For many, arousal doesn’t only come from the act of having sex. In fact, many kinks derive from watching someone else sexually. Does this sound like you? Well, you might just be into voyeurism.
If your first thought when you read the word “voyeurism” is a creepy old dude spying on others at a park, think again. Voyeurism is a safe, sexual practice when done between two consenting adults. In fact, it’s a fairly common kink!
So, if the thought of watching someone turns you on as much as engaging with them sexually, you aren’t alone. Voyeurism brings a new way to experience sex without distractions. For many, the new perspective of their partner turns them on in ways that physical sex can’t.
If you’re eager to explore more of this sexual fantasy, keep reading! We’ll introduce you to voyeurism, highlight its positives and negatives, and give examples of ways to bring your fantasy to life in the bedroom. [Read: Arousing sex fantasies to try in real life]
Voyeurism is a fetish where a person derives sexual pleasure out of witnessing someone undressing or indulging in a sexual act. The person who does the watching is the voyeur.
The fetish comes from the idea that the person who is being watched isn’t aware that the voyeur is watching them. [Read: Couples kinks list – 52 freaky & weird sexual fetishes many people indulge in]
In role-play instances, a couple may perform as if they don’t know the voyeur is watching. One partner may act as if they don’t notice their voyeur partner watching them undress or masturbate.
This is an example of consensually non-consenting to voyeurism. But when the person being watched genuinely is not aware of their peeping Tom, it violates their consent and privacy.
Voyeurism is a fairly common kink that doesn’t leave the bedroom between two consenting partners. But in other cases, the sexual fantasy can turn into a disorder that causes distress and breaks laws.
To many, voyeurism is a new way to have sex. Sure, they’re not physically having sex, but they are still experiencing it by watching. They’re seeing the pleasure, seeing their partner feel good, and in return it makes them feel good.
When a voyeur is engaging in their sexual fantasy with someone who likes to “show off,” it makes the kink all the more fun to act out. [Read: How to strip tease – 19 sexy moves for newbies to undress like a stripper]
When voyeurism is safely practiced, it involves a minimum of two consenting partners who act out a non-consensual scenario. Although their scenario may be non-consensual, both partners have agreed on the role-play beforehand.
Just like any kink, some boundaries have to be set to ensure everyone involved is safe and enjoying themselves. But it’s so worth it.
Introducing new role-play ideas and sexual fantasies to the bedroom is a great way for couples to liven up the bedroom and learn more about each other. [Read: 46 sizzling sex life secrets to spice up your bedroom & leave you horny 24/7]
As we said, voyeurism can be nothing more than a kink you and your partner act out in the bedroom. But there are extreme cases where this kink can turn into a voyeuristic disorder or criminal voyeurism.
The kink may develop into a voyeuristic disorder when the voyeur becomes obsessed. They seek out voyeuristic opportunities wherever they can, neglecting all other parts of their life.
Someone with a voyeuristic disorder is greatly distressed, less able to function *at work, school, relationships, friendships, etc.*, and may act on their criminal urges.
When voyeurism is non-consensual, it is a crime. Criminal voyeurism is noted under the law as observing and recording someone in a private act, installing a camera with the intention of recording someone during a private act, and recording or operating equipment underneath someone else’s clothing. [Read: 46 scary signs of a stalker, common types, and how to safely get rid of one]
Voyeurism and exhibitionism are opposite sides of the same coin. When put simply, voyeurism is the arousal of watching someone undressing or in a sexual act. Its counterpart, exhibitionism, is the arousal of undressing or indulging in a sexual act while being watched.
Someone who is an exhibitionist has a strong desire to have other people watch them, which makes them a good pair to a consenting voyeur. Exhibitionists fantasize about being watched, put on a show for a partner, film pornographic content, and dress *or undress* seductively for attention.
Consenting exhibitionism may be a neighbor undressing while knowing you’re watching, your partner sending nude photos while you’re at work, or inviting a third person to the bedroom while you watch your partner engage with them.
All of these exhibitionist acts require a consenting voyeur to watch them. Although you can identify as one or the other without having a complementary partner, it is much more fun if you do! [Read: Top 50 kinky sex ideas worth trying at least once in your lifetime!]
If you fancy the act of voyeurism, here are ways to explore your voyeuristic side with your own lover.
By opening up to your lover, your lover could help you experience the pleasure of voyeurism and exhibitionism in a controlled environment which could actually enhance your sexual relationship. [Read: 48 sexy secrets to have better sex & explore new things to try in bed]
The next time you have sex, place a large mirror parallel to your bed. If you don’t have a moveable mirror, try having sex somewhere you do have a mirror, such as the closet or the bathroom.
Watching you and your partner have sex in front of a mirror is a turn-on that you won’t want to miss out on.
Not only does the mirror create the effect that you’re being watched by a third party, but it also stimulates voyeur and exhibitionist tendencies. You will get to watch your partner have sex, and your partner will get to be watched having sex! Win-win!
Role-play is perfect for voyeurism kinks. You can role-play as strangers or role-play that your partner doesn’t know you’re watching.
They can then undress and pretend they don’t know that you’re in the next room, peeping at them through a keyhole or a crack in the window.
As long as the idea excites you and your partner, try it. If it makes one of you uncomfortable, try something else. [Read: Sexual roleplay – how to try it and the 35 best roleplay ideas for couples ]
Ask your partner to masturbate while you remain invisible to them. You can hide somewhere nearby with a view or your partner can even wear a blindfold.
Since your partner knows you’re watching but can’t see you, you can encourage them to pleasure themselves in ways that turn you on.
If your partner is going to take a bath or a shower, ask them to leave the door open for you to watch. Just the act of someone undressing to get in the shower can be incredibly arousing!
If you did not know, voyeurism porn is quite a popular genre in pornography. Not only can you get off on watching the action, but you can learn role-play ideas and moves in bed to practice voyeurism with your partner.
When viewing porn, just be sure that you are watching two consenting adults, rather than a hidden camera or a non-consenting partner. In that case, it is not voyeurism—it’s a crime. [Read: How to watch porn with your girlfriend & get her to enjoy it with you]
If there’s a strip club nearby, go there together and watch a live show or get a lap dance.
Although the sex workers at the club consent to being watched, you must remember that they do not consent to being recorded or any other violations.
Sites like Chatroulette and Omegle are perfect for voyeurism. Get online with your partner and watch other couples or singles. Almost always, you’ll have hundreds of people who are more than eager to flash at you! [Read: Things to know before stripping for your webcam]
Nudist resorts or sex vacations are great places to meet like-minded couples who enjoy the same activities as you do.
If your partner likes the idea, take off for a couple of weeks to a resort where there are no compulsions to strip down and see if you like what you experience. [Read: Sex on the beach – the couples guide to have naughty, kinky fun by the water]
If watching someone gives you a rush, videotape your partner or make a home video of both of you having sex *just make sure it doesn’t get into the wrong hands*!
A homemade video can be the perfect thing to watch as foreplay. Your partner may even send you the video when they know you’re busy running errands or at work to tap into your voyeurism!
Consider watching another consenting couple in bed together. If you’re comfortable with the idea, get intimate with your partner when the other couple is around. You can watch them as you have sex with your partner! [Read: 87 best dirty truth or dare questions for a wild and sexy night]
If you and your partner have a type of open relationship agreement, ask them if they would be willing to have sex with someone else while you watch. Of course, you will need to set boundaries beforehand to make sure you and your partner are getting the best out of the experience.
Watching your partner have sex with someone else can be a major turn-on. Cuckold kinks exist for a reason! Establish rules with your partner and their sexual partner and get to watching!
For those unaware of this concept, a kink party is a party for to adults engage in their sexual fantasies. At a kink party, you’ll find, well, a lot of sex. All consenting adults who are open to exploring kinks with other adults.
At these parties, rules are established at the entrance. Of course, you will still want to get consent before you engage with anyone. But there will be plenty of couples who will perform to fulfill your voyeurism urges!
Your voyeuristic side doesn’t make you a monster or a bad person, as long as you’re observing someone who consents. If you indulge in voyeurism, watch someone who wants to be watched. Period.
Use your bedroom to satiate your voyeuristic side. Communicate and consent with your partner beforehand and continue to check in on them while experimenting with voyeurism *and every other act in the bedroom.*
This sexual fetish can create a blurry line for people who may be struggling with a voyeuristic disorder or criminal voyeurism. If you or someone you know has any previously mentioned signs that their kink has become a disorder, reach out to a mental health counselor.
[Read: How to be kinky – 42 steamy tips to explore sex outside of normal]
Voyeurism is a sexy and pleasurable rush, but only when the person knows you’re watching and likes it. If you’re a casual voyeur who just wants to make your sex life sexier, involve your partner and experiment with voyeurism together. Just remember, consent is key!
Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.
LOVEPANKY IN YOUR INBOX
Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox!