yourself a different one.

No matter what you like, just make sure you have fun with it. If you’re uncomfortable in the 69 position, don’t simply write it off. Remember that your partner might love this position and the idea of the two of you sharing pleasure at the same time. Instead of simply saying you find the position boring, try being honest and tell your partner what you need from sex in order to be comfortable, and to be able to orgasm. [Read: 14 tips to get your partner to open up about sex]

Knowing your desires will enable your partner to tweak their performance to better suit your needs. If you still can’t find joy in the 69 positon, nix it from your sexual library. You should never perform an act that you’re not the least bit comfortable with.

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Waverly Smith

Waverly Smith is a freelance writer who has been getting paid for spreading her sarcastic take on love, life, and sex since 2010. She is many things that peo...

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