There’s something notoriously taboo and sexy about the 69 sex position. It results in a mutual mountain of moans escalating, adding to the mood. Some people love it, and some people don’t.
Haven’t added this to your sexual repertoire? Well before you dive in head first *pun intended*, let’s get you up to date with everything you need to know about this sex position. Then you can decide for yourself if this is a hit or a bust.
[Read: 30 day sex challenge – 30 sex positions for 30 days]
The 69 sex position can be achieved by getting on top of your partner with your genitals facing their mouth and your mouth lining up with their genitals. From there, you just go to town.
Obviously, this sex position is one that can be adopted by all couples. Gay, straight lesbian; as long as you have genitals, you can 69. It’s great for variation too—you can swap who’s on the top and bottom, or you can spice it up and lay on your sides.
Some couples love it, while others have taken it completely off their to-do list. This isn’t to say that there’s nothing redeemable about the 69 sex position.
But for those who have sworn off this position, it’s because 69ing can be awkward physically for both parties involved, not to mention a total nightmare for those who feel self-conscious about their bodies. [Read: Most common sex positions and sexy ways to spice them up to expert level]
While some people like the 69 position, there are some things that make it annoying. Here are just 8 reasons some people don’t like this position. Do you agree with any of them?
Not to be juvenile, but some people think that there’s nothing sexy about having a man’s anus within a foot of your face.
While the spread eagle view may be a little interesting the first few times, you may opt to simply look away if you continue doing man-on-top in the 69 sex position.
The same goes for the woman on top while 69ing, however, fewer men seem to have a problem with this. [Read: The dirty truth – is it possible to have an anal orgasm?]
All the same, having someone’s butt near your mouth while you’re trying to focus on orgasm is not entirely alluring… especially if one of you happens to pass gas while on top—yikes!
No matter which role you play in the 69ing, it’s definitely hard to pay attention to what you’re doing when you’re receiving a little slice of happiness between your legs.
While men may not need all the stimulation in the world to get their rocks off, most women need some level of concentration. [Read: 18 sexy ways to be incredibly good in bed and leave anyone wanting more]
You know what a straight woman can’t do while bobbing her head up and down, using one hand on his shaft and holding herself up with the other?
Concentrate. As wonderful as oral sex feels for a woman, she may find this is the last thing she’s thinking of while she’s performing on her man.
For men, laying down and trying to hit the angle of their girlfriend’s sweet spots can get a little awkward. Performing while laying down can get messy, not to mention strain his neck. [Read: Awkward signs you’re having bad sex with your lover]
What’s more, having a girl sit on your face can sometimes make it a little hard to breathe depending on how aggressive she gets.
Alright you can, it just sucks—no pun intended. You’re using your hand and your mouth on him at the same time, like the blowjob artist that you are, all while balancing your genitals on his mouth and holding up your own body weight with one hand.
This is not only extremely uncomfortable and tiring, but you may also find yourself unable to give him the attention he deserves when you start to focus too much on your own pleasure. [Read: 49 blowjob techniques, positions, and tips to give him good head and make him gasp!]
And this is ten times worse when he is on top in the 69 sex equation and you’re struggling to push your head into the mattress just to get some space to get his penis in and out of your mouth.
This is especially true if your partner is well-endowed.
Unless you’re having a fantastic quickie before work, sex should never be about rushing to the finish line. Heading into the 69 sex position, with the emphasis on finishing that way, can kind of be a yawn. [Read: How to eat a girl out – 81 oral sex tips to eat pussy and tongue her to bliss]
As good as it feels, it would feel 10 times better if you were to perform separately on one another. Part of the magic of oral is that your partner is giving you attention, completely focused on giving you pleasure.
Why not lay each other down and do a fantastic job, instead of rushing to do it at the same time and only giving your half-hearted efforts?
This is true of any oral situation, but bad personal hygiene can ruin a perfectly good session of oral. [Read: How to prepare for sex – 20 things you MUST do to enjoy it way more]
Do your part to make oral sex more enjoyable and have a little wash-up beforehand to make sure everything is looking, tasting, and smelling clean. This shows respect for your partner and may make this position a little more enjoyable for both of you.
If you and your partner have a lengthy difference in height, this position may be incredibly uncomfortable or equally impossible to perform on each other. Think about it. If a guy is 6’4” and the woman is 5’0”, that’s a 16-inch difference!
The man is going to have to be creative while trying to find a position that he can maintain and the woman is going to have to stretch as far as possible. And in the end, maybe even that won’t work. [Read: Slow blowjob – How to blow a guy in slow motion and leave him quivering]
With 69, whoever you’re doing it with, you either have to stretch your neck and tongue to reach your partner’s good bits, or you have to endure a mouthful too much when your partner gets too into it.
Don’t risk straining your neck. If you find this position too difficult to achieve, find yourself a different one. It’s not worth having perpetual neck aches.
Now that you know why the 69 sex position can kind of suck, how do you make it better? Here are some things that you can try. [Read: 34 hand job tips, secrets, and positions, to give a hand job that drives him wild]
You want to just have fun with the 69 position. Try to stay relaxed and keep it sensual. You don’t have to be a sex machine and worry about impressing your partner. And it’s okay to laugh a little if things get awkward at times.
Just because you have each other’s genitals in your mouth doesn’t mean that you have to end there. There are plenty of other parts of the body to explore while you’re going at it. Not only can your hands pleasure other spots, but this will also help if you need a breather.
Focus on the touch and how it feels to be touched in certain ways. [Read: Sensual sex – What is it & why it’s the best kind of sex there is]
You will have a better understanding of what turns you both on, and that will lead to a better experience. Run your hands all over the parts of their body that you can reach in a sensual way.
It can be awkward for some men to give oral sex to women. So, regardless of what position you’re in or if you prop her up with pillows, you can always keep a vibrator close by.
This will give him a break once in a while and she will still have incredible pleasure in addition to his tongue. [Read: How to choose a vibrator – a girl’s guide to picking the one you need]
Try different things with your tongue—don’t get stuck in a rut. You might think your normal moves are just fine but don’t keep them consistent.
Go fast, then slow, and change your strokes, pressure, and suction. Just try to be unique every time you do it.
Some people have a difficult time producing enough saliva to lubricate their partner’s genitals. So, if you have been 69ing for a while, you might have a harder time keeping the area wet. [Read: 35 slippery good lube substitutes, how and when to use them, and ones to avoid]
Just try to keep some flavorful lube close by. This can continue the pleasure and reduce the irritation that is caused by friction on dry surfaces.
One way to make the experience even hotter is by wearing sexy clothes with easy access. Find ones that make you feel irresistible.
It doesn’t matter what it is, but clothing can add some sensuality to 69ing. And try to find something with an opening around your genitals. [Read: How to dress sexy – 29 subtle and classy ways to make them lust for you]
The motion of a sex swing can make the 69 sex position pleasurable for both people too. One person can lie in the swing and the other stands with their feet on the floor bending over.
This will provide different suction *softer and harder* depending on the motion. It’s great for people with a big height difference too.
This might sound a little crazy because you’re wondering how in the world that would ever work. [Read: Male G-spot – what it is and 28 positions, tips & secrets to find and stimulate it]
And while it’s a bit riskier, it can be done if you’re feeling adventurous. One person would have to be upside down and the other holding them in the air. But you can also lean them against a wall for extra back support.
If both of you are open to a threesome, then you can try this variation on the normal 69 sex position. In order to do it, each person needs to be angled off to create a triangle shape. This allows for both genital and anal stimulation at the same time.
You can get really creative with your 69 sex position. Don’t know how? Here’s a list of 69 variations that are really exciting. [Read: Blindfold tips – 18 sexy tips and positions to mute one sense and explore sex]
If you have a sex swing, then this is a fun one to try. One partner lays back in the swing, with the straps around their back, lower butt, and heels. [Read: 46 sizzling sex life secrets to spice up your bedroom and leave you horny 24/7]
The second partner, with their legs firmly planted on the floor, bends over. Typically, sex swing positions are more about vaginal and anal penetration, so this is a great way to include oral sex on a swing.
Instead of one partner being on top of the other one, both participants are lying on their sides. If you typically struggle to reach each other’s genitalia with the classic 69, then this variation will work for you.
It just makes it easier to reach everything. It also requires less work for those who are usually on top because it isn’t as strenuous. [Read: 48 sexy secrets to have better sex and explore new things to try in bed]
Grab your partner’s favorite sex toy to use on them, while you grab your favorite sex toy for them to use on you. Vibrators and penis strokers are great for this position.
Sometimes it can be just as fun to use toys while doing the 69 sex position—it doesn’t have to be all about your mouths. Using toys is less physical work, so you can focus more on your own sensations.
For this position, instead of having your partner lie on top of you, have them squat over you. This is a bit more strenuous, so you will have to be in pretty good shape. [Read: How to have spiritual sex and experience sexual pleasure beyond orgasms]
It requires your lower back, glutes, and quad strength and flexibility. But it’s a fun variation on the classic version, and you can also slap each other’s asses too!
Instead of actually lying on a flat surface, you have to actually hold your partner upside-down while you’re standing. Obviously, this isn’t for everyone because it can be a bit intense for both partners.
If you can make this work, then you deserve a trophy! But a lot of people can’t do this, and it only works well if one of you is very petite. Just remember to be safe so no injuries occur. [Read: 28 sex moves to surprise your boyfriend in bed and make him happy-horny]
In addition to orally stimulating your partner, use either your fingers or a sex toy to penetrate them.
One of the good things about this position is that it incorporates internal stimulation, not just external. This makes the pleasure extra intense.
If you want, you can just eat out your partner’s booty exclusively. It can be used as a form of foreplay to loosen up and warm up before the couple has penetrative anal sex. [Read: Analingus – a walkthrough and total guide to eating ass like a champ]
If anal play is your thing, then you’ll love this position.
If you are both interested in bringing in a third partner, then you can try the threesome 69. While lying on your side with your partners, form a triangle.
Then, each partner performs oral on the next person. So, you’ll perform oral on one and receive from another. [Read: 57 rules to have a threesome and the best three-way tips and positions]
If you’re both sexually adventurous and don’t mind another person joining you, then you can give this one a try.
Of course, physical comfort is important for any sex act, and the 69 position is no different.
The most comfortable way you can do it is for both of you to lie on your side. [Read: Sexual compatibility – 47 signs to tell if you’re incompatible and ways to fix it]
That way, you don’t have to worry about muscle strain or arms and legs being where they should be. Plus, you can use each other’s thighs as a pillow to keep neck pain to a minimum.
If the two of you have a big height difference, the taller person can form their body into a “C” shape to accommodate their partner’s body. Using a sex pillow can also take the weight off of your body and be more pleasurable. [Read: 20 Sizzling sex tips and positions for couples with a height difference]
But in reality, you should just experiment with different things, types, and positions until you and your partner find the 69 is comfortable for both of you.
No matter what you like, just make sure you have fun with it. If you’re uncomfortable in the 69 sex position, don’t simply write it off. [Read: 46 expert-level tips and secrets to be a better lover and feel amazing in bed]
Remember that your partner might love this position and the idea of the two of you sharing pleasure at the same time. And also remember that sex isn’t all about you—it’s about what you both want.
Instead of simply saying you find the position boring, try being honest and tell your partner what you need from sex in order to be comfortable, and to be able to orgasm.
[Read: How to open up about sex and get your partner to share their desires]
Knowing your desires will enable your partner to tweak their performance to better suit your needs. If you still can’t find joy in the 69 sex position, nix it from your sexual library. You should never perform an act that you’re not the least bit comfortable with.
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