At the end of the day, many women look for a man who knows what to do in bed. You are him, so you need to get a handle on how to dominate a woman in bed.
By learning how to be dominant in bed, you also carry these traits into the real world. It helps you become more assertive and confident. So, it’s time that you learned everything you need to know about how to dominate a woman in bed.
Women like men who know what they’re doing. And the same goes for men. Sure, if a woman is inexperienced, it’s cute. They also want a woman that knows how to give a blowjob. So, this need for experience goes both ways.
Now some women don’t necessarily like a dominant man in bed, but many women do. They want to feel like a woman and have sex with a man that defends them. Yeah, we’re going back to the Tarzan days here. But it’s true, it’s something we all biologically have as animals. [Read: The newbie’s guide to domestic discipline]
How to dominate a woman in bed
Now, you may worry, thinking you have to go all out. Listen, you don’t have to become some dominating tyrant in order for her to be sexually aroused in bed. She’s not looking for a man to turn into the Hulk the minute he enters the bedroom. But she does want a man that carries himself in and out of the bedroom.
You just have to look within to learn how.
#1 Look within first. Before you try to dominate a woman, think about yourself. Why weren’t you able to do this before? Is this tied to any insecurities you have? If so, you need to look at them and reflect on your self-esteem. There may be a reason why you’re not comfortable with being dominant in front of a woman. By figuring this out, you pinpoint the root problem. [Read: 11 power changes to alter your life and build your confidence]
#2 Talk to your partner. You must have consent. Talk to her about how far she is comfortable going when it comes to sexual activities. Dominant sex could be rough sex, but she may not be comfortable with it. If she only wants gentle domination, respect her wishes and don’t overstep your boundaries. [Read: 14 steps to communicating in relationship]
#3 Experiment with your partner. If this is your first time doing this and your partner is also new to this, test out what you both like and dislike. This is the only way to find out where your boundaries lie. To start dominant sex, it’s not difficult. Ask her if it’s okay to blindfold her or to lightly tie her to the bedpost. From there, you increase the domination, only if she agrees.
#4 Have a safe word. Sometimes, we get really excited when we have sex and accidentally ignore the other person when they’re uncomfortable. Listen, you need to create a safe word, it’s as simple as that. And you need to respect it.
A safe word can be anything. Preferably a word you won’t use during sex. It can be used at any time and both partners must stop sexual activity.
#5 You don’t have to be dominant all the time. There’s this assumption that you have to be dominant all the time when having sex. Listen, you don’t have to be anything you don’t feel like being. If you feel dominant and your partner agrees, then be dominant. If you want your partner to be dominant and she agrees, then be submissive. Switching it up keeps the sexual chemistry interesting and hot. [Read: 14 ways to allow your girl to dominate you and unleash the dominatrix goddess in her]
#6 Gentle dominance. If you start out, start out light. Gentle dominance helps you and your partner adjust yourselves. This includes pushing your partner up against a wall, dirty talk, biting, hair pulling, and manhandling such as throwing your partner on the bed, holding their wrists, etc. It’s gentle, yet, it’s not overdoing it.
#7 Moderate dominance. This is when things become a little heated. Once you pass gentle dominance, you are now more comfortable with each other and the idea of dominant sex. Moderate dominance includes spanking, biting, orgasm denial, handcuffing, and hot wax or hot lube. As you can tell, it’s definitely up one notch from gentle dominance and a little rougher. [Read: BDSM 101 and the beginners guide to being a dominatrix]
#8 Aggressive dominance. Now, this is some Mr. Grey type shit. If you don’t know that reference, shame on you. This is the full form of dominant sex. It includes BDSM, choking, gagging, and degradation. Now, it’s a huge step from spanking or biting, so make sure your partner is completely on board with the idea. And make sure you both know the safe word. [Read: How to set the rules for a master-slave relationship]
#9 It’s gonna take some time. If you’re not used to dominating women then it’s gonna take a couple times to get used to it. Firstly, if insecure, you’ll be overly focused on your actions, and it may feel forced. However, you get over the awkwardness after a couple times, but if you don’t feel right about it then stop.
#10 Include roleplaying. Now, this doesn’t have to be included every time you have dominant sex, but it’s a fun add-on and can be used at any point in the game whether it’s gentle or aggressive dominance. Has your partner always wanted to be a nurse? Well, now here’s there shot at it. Become as creative as you want and choose any character to play.
#11 You can do some of these in public. Of course, you’re not going to show aggressive dominance in public, that would scar many children and elderly. But show some gentle forms of dominance such as dirty talking into their ear, biting their lip when you kiss them. It’s a good way to create the sexual tension before you make it to the bedroom. That way, it’s even more intense. [Read: 15 dirty ways to have the sexiest rough sex ever]
#12 Remember to get consent. If your partner isn’t expecting what you plan to do, for example, gag her, it’s going to be a traumatizing experience, especially if she’s never done it before. There’s nothing wrong with dominant sex, but there is something wrong when you don’t ask your partner for permission. Respect your partner and their feelings. So, remember to talk and get consent.