Have you ever accidentally caught sight of someone undressing?
Did you like it?
If you’re one who spends a good part of your private hours peeping at people or trying to catch someone in their undies, you’re probably a voyeur.
At times, it’s easy to catch a glimpse of someone in their bare minimum by accident.
And it’s definitely a thrill. I mean, if you accidentally see an attractive someone in the nude when you least expect it, it’s surely boastworthy.
But there’s a big red line between accidentally seeing someone in their weak moment, and intentionally building a scenario to see someone naked.
[Read: 12 devious ways to see a friend in the nude accidentally]
What is voyeurism?
Voyeurism is a keen interest or fetish/perversion or an addiction where a person derives sexual pleasure out of witnessing someone undressing or indulging in a sexual act.
Voyeurism is against the law.
Think about it, invading someone else’s privacy without their approval to see them naked or having sex is not something that will ever be acceptable.
Sometimes, your curiosity may get the better of you, and you may want to take a quick peek at a friend undressing or a neighbor stepping into the shower. But it’s not a hobby you can ever be proud of in public. [Read: Real life public flashing sexual confessions]
Voyeurism and the male obsession
Voyeurism is more of a male obsession than a female interest. Men are extremely curious when it comes to female anatomy. A woman may never understand this sexual fetish of men and their uncontrollable urge to take a sneak peek at a woman in her bare minimum if they can get away with it. Hey, I don’t think men understand their fascination to peep at women too.
But truth be told, all of us, men and women, have a little bit of a voyeur in us. If you see an attractive girl with heaving bosoms bending low in front of you, you can’t help but take a quick peek out of curiosity. We may not stare at a plumber’s butt crack with the same fascination, but when we find something appreciative, curiosity always gets the better of us, and we all want to see more.
The voyeuristic side in us all stays within control because human society has trained us to look at voyeurism as a perverse act. But if your friend was out of town for the weekend and you were taking care of her house, and found a homemade x-rated video of hers, wouldn’t you watch it *just for fun, of course*? [Read: Top 10 sexiest sexual fantasies for guys]
Why is voyeurism such a rush?
In one word. Curiosity. The human mind is extremely curious and wants to know everything. And especially a male mind, as bad as it sounds, can’t help wanting to take a peek now and then, be it at a down blouse or a skirt lifted in a gush of wind.
There’s a voyeur in all of us, but how far we go to see what we want to see makes all the difference between a person who’s addicted to voyeurism and a casual voyeur who peeks at something when the opportunity presents itself.
Being a casual voyeur may be fun if you’re living around neighbors who don’t care about drawing the curtains shut after dark. But at the same time, it’s not morally ethical to spend all day staring at your neighbor’s bathroom with a camera in your hand.
I don’t suggest you buy a telescope and pitch a tent outside your hot neighbor’s house. But is there something wrong in blissfully watching the stars from your own window, and *accidentally* glimpsing your hot neighbor kicking their trousers off and getting into the bathtub?
Voyeurism could be a lot more fun if you have a neighbor who intentionally strips down to give you a view because they’re exhibitionists. [Read: Sexy exhibitionism – How to get naked in public and have fun doing it]
There are a lot of people who enjoy being watched by someone in their nudie best. A neighbor may undress knowing you’re watching if they’re into the whole voyeurism and exhibitionism act.
The difference between exhibitionism and voyeurism
Simply put, voyeurism is the act of watching someone undressing. Exhibitionism is the act of undressing while being watched.
If you have a good physique and love walking around your place wearing sheer attire or a tiny towel wrapped around your body just so you can show off your hot body, you probably like the attention you get from being watched by others. And that makes you an exhibitionist.
In most cases, casual voyeurs are also casual exhibitionists. They’re physically attractive and like showing a bit of skin now and then, and they also enjoy watching another person in return just for the fun of it. And almost always, casual voyeurs may even make it obvious to the other person that they’re watching them. [Read: Top 10 sexual fantasies for girls]
But a person who’s addicted to voyeurism may not look at exhibitionism and voyeurism as a flirty pastime. If you enjoy peeping at someone without ever wanting to let them know about it, or you spend your time in dark corners peeping at someone undressing with no intention of ever letting the other person know you’re watching, you may have already crossed into the addictive dark side of voyeurism.
The dangers of being too sexually voyeuristic
Staring through a keyhole at a relative or a friend undressing may seem disturbing, but if you’re a curious person who just doesn’t like a bit of suspense in your life, your curiosity may force you to take a peek. But morally speaking, that’s just wrong.
But your voyeuristic side doesn’t make you a monster or a bad person *as long as you’re staring at someone who wants to be watched*. It just means you need to control your sexual urges. It’s alright to be curious, but try to put that to better use.
If you’re an obsessed voyeur who stares at people who aren’t interested in the voyeurism and exhibitionism game, you could definitely be put behind bars. If you must indulge in voyeurism, watch someone who wants to be watched. Period.
A person who gets addicted to voyeurism could spend a big part of their productive lives sitting behind heavily draped curtains peeping at the world go by. Your heart may race on adrenaline each time you see a flash of skin, but beyond a point, it can give you no other pleasure. It’s actually easier and faster to just watch porn.
And on a worst case scenario, a voyeur may start losing interest in sex and become more addicted to just sitting and staring.
7 ways to get more voyeuristic in your sex lives
If you fancy the act of voyeurism and want to keep it within control, here are 7 ways you can use more of your voyeuristic side in bed with your own lover. If you have a problem with voyeurism, talk to your partner so they can understand your sexual needs and fetishes better.
By opening up to your lover, your lover could help you experience the pleasure of voyeurism and exhibitionism in a controlled environment which could actually enhance your sexual relationship. [Read: 10 sexy ways to get over a sexual dry spell]
#1 Use mirrors. The next time you have sex, place a large mirror sideways parallel to your bed. You can get the mirror really close if you like. When you have sex with your own partner while watching the mirror, you’ll feel like you’re being watched by another couple and get to watch them at the same time.
#2 Role play. Pretend like you’re a stranger and role play with your own partner. Or ask your partner to undress in the next room while you peep at them through a keyhole or from another room or a crack in the window. As long as the idea excites you and your partner, try it. If it makes one of you uncomfortable, try something else. [Read: The complete guide to sexual role play for beginners]
#3 Go to a strip club together. If there’s a strip club nearby, go there together and watch a live show or get a lap dance. If you can’t do that, even going to a regular club full of skimpily dressed people can have the same effect.
#4 Get online on a webcam. Sites like Chatroulette and Omegle are perfect for a voyeur. Get online with your partner and watch other couples or singles. Almost always, you’ll have hundreds of people who are more than eager to flash at you!
#5 Go on a vacation. Nudist resorts or sex vacations are a great place to meet likeminded couples who enjoy the same activities as you do. If your partner likes the idea, take off for a couple of weeks to a resort where there are no compulsions to strip down and see if you like what you experience. [Read: 10 tips to have sexual fun on the beach]
#6 Videotape yourselves. If watching someone gives you a rush, videotape your partner or make a home video of both of you having sex *just make sure it doesn’t get into the wrong hands though* and play it while having sex.
#7 Watch another couple in bed. When you and your partner are spending a night over at another couple’s place, it’s easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment, especially when all of you are drunk. If you’re comfortable with the idea, get intimate with your partner when the other couple is around. [Read: 30 dirty truth or dare questions for couples to have a sexy night]
Voyeurism and your urges
If you accidentally walked into a friend undressing or glimpsed a peek at a hot neighbor while they’re walking in the nude around their house, well, retain the excitement for your shorts or make interesting gossip of it with your friends or your partner.
But avoid looking for a voyeuristic experience just to get your sexual high. It’s just wrong, unless the person you’re staring at knows you’re watching and likes being watched. Would you like it if someone videotaped you at your weakest moment? Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, and stay away from staring at someone when they don’t want to be stared.
Instead, use your own bedroom to satiate your voyeuristic side. But always remember this, if you can’t function without it, you’ve already become addicted to it and you need external help. [Read: 7 sexiest types of sex you can ever have!]
If you’re a casual voyeur who just wants to make your sex life sexier, involve your partner and experiment with voyeurism together. But if you’re too embarrassed or scared to share your voyeuristic thoughts with your lover, you’re probably doing something morally wrong already.
[Read: Top 50 kinky ideas for a fun and sexy relationship]
Voyeurism is a sexy and pleasurable rush, but only as long as you have control over your sexual urges. And voyeurism is fun only when the person you’re watching knows that you’re watching and likes it. Remember that and make sure it stays that way.
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